


For the Lies We Leave Behind

by Ingoma



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: A whole lot of abuse, Angst, Backstory, Character Death, Cult-like thinking patterns, Cults, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hypocrisy, Inspiration from Religious Abuse, Kidnapping, Lore - Freeform, Manipulation, Mind Control, Mind Games, Mind Manipulation, Minor Character Death, Perma-death (offscreen), Pre-Canon, Respawn Mechanics, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Devotion, Unhealthy Relationships, Unhealthy thinking patterns, Vex (Minecraft) - Freeform, Vex cult, Wordcount: Over 100.000, bad things, convex, deception and lies, did i mention abuse?, half this fic is author coping with religious abuse, it's really obvious at times, kingdomcraft, please be advised.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 53,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28604748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingoma/pseuds/Ingoma
Summary: Only the Vex matter. Not him. That is what Cub knows. He is Nothing.Then Scar comes. And Cub's world shatters.A Cub and Scar backstory.
Relationships: Cubfan135 & GoodTimesWithScar (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 153
Kudos: 96





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The first few chapters are short, but the chapter divides become longer later on.
> 
> Read the tags, please.

The mansion of the Vex was red with the blood they had spilled of generations of players. The room he stood had a carpet, one that would be white had his own blood not stained it. Or maybe the dried blood of the person who had sat in this same spot before was to blame, or the person before, on and on until the sun had first rose over the Overworld, before the universe had begun. He wouldn’t know . His mind was a blank slate, and another hand controlled the chalk. The same hand that had spilled his blood could spill his mind. Nothing was secret nor safe in the mansion of Vex. They did as they pleased, together for the benefit of the group. He was lucky to even be given the chance to be sitting here, staring at the blood of ConVex long bought and sold, time and time again. They were very gracious, the Vex, to those they considered their pets.They fed him, they clothed him, and all they asked in return was his complete obedience. He didn't deserve it.

He was devoted to the Vex, and his name was Cub. That was another thing that he knew, his name being Cub. For some reason, the name felt empty, like it was missing something. There was no logical reason for this feeling though, so Cub let it go. It wasn't important. He was fortunate enough to have a name, after all. He didn't really deserve one. To the Vex he was just 'ConVex'. Not 'Cub' or whatever he felt he should be called. ConVex was a title of great renown. It was important in a way that 'Cub' wasn't. Cub was nothing, after all. His worth was defined by how the Vex wished him to be. If they decided he was nothing, he was nothing. The Vex in his mind chuckled at this. Cub pacified himself without hesitance, letting his mind go blank to keep the canvas clear for the Vex. The cuckling only increased, becoming a cacophony that hurt his ears. It sounded like life and death mixed into one beautifully horrid cry that Cub loved to hear. It was what his Vex sounded like, and that was who he was devoted towards. His Vex were everything. 

Cub was nothing and the Vex were everything. 

He liked the sound of that mantra. The Vex did too, from how his mind filled with pleased murmurs. It was a low noise, the Vex weren't actively there, but it was comforting to know they were listening. They seemed to care about Cub. Cub didn't matter to them yet they cared. How gracious were the Vex that they allowed Cub so much freedom in his thought, how gracious they trusted him enough to have made him their ConVex. He was their ConVex. He loved being their ConVex.

_ You won't be ours soon, _ a Vex giggled, the voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard, the feeling deep inside of him despite it heard in his ears. It didn't even make Cub flinch like it did at first. He was a good ConVex. He was a good ConVex. Good ConVex didn't ask questions, they trusted the Vex to do what was best, even if it wasn't best for the ConVex. The ConVex didn't matter, he didn't matter, he was just the Vex's pet, and he was grateful the Vex so much as acknowledged him. They didn't have to. He wasn't anything. The Vex made him something beyond the rebellious, awful player body he inhabited. The Vex made him strong. Without the Vex he was nothing. Cub decided he didn't like to think about not having the Vex. 

_ ConVex, _

_ Convex _

_...coooonvex _

_ CONVEX  _ the voices yelled at one and all separately, the noises flooding Cub's mind. He leapt to his feet from the kneeling position he had been in, stumbling a bit on legs unused for too long. They burned slightly in an unpleasant fuzzy pain throughout his sore muscles as Cub's vision flashed black. He stayed steady on his feet despite this, waiting patiently for the next order from the Vex. He didn't shuffle, he didn't move, he was a well-trained pet.

_ Are _

_ Are you ready? _

_ Convex. _

_ Be good _

_ You're always so good. _

_ Well Trained _

_ Pet, move _

Cub could see the room he was to walk to. It was the most ornate room in the mansion, the place where other mansions would arrive for… actually Cub didn't know. He also didn't know how he knew this information, maybe the Vex had said it before, but Cub couldn't remember. This wasn't unusual. Cub has found he can't remember how he knew a lot of information that he felt he should probably know. Like that blood on the carpet. Was it his, or was it a different ConVex's? He felt like it was connected to him, but he couldn't remember. He almost thought the lack of memory was abnormal, but it was the only normal he knew. If it wasn't good he was forgetting things, then the Vex would fix it. Unless he was a damaged ConVex? 

Even if Cub was abnormal, he would do his best to be the best ConVex he could, Cub swore. It was all he needed to do, exactly as the Vex said. He was nothing and the Vex were everything. So, Cub walked through the mansion, past the bloodstained places and the odd claw marks marring the otherwise eerily pristine walls, past the maze of carpet, reds and whites, past the many rooms, empty and filled with the strangest of things, from treasures to curiosities to bodies and skeletons, and to the door that led into the hall. 

Doors in a mansion were sized for ConVex and players. Vex didn't need things like doors to travel through, they had their magic. Cub always felt a slight twinge of longing for the magic of the Vex. They could appear in one place and vanish in another. They could create illusions. They could rip apart minds, though Cub didn't know how he knew that last one. They were powerful beings. Cub was honored to not have been disposed of by them. He didn't do much, when he thought about it. He had nothing the Vex could want, yet they put up with the nothing he was. They even seemed amused by his antics sometimes, the way Cub would do his best to please his masters, yet failing over and over thanks to his sinful, player nature. Sometimes Cub wished he could carve out that rebellious player nature, and replace it with full devotion to the Vex. The thoughts he had were intrusive, annoying, the way his mind turned over every problem. It would be easier on the Vex if they didn't have to deal with his mind, yet they let him keep it. Cub didn't know why, but he felt grateful.

The one good thing about thoughts was that they masked the slight boredom that walking through endless halls of tapestries and dark oak, and there Cub could see the room he needed to go to. The room where the Vex had ordered. Cub opened the door and walked inside. He took a step back, gazing over the decadent place in awe. Everywhere, Vex Magic lay, creating beautiful patterns with the dark oak and the carpets. Chandeliers of glowstone and gold hund from the ceiling, all inlaid with diamonds. The table itself was finely carved and engraved, all pieces that spoke of flagrant wealth despite serving little practical purpose among the Vex beyond odd curiosities of a realm they conquered. Cub could see himself sitting down in a small, plainer stool in a distinguished place on the table. Cub climbed up and complied, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the center of attention spot he had been granted. 

Then, he waited. He did his best not to let his mind wander, after all, this was obviously an important occasion, even if Cub didn't quite know what it was. He needed to make sure He was perfect, to show the mansion who owned him in the best possible light. Cub sat and stared, admiring the emeralds inlaid in a tapestry, providing that much proof of wealth. Beside that was glowing diamond tools. They looked off, the glow familiar to Cub, but not on a tool. He wondered if it wasn't enchantment magic that these tools possessed. Any being with half a brain could access enchantment magic. Cub suspected they were tools enchanted with Vex Magic, maybe by pure virtue of existing in a room with so much magic. If Cub looked closely, he could see everything glistening slightly, telling of magic inlaid within them. It was something that happened with objects near powerful Vex Magic, Cub guessed. They took on some magical properties of their own.

That tangent was the last his mind could go on, when the feeling of magic shifted. Cub inhaled, looking around slightly nervously, as a presence poked at his mind. It felt like a Vex, but… it wasn't the mansion he knew. They were strangers, and Cub froze, unsure of friend or foe. He waited for orders like he had been trained, poking the Vex of his mansion slightly. It was terrifying to ask them for direction, but maybe this time would be fine. It usually was, but Cub could remember asking a question and getting punished for it, though he couldn't remember either the question nor the punishment. 

_ Oh ConVex _

_ ConVex! _

_ New masters. _

_ They bought you. _

_ Good ConVex, very valuable _

_ Yes, many _

_ Many diamonds and magic! _

_ Good ConVex. _

_ Go with them now. _

Giggles and chuckling filled Cub's mind from both sides of the transaction. The mansion he serv- used to serve? Cub didn't know, was fading from his mind. Cub felt petrified as the new, strange, foreign Vex began to invite themselves in, feeling around Cub's mind, for… something. Cub didn't quite know what they wished. He would need to learn what they wished, if he was to be a good ConVex for them. He could vaguely recall this being mentioned, him being a ConVex for sale, but he didn't remember where. It was all faded, like it had washed away with most of his memories, and a vague feeling of  _ something _ was all that remained. All he knew was that this wasn't surprising. He didn't know it, but he expected this, and knew what to do. The first Vex mansion, Cub forgot in his mind, pushing it back with the memories that were vague. They didn't matter anymore, not while he needed to be good for this new house. 

Cub was a good ConVex. He did as he was told. That last order,  _ go with them now, _ engraved itself onto his heart and soul. Did ConVex have a soul, or was that something they lost when serving the Vex? Cub shook his head to clear the odd thoughts he always had. They didn't matter.

Only the Vex mattered, after all.


	2. Build Me Down, Break Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another normal day. Just another normal life...

Cub doesn't remember the trip to the mansion. One moment, he was at the old one, the next, he was in the halls of a different mansion. It felt the same, but so drastically different, like the difference between beetroot and mushroom stew. Both were good, both were stew, but they were different. They acted differently. They wanted different things. This confused Cub. Why his confusion was taken with anger instead of amusement. Why they flew in front of his face late at night, while he collapsed from the exhaustion, demanding he move. He felt cranky, off put, and a bit tired. This was what pleased the Vex. The first, and only, time he lashed out was entirely by accident, a part of his taming that didn’t quite stick correctly, leaving him in a place of fear.

Cub had been walking aimlessly. He wished to go back to the room set aside for him, a rather spacious place for what he was. His room was around three blocks by three blocks, with a small cot he could curl up on, a cauldron to wash his clothes, and three outfits to change in between the days. There was no reason to have a  _ smelly _ ConVex, the Vex had explained, slightly disgusted, and they wouldn’t be the ones to clean Cub like he couldn’t take care of himself, unlike who they’d bought him from. Compared to the rooms of the mansion of Vex, his room was a small, tiny, insignificant part, but that suited the ConVex fine. It made sense, that certain poetic symmetry. He was nothing, and the Vex were everything, after all. His mantra held true even here. The Vex enjoyed having a pet that had only devotion to them, and Cub was a good boy.

He had to be. Even now, beyond exhausted as the world phased in and out around him (or was that simply his vision?), he had to obey the Vex. They had called him to the other side of the mansion, and therefore he had to go there. As soon as possible. Why his face was on the floor of the carpet, staring at the red wool, he didn’t know. He had to get up, but when he tried to crawl, his mind gave out. He didn’t know how long he’d been awake for, running around the mansion to please the slightest whims of the Vex, but it had taken its toll. He was exhausted and weak. The Vex urged him on, he could feel their amusement at his human body's predicament. The Vex didn’t sleep. They went on inexhaustible, their energy was solely from Vex Magic after all, and simple ConVex like Cub couldn’t use Vex Magic. He had to move, he had to. 

_ Slow. _

_ Weakly. _

_ Waste of money. _

Cub silently agreed. He was nothing. He couldn’t even do such a simple task of walking across the mansion. He was a worthless servant, a terrible ConVex. A Vex probed his mind, and Cub… for a moment, lying on the crowd, fear swelling inside him as the Vex circled around, flooding his mind… he forgot where he was. Instead of relaxing to make the entry easy, he threw up barriers in his mindscape. Barriers to protect from the intrusion of other Vex were one of the few things Cub had been taught. A proper ConVex would only use them as a last resort, if his mansion was under an intrusion and he had to hide. Using them on his own Vex? Cub realized his mistake moments after making it, but it was far too late.

_ DOWN. _

_ Rebellious ConVex.  _

_ Awful. Awful.  _

_ He should be killed for this. _

_ Death is too easy. Punished. _

_ How to punish a ConVex? _

_ Rebelling.  _

_ We were told you were a good ConVex. _

Cub sobbed as he ripped apart his own mind's barriers, trying to submit. He had done something against the Vex, committed the most heinous crime. He had thought he was better. He swore he was doing his best, he didn’t know what came over him. He had been an awful ConVex. He still couldn’t believe it. He’d been tired, he’d been cranky, but he’d disobeyed the Vex. That was a crime of his worst imagining. The Vex did so much good for him. They’d given him a room, the simple tasks they asked were nothing. Without the Vex, he was nothing. His servanthood to them was his entire being, and he had failed. He’d failed to do as the Vex wanted. He was the worst ConVex, barely a proper ConVex. He pleaded with them, he begged for forgiveness.

_ Forgiveness, but discipline. _

_ Discipline is different then punishment. _

_ You should be killed.  _

_ How do we punish… _

_ Leave alone. Nothing from us. _

_ Banished from the Mind.  _

_ Four weeks! _

_ For a week. _

_ Not long, it’s pleading. _

_ Banished for a day, alone and… _

_ It is nothing and it tried to be something. ConVex are for us, and it thought it was something. _

_ But it’s just a pet. Does it know any better? _

_ We train it to be better. But that means discipline. _

_ Discipline isn’t punishment.-- _

\--And Cub’s mind was silent. It was silent. It was empty. There was nothing. Nothing at all. Just… him. He looked around, and he could see the Vex, but his mind told him they weren't there. He called out, and there was no response. The Vex's manifestations swooped around, guiding the stumbling, panicking Cub to a small, off-to-the-side room. The room was empty, save for the giant chicken that stared at him with soulless eyes. He couldn't feel where it was, he couldn't  _ feel _ it. He could see it, he could touch it, but he was separated. Cut off from the Vex, cutoff from everything. It was terrifying. It felt horrible. Cub's mouth screamed and begged, but the Vex had vanished. They could leave him here, with nothing but his thoughts, and it was his fault. He had been a bad ConVex. He should never have even resisted. He was a bad ConVex, and he wanted to be a good ConVex. He felt horrible, he felt empty, his throat felt sore. He was going mad in his own mind, and the Vex weren’t telling him  _ what _ to think. 

Which means he needed to remember how to think. He could do that, he had been drilled by the first mansion. How to think correctly, how to be good even in his own mind. The first mansion had told him that his own mind was the beginning of evil, thanks to his rebellious nature. His mind wanted him to believe he was more then the Vex, but that was entirely false. He was nothing without the Vex. He was nothing, and the only thing that made him something was the Vex, but he had failed and now he was crying. He could feel the tears distant as they were. The liquid flowed from his eyes and nose, covering him in filth. He was filth, a bad ConVex. He was self-pitying, not thinking correctly. 

How does he defeat his own mind without the Vex’s help? This was the worst part of his punishment. He couldn’t live without the Vex’s guiding hands on his mind. So, he curled in the corner of this small room, exhaustion mixed with too high emotions to fall asleep. He whispered his truth of wishing to be a good ConVex even as his world faded around him. His last thought before he collapsed into unconsciousness was of the Vex. 

.

It hurt to be separated from the Vex, yet it also hurt to rejoin. It was all overwhelming, far too much for his small player brain to comprehend. He could vaguely recall screaming while the Vex’s tendrils retook his consciousness, sorting through it and revealing all his hidden places. It was like being deeply violated, but Cub did his best to be willing and open. This wouldn’t have happened had he not tried to hide his mind. He had had his deepest instincts fixed to obey the Vex, and even then he’d disobeyed. His eyes saw odd colors, despite his eyes being closed. Flashes of memories, wide green spaces and living wood. Voices besides his own calling out, but the memory’s vanishing before he could even dwell on them for a moment. The Vex seemed to be unhappy with each removal.

_ They said it was strong-minded. _

_ Awful work. We could just break our own. _

_ Then why don’t we? _

_ First, fix this one. _

He was silent the whole way through. Inside himself, he hoped he  _ was  _ just the result of improper treatment, improper breaking. It would be a reason for his rebelling beyond his own faults. He just wanted an excuse.

_ No excuse. _

The reprimands of the Vex felt harsh and cutting to his deepest part. They were right, he had no excuse. He needed to be a good ConVex, despite his…  _ the _ past mansion’s bad job of changing his mind. He was the Vex’s. Completely the Vex’s. That was the day he swore to always return, to always show the Vex he was good. No matter what. 

His life wasn’t exciting. He was usually forgotten, toyed with, then tossed aside like the toy he was. He would pass the time cleaning the important Vex artifacts, polishing the diamonds. He avoided the terracotta. The magic inside of it hurt to touch as it channeled through his body, overwhelming him. ConVex weren’t kept for their use, though Cub thought they might once have. They were kept to obey and worship their masters, to serve the Vex’s desires and bring them amusement. Cub did his best to be the clay that the Vex would mold into their own desires, wet and soft and easy to form. He didn’t want to harden and shatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter leaning chapter, but this one felt important to establish 'Mansion Life' so to speak. 
> 
> Next chapter will have more substance to it as we finally get into more of the meat of the story.


	3. The Scars We Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change.

That day was like any others. Cub was limping, slightly, his ankle had been broken when some Vex who’d been throwing him around had dropped him. He’d cried a bit, but the Vex found it even more amusing. They’d healed it slightly when they were finished, but not enough. It hurt to walk on, but he pressed onward. Absent-mindedly, Cub pulled out another chunk of hair from his head. It had mostly fallen out, and Cub didn’t know the reason. The patches that remained were more nuisance than anything. While Cub didn’t quite know the time of day unless he asked, he assumed it was a good time for him to go back to his room and sleep until the Vex roused him. While he didn’t feel tired, per say, he didn’t know when the next chance he’d get to rest would be, and he wished to be in his best condition for the Vex.

The mansion was quieter than it usually was. He could vaguely recall the Vex mentioning they had discovered something, between the pain and fear. Maybe some went out to explore when they sent a pillager patrol to investigate whatever they spotted. Cub didn’t know. He didn’t need to know if it didn’t suit the Vex. He needed to quiet down his inner monologue, focus more on the Vex alone. They were all that mattered, and still Cub’s mind wandered. He paused, took a breath. He let it out, focusing on the Vex Mind alone. He was a part of it, minor as his role was, and he needed to act proper. Vex. Vex magic. Cake good. 

_ ConVex, come. _

And Cub turned and followed the voice, all thoughts of sleep put aside to do his duty. His limping foot almost made him fall as he stumbled over the uncooperative limb. A nearby Vex chuckled, the cacophony honey to Cub’s mind. He half hopped forward, the movement awkward and painful, slower than walking, but quicker than limping. He hadn’t sensed urgency in the Vex’s voice, but promptness was a virtue the Vex valued in a ConVex. 

The halls turned more opulent as Cub journeyed. The ones closest to the entrance to whatever was beyond the mansion’s walls were the most highly decorated, showing off the Vex’s might to anyone who may stumble in. Cub found himself trapped in the halls, the door he had been directed to enter too large for his reach to reach. He did try, hopping on his feet, just to collapse. The door opened as Cub struggled to get back up, his leg screaming in pain and heat as it protested Cub’s coercion. 

Once he got on his feet, he hesitated. The last time he was directed towards a place like this, he had been sold to his current Vex. What if the Vex had become so displeased by his failings they decided to get rid of him? Did he do something so wrong they’d decided to cast out Cub permanently? Cub gripped his mental tether in slight fright, holding onto it and refusing to let go as he limped into the room. There was an opulent table, too big for any reasonably sized creature, but that was fine to the Vex.They didn’t use tables, after all. The size was for show, like everything else the Vex had. His Vex mansion wasn’t quite as gilded as the first one, but was still impressive for Cub.

As he approached the table, the tethers of magic lifted Cub up, dropping him down on his broken ankle when they dropped him. Cub looked away, not wanting to cry and potentially ruin whatever the Vex were doing. He was a good ConVex. He would please the Vex. He did as the Vex wished, and did his best to never disobey. Why, then, was there another player sized figure huddled on the table, unconscious or dead? No, ConVex, no whys. Do as the Vex said, he reminded himself. They would explain when and if they wished.

_ A friend! _

_ New ConVex. _

_ You help us break it! _

The Vex’s voices conveyed this to him all at once, a million times over, in their usual disconnected speaking. Cub had simply gotten better at interpreting it down to the main points, his mind running through the data and piecing together the parts relevant. The figure was a player the Vex intended to become a ConVex. He hobbled towards the figure. It looked young, in its sleeping state. Its hair was a dark color, long brown reminded Cub of his hair, before… He wasn’t sure. He decided that line of thinking was wrong, and moved on to observe the new ConVex’s clothing. It seemed to be made of leather and a softer linen then Cub’s garments. He found himself a bit jealous of this player. It seemed to have been treated… differently. Not better. He wasn’t jealous, he needed to feel pity and pride. Pity this player has yet to learn the grace of his Vex, and pride that the Vex wished him to help train the new ConVex.

He reached out hesitantly, waiting for the Vex to stop him. When they didn’t, he poked the player, once, twice, waiting for it to move. The body stayed still. Cub turned the player over, and saw its closed eyes, rugged face, but the most obvious feature were its scars. Long lines shredded down its face, time only slightly fading the old wounds. Cub traced one in surprise, feeling theforeign texture of large scar tissue. The hat it was wearing fell off. Cub picked the head covering up and placed it back on the player's head. He wondered why it wasn’t waking up. Poking it again, harder, yielded no response. He half-hoped the Vex wouldn’t make him carry it, not with his leg in pain like this. He would do his best, no matter what they say. 

A Vex circled down, magic touching the body’s forehead. The player lashed out with an arm, Cub leapt back in surprise at the sudden movements. The player's eyes shot open and the player leapt to its feet. Its head whipped around, taking in the sight. Cub’s crouched cowering, the Vex’s interested gaze. The player stood firm, not backing down despite the Vex’s pull.

“Where am I, Vex?” spat the player.

_ Disobedience. Hostility _ . 

Judged the Vex. Cub shivered at the tone. The player wasn’t budging, like it didn’t know how to properly act in front of Vex. Maybe it didn’t know. The Vex would teach it. Cub wished he could explain it to the player, explain how submission and devotion was rewarding in itself. The player didn’t even seem to notice Cub.

“ _ My  _ mansion won’t be pleased when they find out you kidnapped one of their own. Do you wish to start a war, Vex?”

_ Wild ConVex _

_ Free ConVex _

_ This is why we never liked those one _

_ They will assume you died worldhopping.  _

_ Or left for players _

“My Vex have more faith in me, or they wouldn’t have let me wander alone.”

_ They don’t _

_ We won’t let you wander _

_ Wild ConVex are bad ConVex _

_ Ungrateful and disobedient _

_ Needs correction  _

_ Your mansion won’t find out _

_ You are ours now. _

Cub’s hand swam trying to understand and process the new information. This player was a fellow ConVex. It was something different then Cub. He didn’t know if he liked the idea, wandering through worlds. He could hardly move without the Vex telling him where to go. This poor ConVex had probably been hurt, practically abused into thinking it was capable of functioning without the Vex. Cub’s heart broke. A Vex stirred, chattering in his ear. It was granting permission.

“I am not yours. I am my own,” defied the scarred ConVex with words that spoke of many years of pain. 

“Please, masters,” Cub said, the Vex who’d permitted his speaking nodding along, granting support for his idea. “Let me take care of it. It just needs a friend to train it.”

_ Friend… _

_ ConVex train ConVex _

The Vex collective spun, visually thinking through Cub’s suggestion. The ConVex beside Cub looked at him with intrigue. Cub ignored the gaze.

_ ConVex should be seen and not heard- _

_ They gave permission. _

_ The thought relieves us of work. _

_ An experiment! _

_ More ConVex to display, more power to own, more _

_ Selling. _

_ Cake! _

_ Yes. _

_ Yes, take it back to the room you sleep in _

_ See if it has an ounce of brain. _

Cub hobbled and offered a hand to the player. He felt a strange shivering and longing when the flesh met. He hadn’t touched someone else… he couldn’t remember ever. As the duo was lowered by Vex Magic to the floor, courtesy of the one Vex who gave permission for Cub to speak, Cub found himself craving more touch then the slight hand the two shared as they together hobbled in tiredness, and pain, Cub guiding to his- the room he slept in. He didn’t own anything, everything he had was the Vex’s. Still, seeing the player beside him’s tired gaze, he wished he could protect and guide the player like the Vex had guided him.

.

There was only one bed in the room Cub slept in. He’d slept on the floor enough, so he didn’t mind directing the player to sit down on it. “Wait,” the player said in a young voice, “my name is Scar. GoodTimesWithScar, in full, but you don’t need to say the full name.”

The smile the player gave was weird. It wasn’t like the Vex’s wide grin or Cub’s empty stare. It had an odd emotion stirring inside Cub, an emotion he remembered the feeling  _ of, _ but couldn’t recall ever feeling it. It wasn’t loneliness, and it certainly wasn’t fear. It felt like warmth, and Cub didn’t know why. He hesitated, wondering if he should say Cub or ConVex. After all, the Vex had never used the word Cub used for himself. He didn’t even know why Cub felt right, it just did. He guessed that with two around, ConVex would feel even more wrong. So Cub replied back, “My name is Cub.”

“Just Cub?” prompted the player. Cub frowned. He felt like there should be more. Yet…

“Just Cub,” he confirmed, though not without a twinge of uncertainty. He certainly couldn’t remember there being more. Maybe the Vex didn’t like his ‘more’. He decided not to press his mind for it, and was grateful that Scar left it at that.

“Nice to meet you! How are today?” Scar replied. Friendly, that was the word. Cub’s stomach hurt at that word, friend. It was painful, almost awful. That concept of companionship was wrought with fear, and he could almost see the idea of blood being spilled from that word. The feeling itself was good. The word, not so much.

“I…” Cub wasn’t sure how to reply. Should he even reply?

“Nevermind,” Scar said. “How long have you been here?”

“I don’t know,” Cub answered.

Scar frowned. “Do you know anything?”

“I know how to serve the Vex!” Cub said, visibly brightening at that. Scar’s eyes widened slightly. Did Cub say something wrong? Why had he thought this was a good idea, teaching Scar to be a good ConVex. He himself was barely a good ConVex, he had thoughts and ideas of his own and that was bad. How could he train this rebellious, awful player? Cub had no clue. 

“That’s… nice,” Scar answered.

“I’m supposed to teach you how,” Cub said.

“I can serve  _ my  _ Vex. Yours kidnapped me!” Scar snapped. His eyes were almost glowing with anger. 

Cub didn’t know what kidnapping was. He thought over the word. From Scar’s tone, it wasn’t a good thing. Maybe it was taking someone somewhere, but that was about as much as Cub could comprehend. “My Vex are your Vex now. They’re kind Vex.”

“You’re one of those ConVex,” Scar said in disgust. “You can’t think for yourself.”

“Thinking is bad,” Cub retorted, “unless your thoughts are on what the Vex want.”

“Is that why you spoke up, it was what the Vex wanted?” Scar challenged.

“One gave me permission.”

Scar looked disgusted. The expression soon changed to thoughtfulness as the two sat in silence for a moment. “It was still your own thought.”

Cub was quick to defend himself. “Any Vex could have thought it. I had permission. You were being a bad ConVex. I doubt you even ever were one if that’s how you act.”

“Is that all that matters to you? If the Vex told you to kill yourself in a permadeath world, would you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because they know best.”

Scar’s look of concern hurt Cub. The poor player didn’t understand how good Cub had it. The Vex were so good to him, and Scar didn’t know. Cub just wanted to share the Vex’s gifts with Scar, teach it how to be a good ConVex. Maybe even a better one then Scar. “They call us it like objects!”

“What do you mean’?” Cub asked.

“The pronouns. They don’t see us as human.”

“We are human.”

“Yes,” Scar smiled and nodded.

“Humans are worthless.”

“No, we’re not! We’re people. I am he. I am a player and I deserve respect,” Scar declared. It,  _ his _ eyes shone with a fury that was, in Scar’s warped mind, justified.

“They’ll hurt you if you keep thinking wrongly,” Cub warned.

“Yes,” Scar replied, “but I’m stubborn.”

“You’re sick. You need helping. I’m here to help you, Scar,” Cub tried desperately. He didn’t understand. How had this young, passionate, yet so obviously hurt player wormed his way into Cub’s heart so fast? Cub had known Scar for not even an hour, yet already felt the need to protect him. He was wrong, Cub knew, his words were the ramblings of a mad man, dissonant thinking so far from what Cub had taught. He needed to teach Scar to be good. 

"You're hopeless."

"My hope is in the Vex. The Vex are everything Scar. ConVex are to do as we're told."

"But I'm  _ not their ConVex. _ "

"Does it matter?" Cub asked.

"My Vex give me a leash. Yours have you by the collar," Scar said.

"I, at least, know how to obey."

"This argument is going nowhere."

"What's an argument?" Cub asked, the question slipping out before he could think about it. Scar blinked.

"Cub, did you understand the words I'm using?" he asked.

"Most," Cub shrugged. Scar and Cub locked eyes for a moment. Scar shuddered.

"Did… they make you like this? You can say if you don't understand."

"Do you mean, was this my first mansion?" Cub asked, flinching subconsciously at his own words.

"Yeah."

"No."

"Thank Jeb," Scar sighed, "I have a chance."

"A chance of what?" Cub asked. Scar looked away from Cub's gaze. He looked off, concerned, yet planning.

"Nevermind Cub. I'm tired," Scar announced. "Do the Vex let you sleep, or do you have to ask them for that too?"

"I can sleep whenever the Vex don't wish for me," Cub responded. 

"Why don't we do that, wait, where is your bed?"

"ConVex don't own anything," Cub parroted to Scar, "all we are is the Vex's."

"Fine, where do you sleep?"

"I can sleep wherever," Cub shrugged.

"I don't want to sleep on the bed if you don't-"

"I'll be fine, Scar. You need it more than I."

"You were limping. It can't be comfortable sleeping on the floor."

"Serving the Vex isn't about comfort, it's about doing whatever is necessary to make sure the Vex get what's best."

Scar sighed, "Good night Cub."

"Good night, Scar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. Scar's in this too. Yay.


	4. Magical, Radical, Sporadically

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tick tock goes the clock  
> And, once more, I cry  
> But the ticking and tocking  
> And clicking and locking  
> Cares, not for, my lie

Cub didn't know what morning was, or why he referred to the time after he woke up as it. Time in a Vex Mansion was almost meaningless, the halls unchanging no matter the hour. Vex didn't sleep. It was another way they were set apart from players and ConVex alike. Another way that Cub, and now the sleeping figure of Scar beside him, were inferior. He dwelt a lot on the Vex. After all, what else could he think about? The Vex were his entire universe. They owned his body and mind. Was it any wonder his thoughts first drifted to them? Until, Scar made a small whine in his sleep. Cub looked at Scar. Was this how Cub looked when he slept? Scar looked so vulnerable, lying there on his side, curled up with the thin woolen blanket. It got cold in the mansion some times, especially in the thin garments the Vex gave. 

Yesterday had been weird. His leg still hurt, and now there was a second ConVex. Still, Cub was optimistic about today. He slowly rose to his feet, going over to a small water stream he could wash his face and beard in. He hadn't gotten a chance to wash his clothing yet, so he took the opportunity. His current outfit didn't smell weird yet, so he was fine. He wanted to look presentable for the Vex, but they didn't seem to care about his outward appearance.

The bed creaked. Cub turned to see Scar sitting up and blinking. He was feeling around, his bony fingers reaching for his hat. He turned around, spending a moment blink on the side of the bed, fiddling with the hat, before placing on to cover his mat of hair. He turned his head, and Scar and Cub's gaze met. For a moment Scar's face fell. It didn't stay down, and soon any initial mood was masked by a bright smile on Scar's face. "Hello, Cub!"

"Hello, Scar," Cub greeted. His smile was genuine, if less enthusiastic. His aching leg was a constant reminder of where he was. Where else would he be? He was here to teach Scar to be a good ConVex, so the Vex wouldn't hurt him. Cub was a bad ConVex, otherwise he wouldn't be in pain. How was a bad ConVex going to teach Scar? Maybe it was hopeless, just like Scar said he was.

Scar didn't know Cub's inner worries. The man didn't bother with the sink. He pulled on a pair of boots, and stood. Cub was taller then Cub by a few inches, made exceedingly clear by Cub's leaning on his uninjured leg. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Cub blinked, wondering how to phrase this. "The Vex felt… bored, and I wasn't entertaining enough. They decided I wasn't worth the energy to heal."

"But healing magic is easy," Scar protested. "I could show you."

Cub froze. He darted his eyes to Scar, burrowing his thick eyelashes in confusion. Scar knelt at Cub's side, slowly laying his hands on Cub's hurt leg. 

"Could I?" Scar asked, gesturing. It took a moment of silence for Cub to realize Scar was asking for a response from him. He didn't really know what to say. He didn't remember anyone ever asking him if he wanted something. The Vex always just took and gave, no matter Cub's wants. Why would they even consider him? Was this asking for permission something players did? What it something Cub needed to rebuke? He didn't know.

Cub nodded his head, a bit slowly, cautiously. Scar seemed satisfied with this as Scar closed his eyes and rested his hand. For a moment, there was nothing. A soft glow, the glow of Vex magic, began to appear on Scar's hand, traveling and wrapping itself around Cub's leg. He gasped at the sight, but didn't so much as flinch. It felt like a softer magic, healing what had been hurt, resetting the aches and soothing the pains in a way so calm. Cub hadn't ever experienced something like it. He might have compared it to the sip of a regeneration potion, had he known the feeling of such a thing. It was cool, but warm. Empty, yet whole. The pain became another one of Cub's few remembered memories as the magic flowed back into Scar. The player had a satisfied, if slightly tired, air to him. Cub knew what had happened, it was so obvious, but it made no sense.

"Feeling better?" Scar asked, like he hadn't just done the impossible.

"How did you channel Vex magic?" Cub asked in disbelief. 

Scar's face turned to worry, "Oh no. Did they at least teach you  _ basic _ mind protection?"

"You mean, how to block Vex from probing?" Cub asked.

"Thank Jens," Scar sighed.

"Why?"

"If you don't know how to do that," Scar said, "the ambient mansion magic will drive you insane in a week."

"How do you know this?" Cub asked, "is the source credible?"

"I read it," Scar replied.

"Read?"

"In a book."

Cub frowned, "I don't think I've seen a book before. I know what it is."

Scar nodded, "They've really removed a lot of your memory. I thought a bit last night about this. You want me to be a good ConVex?"

"Yes?" Cub said, his voice containing a sliver of hesitance.

"I think I am a good ConVex. I'm just not  _ your  _ Vex's ConVex. Don't you think it's not good for me to be here if my home is with my Vex?"

It was logical, but… Cub's Vex told him otherwise. "Maybe they once were your Vex, but my Vex has you now. Once a ConVex, always a ConVex, no matter the Vex masters. You can't just disobey, Scar. It's better to be good. The Vex give us so many wonderful things, I--"

"--Let me cut you off before you tell me more of what the Vex told you to say," Scar interrupted. 

"The Vex didn't tell me to say anything!" 

"You've always, genuinely thought this?"

"As long as I can remember."

"How long?"

"What do you mean?"

"How far back can you remember?" Scar asked.

That… was a hard question to answer. Cub didn't know how old he was. He also didn't have any real way of keeping track of time in these mansions. One of his earlier memories was getting praised by the Vex for thinking correctly. He had been in a dark room, like so many in that mansion. He had been in pain, he remembered seeing his insides on the outside of his body as he was fading away. He couldn't remember what he had done, but all he knew was that it was worthy of punishment. As the Vex around were wondering if they should permanently kill him, Cub had been inside his head. It had been like ripping his mind apart from within as he told himself his truths. That he was nothing without the Vex. That he was weak and hopeless. The Vex gave him a reason to exist. But… How long ago was that? A year? Two years? When had his hair turned gray and began to grow in patches? He didn't know. He felt like that should worry him, but it didn't. It was just another fact. "I don't know."

"I remember back four years," Scar offered, "but my time with the Vex has been longer. You lose time in places like this."

"Exactly," Cub smiled, "it's hard to keep track of the days when you're serving the Vex. Everyday is a new adventure."

"Exploring worlds, finding diamonds, no, that's an adventure," Scar sighed. "You don't know what it's like to feel the wind on your face as you explore the world to find treasures for your Vex."

"But what about sitting down, eating a bit of cake, reflecting," Cub responded, smiling slightly at one of his… rather short list of memories that he enjoyed to think about. Some Vex had offered him cake, and they'd just talked. Something like he and Scar were doing now, but with the Vex. It had been peaceful, him sitting there. He had only ended up eating one slice before his stomach felt like it was about to burst. He'd spent most of the night sitting quietly, listening to the Vex discuss things Cub couldn't understand, being a player. They'd reminded him of that whenever he spoke.

"Sounds boring."

"I'd rather have peace, Scar," Cub replied. "I don't need adventure, I just need what the Vex want."

"And what," Scar asked, "do your Vex want?"

Cub paused. What did his Vex want? He searched for a moment, then replied, with conviction, "They just ask for obedience. It's not much to give."

"But what are you asked to do?"

"Sit there and look pretty most of the time," Cub remarked dryly. His mouth hung open when his brain processed what he had said. It wasn't something bad. Cub found it slightly funny. Not in the Vex way, when Cub was screaming and begging, but just a chuckle. Genuine. 

Scar was grinning wildly, " _ Cub _ , I wouldn't have thought you'd have had it in you to joke like that!"

Cub giggled, "It's technically the truth."

"Put on a face full of makeup, lie there, and smile?"

"Pretty much, but without the makeup or smiling," Cub bantered back. The duo giggled again. The jokes may not have been particularly humourous, but they were to them. Cub didn't remember the last time he felt this happy. The warm smiles, the comfort. Being around Scar was comforting in a way being around the Vex never had been. Scar didn't make remarks to put Cub down, he raised Cub up, even when disagreeing. Cub was happy.

It didn't take a minute for that to change.

_ ConVex, come _

_ Both ConVex!  _

_ Yes, both.  _

_ The new shall be more obedient, ConVex. _

_ Yes. Or it shall regret it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but the next chapter wouldn't flow right if I included it there. If I was better at writing I could probably have made it work, but this is my first completed longfi, so cut me a bit of slack! <-<'


	5. But At Least You Have Beautiful Vex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To continue a poem.

Cub would have ordinarily made this walk in silence, mind running through scenarios, preparing himself to serve his masters. Or maybe worrying, wondering if he'd done something wrong? Scar didn't seem to keep the same quiet vigil as Cub did, nor did he particularly care to hurry. Every door they passed, Scar took a peak in, asking dozens of questions regarding the contents of said room.

"What's that?"

"Have you been in there?"

"Is there a map?"

"What's on that shelf?"

"Have you ever read those books?" Scar asked, pointing at a shelf of old tomes that Cub had never noticed before.

"No," Cub replied, hoping to move on as quickly as they had the other rooms. Scar didn't move quite so quickly. He took a step inside the room. Cub froze. His mind raced, should he get Cub? Would the Vex be angry? They had wanted them, were they going too slow? Scar didn't seem to care about Cub's worries. He took another step into the room, staring at the books. Cub jumped forward, grabbing Scar's arm, and yanked him out of the room. 

"Cub!" Scar protested, ripping his arm back.

"We need to go," Cub insisted, motioning towards the hallway.

"It's not that far."

"You don't know this mansion."

"I'm trying to learn it-"

"-You can't-"

"Cub, I just want to explore-"

"Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe," Cub said in a slight sing-song voice, "doing exactly as the Vex command, and doing it happily!"

"That's…" Scar seemed to struggle for the words to speak.

" _ Action _ is the key, do it immediately, and joy you will receive," Cub's smile was forced as he continued quoting the nursery rhyme style song.

"Cub, stop."

"Obedience is the very best way, to show that you believe," Cub finished.

Scar shuddered. "I hate that song."

"Did your Vex teach it to you?"

"Well, no," Scar admitted.

"Then how can you hate it? Is my singing really that bad," Cub cracked, the joke not piercing the thick atmosphere surrounding Scar.

"Just… it's all about them. Doing what they want. Do you have anything you want to do? Any places you want to explore?" Scar asked.

"The hallways. On the way to where the Vex want us to be. So that we don't get in trouble. The Vex are nice and kind, why is obeying them so hard for you?" Cub asked.

"Cub," Scar spoke gently. Cub sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Please let's just go."

Scar looked away, "...Okay."

The rest of the walk was an eerie silence between the two parties. Cub closed his eyes, trying to get lost in his thoughts like he usually did, but Scar's shuffling behind him was impossible to ignore. The hallways were so much longer when he couldn't zone out, when he had to keep himself in the moment. The tension was thick. Cub didn't like it. He needed to be Scar's friend. He wanted to be Scar's friend. He wanted a friend. He didn't deserve a friend or anything. Scar was so different from Cub. Was everyone so different? Was Cub-

Scar's cough dropped Cub's train of thought. He inhaled, and exhaled, trying to refind the inner peace he'd relied upon for so long. Why couldn't he find it? He looked behind himself to Scar. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're fine Cub."

"I didn't mean to make you mad."

Scar sighed, "I wasn't mad. I just want to explore."

"But we don't have  _ time, _ Scar."

"They didn't say it was urgent!"

"That doesn't mean we can waste time, Scar. Like in the song, do it immediately."

"That song is wrong and slightly creepy."

"How?"

"For one thing, it's preaching a message of total obedience."

"Total obedience is important when you're a ConVex. Do you disobey your Vex?"

"Well, no," Scar admitted after a moment of hesitation.

"It's just a reminder, then," Cub replied. "I'm a bad ConVex, I needed a lot of reminders of how to act properly. If you behave with your Vex, just… apply that to your new ones."

"They aren't my Vex," Scar stead, steadfast in his loyalty. Cub wondered at this. He'd never really been taught to be loyal to his Vex, just… to the Vex. Yes, he'd been taught how to keep any invading Vex out of his head, but he'd never really thought about having to use it. He only now realized that he hadn't ever seen more than the top layer of Scar's mind. He could pick up emotions if he tried, but any part deeper was hidden. Could the Vex even find Scar's deeper thoughts? When Cub shielded, it was obvious. His mind was like a solid fortress against any mental peerings. Scar's shield was so subtle, Cub hadn't realized Scar was shielding until now. 

That was something for him to think about later, "I know they aren't your Vex," Cub said with a slight plea in his tone, "but could you try to obey them like they were? Just for a bit? Maybe you'll enjoy it."

Scar bit his lip in thought, "I can't make promises," he said slowly, "but I'll try. For you."

Cub smiled softly, "Thank you."

.

They were here, where the Vex had wanted them. The room was dark oak, like everywhere else in the mansion. Unlike the rest of the mansion, this room had a pristine white carpet that made Cub freeze in his tracks. Scar bumped into Cub, jostling them both. Cub took a step forward to catch himself. Scar's breath was on the back of Cub's head, and his voice carried swift but quiet. "Doing alright?"

"Just…" Cub breathed out, visions of his own suffering on top of the pristine white rug blurring his vision. He swallowed, trying to ground himself back in the moment. Whatever the Vex wanted was what he wanted. Pain was discipline, and discipline was good, and punishment was discipline, and Cub was going to be fine. He was the blank slate, but Scar had carved his name in him. "Do as the Vex say Scar. I believe in you."

The duo entered the room. The lights faded slightly as they did, Vex dancing around and inspecting the duo. Cub stood firm in the center of the room, Scar almost crouching behind him. Their hands met, and Cub squeezed Scar's tightly. No matter what happened next, Cub would do his best to help Scar. He ignored the white carpet and all its symbolism to focus on the Vex encircling the duo. He took a breath, and offered up his mind for the Vex to inspect.

_ Tardy. _

_ Bad ConVex. Both should be punished. _

_ It was New that delayed. It should be punished. _

_ Old was supposed to help! _

_ Leniency for New. It knows nothing.  _

_ ConVex are more trouble than they're worth. _

_ Awful. _

_ Foolish. _

_ The fear is good. More fear. _

_ New needs to know obedience! _

Cub's mind was sorted through as the Vex. He'd long learned to relax and make this easy, to keep his mind blank. Scar didn’t. Cub heard the Vex’s dissatisfaction with what they were scraping off the surface of Scar’s mind. He ignored that, not letting his mind dwell on Scar’s. Every thought he had about Scar hiding his mind from the Vex was buried and forgotten. Cub was very good at forgetting things not beneficial to the Vex. Scar must just be shallow, to have little to no significant items in his mindscape for the Vex to find. Or perhaps his old Vex would remove anything beyond Scar’s surface personality, giving no depth to the man. The Vex deliberated on their ideas, ignoring the acknowledgement that they were Cub’s contributions. ConVex thoughts weren’t worth much. Any idea they had was just what the Vex were thinking, and it was an accident that it ended up in the ConVex’s mind.

Scar was sobbing. It wasn’t a loud sob, but Cub could hear it in his ear. It hurt to have the Vex dig through your mind, especially if you had yet to learn how to just let go. Cub was still holding Scar’s hand. He squeezed the palm tightly, until Scar’s sniffles and sobs became but another memory to be forgotten. Scar’s arms wrapped around and squeezed Cub tightly. His mind offered the word of ‘hug’ to describe this close feeling. He reciprocated the hug, gently rubbing Scar’s back to comfort him. Cub could feel some of Scar’s pain through the Vex’s connection. “Just calm down,” Cub whispered, “just let it happen. It’ll be easier.”

Scar’s mental struggling stopped a bit as he yielded what the Vex had discovered. They seemed satisfied with Scar’s surface memories, already having dismissed Scar having any depth to him beyond that. Scar was just a ConVex, just a player. His struggles in his mind were meaningless compared to the Vex’s power. Even if Scar wasn’t entirely showing himself… Cub dismissed and forgot the thought as soon as it came. He filled his mind with knowledge of the Vex’s power, their might, how good it was to be part of their hivemind. Cub shivered under the wave of approval given by the Vex towards his correct thoughts.

“Think of the Vex,” Cub whispered, “think of how much good they do. Just let this happen. Let yourself be a part of them.”

“It’s them, not us,” Scar’s breath choked.

“They’re more powerful,” Cub agreed, “we are theirs. Think about them, their strength, how much they’ve done for us.”

Scar cried in pain. Cub’s hold became tighter. Scar was still resisting, despite Cub’s reassurance. How could Cub convince Scar to let this happen before the Vex grew tired of mind games? He thought about obedience, and he shared the thought with Scar instinctually. He poked of Scar’s mind, trying to convince him.

“Please--” Scar sobbed, “please don’t. I don’t…”

“Give in,” the Vex said through Cub’s body, Cub’s voice one of many that echoed through the air itself onto Scar. Scar’s hands covered his ears, but the assault wasn’t verbal. Thus was Scar left, and his eyes spoke of a dilemma. Give up his secrets, or fall in line. Cub prayed Scar would just obey, that the pain would stop for Scar. In that moment, Cub felt like he was the worst friend in the world. He could speak up, take the attention off of Scar and protect him. But he didn’t. He just watched Scar bat away the hands of the Vex that tried to take his mind away. He watched and did nothing, and told himself the Vex wouldn’t let him. 

The Vex weren’t stopping him. Cub wasn’t chained, his mind was still in the moment. His body was his own. There was no reason he couldn’t do something. He didn’t do anything. Scar collapsed and Cub stood still, staring at Scar like he was in third person, above with the chuckling Vex watching the scene. Scar crawled to Cub and Cub stood still, Scar curling up with Cub, asking him to protect him. Cub felt his hand move as he began rubbing Scar’s back, providing a small amount of comfort in the mental Nether that Scar was facing. A Vex swooped down, taking their sword and slicing open Scar’s neck, from the right of the jaw to the side of the breast.

Scar screamed. Cub cried. The Vex laughed. 

Scar broke.

A beat of silence as the Vex finally invaded the areas Scar had been hiding from them. The secrets Cub caught glimpses of, worlds terraformed and built, searches for diamonds, deals with the Vex who’d taken Scar. They were tossed around like a potato fresh from the oven, shared and mocked. Scar was still, too still, in Cub’s arms as the mental verbal assault wormed its way into Scar’s being. Scar’s gaze was vacant. Cub stared into those eyes. Scar reached and tapped a glowing finger on Cub’s forehead.

Scar’s memories were like oil, flowing into Cub’s water. They were contained, but Cub knew. Scar was still hiding from the Vex, with whatever strange powers his Vex had taught him. He mixed the oil and water, and to a Vex, Cub’s mind was the same lake of obedience. Cub and Scar knew that wasn’t true. They could see the oil, hydrophobic, but covered by a sea. Cub pushed his memory of this deeper down. Nothing had happened. Scar wasn’t hiding anything, and certainly not hiding within Cub. That was impossible, ConVex couldn’t do serious Vex magic, just basic shields and maybe a levitation spell if they were lucky. No ConVex could play with someone else’s mind  ~~ but Scar did. ~~

Scar’s blood stained the white carpet. The wound bled more than Cub remembered seeing on his own wounds. He had nothing to dress it with. When Cub moved a hand to apply pressure to the wound, the Vex sent feelings of scolding. Cub froze in place, then retracted his hand. Scar’s blood stained everything with its sickening redness. Cub never minded his own blood, too focused in on the pain, but he now knew that others' blood was worse. It felt worse, seeing this happen to Scar, even when it had all happened to him before. 

“Scar?” Cub dared to whisper, barely even distinct from a breath.

“Cub,” Scar sighed and smiled. The Vex danced above them, pleased with their work.

“See,” Cub smiled back, lighthearted voice trying to shift the mood, “it’s not so bad.”

“Yeah,” Scar replied. He closed his eyes and shuffled, like he was trying to find an inner peace to all this, to sleep through the pain, “Yeah, that wasn’t so bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only about 27 more to go.


	6. Lying Is Unbecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil as plain as the scar on his face.

The duo stayed in the room for a few days after. The Vex departed after warning Cub not to help Scar with his wound. They wanted it to scar, to be a reminder of what had happened. Anyone who met Scar after would assume that his name came from the large wound. It was impossible to hide. Scar spent the first of the days sleeping while Cub worried over his friend. The next ones were recovery. Scar kept tracing the wound idly with his finger, rubbing the disfiguring cut. Cub had reprimanded Scar, the wound could have easily reopened. When it didn’t, Scar suggested that the Vex had healed it enough to close the wound, and no more. A deathly ill ConVex was worth nothing, after all. They wanted it to scar, not infect. At least, that’s what Cub assumed. He was good at guessing the minds of the Vex.

Scar emerged from the room a changed man. He didn’t protest when the Vex called, he didn’t argue or talk back like he had that first day. He barely even bantered with Cub. It was like Scar had changed. Cub wanted to enjoy it. Wasn’t that all he had asked for, in the end, for Scar to be an obedient servant to his Vex masters? Why did it hurt so much to see Scar like this, empty and hollow. The Vex’s vessel, and little more. What Cub would give to hear another question like Scar had asked that first day. He should have humored Scar more, and he would have gotten punished. He shouldn’t have suggested that he help break Scar that first day, but Scar would have broken anyway, right? Or was it that he broke to protect Cub? Or would those memories Cub didn’t acknowledge have vanished instead of been protected had Cub not been there? Scar had been there for a week and Cub already secretly put him higher than the Vex in his world.

At first, the days were longer, with every Vex searching and taking Scar, leaving Cub much time alone with his thoughts to reflect on what he should have done differently. No one cared about Cub, the Old ConVex, all properly broken and obedient. Scar made mistakes they got to punish. Scar still protested in his body if not his mind. Scar got lost every day, and always claimed to be looking for the bathroom. Silly ConVex who didn’t know there was no bathroom in a Vex mansion. 

Cub overheard a conversation between two Vex, a few days in. They’d called Cub a ConVex fitter for an old mansion with dozens of ConVex being worked to death for the guests the old mansion Vex hosted, proudful pillagers and piglin kings the Vex sometimes allied with. The two Vex had joked about selling Cub off for the privilege of seeing him killed over and over again, and using the diamonds they receive to buy another unbroken player to have fun with. Cub found himself… scared. Dying was painful, even if he could always remember waking up again in bed afterwards. There was so much fear when he felt himself unable to breath, floating right above his body. He could remember the feeling, like seeing random players, strangers he felt he should know, calling for him to join them in permadeath. Cub had tried to join them a few times. It never worked. The Vex held the strings to his code, to his respawn. He’d never achieve the state of permadeath, even if he wanted.

So he was lost and worried with Scar still sleeping in his bed. He felt he should be selfish and take it back, but… Scar looked peaceful while he was asleep. His eyes closed, his breath slow and shallow. Scar looked content with the world as he hugged his hat. The scar that disfigured him was turning a darker shade of red, healing slowly. Cub should have done something to stop the Vex. He was a bad ConVex, and a terrible friend. He could have done something, anything, but it was all about him. It was always about Cub, never Scar. He was so self-centered and selfish. Letting Scar have the bed didn’t dissolve that. Cub choked back an unexpected sob. He held his breath, hoping he hadn’t woken up Scar.

Scar’s eyes blinked open. Cub looked away, pretending he hadn’t just been looking at Scar. They both knew the truth. Scar shuffled and sat up, scooting over on the bed to make room for Cub. “Want to sit?”

Cub obliged, and joined Scar on the bed. It creaked in protest under the combined weight, though both Cub and Scar were skinny. Boh were silent.

“What have you been doing?” Scar asked.

“Whatever the Vex tell me to do,” Cub answered.

“What have the Vex told you to do?”

“Nothing,” Cub admitted. 

Scar looked away. Cub was such a loser even Scar didn’t want to look at him. “I,” Scar‘s voice cracked, “I wish I could say the same.”

“Scar,” Cub began.

“No, no. I’ve been a good ConVex like they say. I just wish I knew why they hurt me, sometimes. That’s all.”

“Because we’re ConVex. They find it fun to hear us scream.”

“That’s not okay.”

“We’re ConVex. It’s not about us, it’s about the Vex.”

“What would you say if we left, Cub?” Scar asked.

“Left?” Cub asked.

“If I found the portal home, would you go with me?”

Cub’s feet went cold with dread. “This is my home—“ he tried.

“I mean the Overworld. Where players come from,” Scar spoke treacherously and Cub knew. At that moment he knew.

Scar’s obedience was a lie. He was a better manipulator than people realized. He had somehow hidden this from the Vex. Cub could...n’t. The Vex were his home, but Scar was part of that. He didn’t want to leave behind either. But, in the end, he was loyal to the Vex. So while he knew it wasn’t true, he said to Scar, “I would not.”

“Okay,” said Scar.

“I… I don’t want you to leave.”

“Cub,” Scar took Cub’s hand, “I promise I will never leave you behind. No matter what.”

“You don’t get a choice in that. It’s what the Vex want, no what we want.”

“We have Vex in our title.”

“You know it’s not the same.”

“Let me pretend, Cub.”

And Cub did. He pretended it was him and Scar and there was no pain. But the Vex were still there. They were always there. Scar may be something without the Vex, but Cub was nothing without the Vex, and now he knew Scar. He needed them both. “I love you.”

Scar smiled, his eyes far away yet somehow focused on Cub anyway, “I love you too.”

““Good night Scar.”

“Good night Cub.”

.

How long had he been standing there? He didn't know. He didn't know what this was, why the air felt so thick and hard to breath. He didn't know what the blocks he was carefully placing down were. It was all numb and empty. He opened his eyes, and was bombarded by the greenest place he had ever seen. The ground was covered in a slightly damp, fur-like green substance his brain helpfully called 'grass'. He didn't know where he had seen this… plant? Yes, plant, before. It certainly wasn't anywhere in his mansion. Which means wherever he was, he wasn't in his mansion. For some reason, this didn't scare him. It almost felt like a relief, to be here in this grassy plain. Wherever he was felt vaguely familiar. Like it was something he should know.

He took a step forward, wondering why his feet felt cramped. Walking didn't feel quite right, not on his feet. Each step was weighted. Looking down identified the problem. His feet were enclosed in something the Vex had never offered him, and therefore he couldn't ever recall wearing. A pair of leather boots, with golden buckles, protected and warmed his feet. It also called attention to the pants he was wearing, beige pants that all felt so familiar, yet also so uncomfortable. He would prefer a longer coat, maybe something white. The shirt was cut lower than he preferred too. It didn't matter much, but it felt  _ off. _ Everything felt off here.

The trees looked weird, like someone had forced them to grow in these unique patterns that contrasted the basic tree shape he knew. It was rather beautiful despite the weirdness. He walked up and admired the talent that must have gone into the tree, from the blemishless bark to the grafted branches from a variety of trees, it crafted a beautiful picture. It almost felt like his, the strangest part of this whole affair. He’d never been interested in botany, and now this tree? Whatever this was, he didn’t know. 

That should worry him, not being able to tell what was his and what wasn’t. Yet, he felt used to it. Memories were fickle things and he had such gaps in his, whatever and wherever he was didn’t matter. He wished to go back to the mansion and its comfortable familiarity. Why were his legs not cooperating then? Why was he continuing onward, away from the tree and down a path his legs knew, yet he didn’t. The hat on his head blocked the rising sun. Now that he noticed the hat, he was also startled to find hair. He didn’t have hair. Where was he? Who was he? He just wanted to Vex  _ where were the Vex he didn’t understand he just- _

Cub sat up, blinked for a moment, then fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is entirely me expressing salt on religion and it's painfully obvious I feel.


	7. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Where are you?_

Scar was already gone when Cub awoke. The bed was neatly folded in, like it was every morning. Cub stood up, washing his face in the water, letting the cool fluid wash away all the muck and all memories of last night. The two had had a normal chat before going to bed. That was what Cub had to know, deep down to his very core. There was nothing for Cub to be concerned with on this day. As long as he obeyed the Vex to his fullest extent, but the Vex hadn't given him anything to do again. Sure they sometimes spent days without acknowledging him, but they had never let him be for a week. It just made what the two Vex had said make more sense. Cub was old news compared to Scar, and the Vex had forgotten about him. No, they still knew Cub. They knew him as that worthless ConVex they'd bought already broken to have as a status symbol. That's all ConVex truly were, in the end. A way for the Vex to show they could… not take care of, but own a player. 

Cub shoved a raggedy tunic underneath the water stream, cleaning it off. He focused his attention on scrubbing off the dirt and blood stains. They wouldn't truly come off, but they would fade. Things faded after a while. He could count many stains on his garments, yet he only really remembered where a few came from. There was a gash Cub had repaired from when a Vex had stabbed him. They watched him bleed without speaking a word, just enjoying Cub's squirms and gasps. They'd healed the wound afterwards, and the only scars left behind were in the fabric, and Cub's mind. Then there was a blood spatter on the bottom, where Cub's leg was carved off, before he reawakened in his bed thanks to respawn. He thought he may have done something wrong. as he could remember it being a punishment, he just couldn't remember what the punishment had been for. He could go over the garment's stains and tears all day, but for now he just let it soak. Tonight, he'd squeeze the water out and hang it up to dry overnight, so that he could wear it in the morning.

Cub looked around the room for any more tasks he could do. The bed was made, the floors were clean, and everything was in its place. Cub stepped out into the hallway quietly, eye peeled for any Vex who might appear. None were in sight. There were red blood stains on the dark oak floor. Cub began walking to grab a rag from a nearby closet. Sure, the Vex would clean it up with a snap of their magic in a few weeks if they stumbled upon it, but Cub could do it now and ignore the world. Scar must have made these marks coming to the room last night. He had done a good job of hiding the blood. The Vex must have healed the wounds, but not cleaned Scar off. Cub took a bucket of water with the rag from the small storage closet, and began walking back. Vex mansions were so big, it was far from a quick jaunt, but Cub knew the path well, there and back. He always liked to keep the space near the room he slept in clear and pristine. It was like a small haven to drag himself back towards each day.

When he arrived at the blood marks, he dipped the rag in water and began to clear it up. The blood had dried slightly, but some harsh scrubbing managed to slowly wear down the stain. He moved onto the next major spot, wiping down the small bits in between as he formed a sort-of rhythm to the task. Scrubbing the floors wasn't very interesting, but it took enough focus for him to distract himself from the world. He began humming a small tune he'd been taught, letting the music fill his mind and remove the silence. From the corner of his eyes he could see a small group of Vex coming down the hallway. Cub looked down, not wanting to distract the Vex through his gaze. The blood wasn't coming off here. He pressed down harder.

The Vex were talking. Cub could pick up on their conversation, despite it not being directed towards him specifically. 

_ They find players, we break them, get more diamonds. _

_ I don't trust them. They could just take the diamonds and leave. _

_ We would kill them then. It's the easiest way to get players. _

_ Breaking is enjoyable! _

_ Where would we get the diamonds for the initial investment? _

Cub froze as a chill came behind him. A Vex was watching him, closely. Cub kept his focus on the task, doing his best to ignore the figure behind him. The blood chipped off. He didn't need to keep scrubbing that spot. Maybe there was a blemish he didn't see, however. Maybe he had missed a spot. Maybe he just didn't want to disturb the Vex behind him. 

_ Why not sell this ConVex? _

_ They were discussing that, but I thought it was a joke. _

_ We need an example to obtain, however. _

_ It wasn't a great purchase. _

_ That visit didn't even end up happening. It does nothing in the end. _

The Vex behind Scar had left. The voices grew too quiet for Cub to hear. He looked up, and the hallway was empty. Cub shivered. A soft clatter Cub heard behind him. It wasn't a Vex. Cub wasn't surprised when Scar's voice came out, "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Cub asked, not bothering to turn around.

"They don't deserve you."

"How does that mean I shouldn't be okay?" Cub asked, a bit irritated. Scar's steps were louder. Cub turned around, and Scar was crouching beside him. Scar's eyes looked tired. It was only then that Cub realized his own muscles ached. How long had he scrubbed the floor? 

"They don't deserve you," Scar repeated. "Do you need help?"

Cub looked around, processing how far away he was now. He couldn't see the door anymore. He could finish later, if he wanted. "I'm fine."

"Are you ready to go to bed?" 

Cub shrugged, "Sure."

Scar picked up the water bucket. It was almost entirely empty. Scar's smile didn't look entirely genuine, "Let's put this away together. Then we should go to bed. I don't know about you, but it's been a long day for me."

"You don't even know how long it's been," Cub commented, slowly standing up. He stretched as he yawned. His back ached after hours of crouching over the floor. It cracked audible at the peak of his arch. 

"At least a day," Scar commented.

"How often are you supposed to sleep?" Cub asked. He'd come a lot farther then he thought, he realized. They'd been walking for a few minutes, and he still hadn't arrived at the room he slept in.

"I don't know," Scar admitted.

"How do you know it's been a day?"

"Lucky guess."

"How could you confirm your guess then?"

Scar sighed. 

"Sorry," Cub added quickly.

"No, no you're fine Cub. Just a long day."

"Serving the Vex is hard but--"

"--it's rewarding. I know Cub," Scar sighed again. "You got a lot of my blood cleaned up."

"I don't like the sight of blood," Cub admitted.

"It's never a good sight," Scar nodded. He opened the closet for the duo. Cub wondered how Scar knew it was there. He must have been exploring in between the Vex's orders. Cub tossed the rag in gently. Scar set the bucket down without much more care.

"Thank you for helping."

"No problem."

"You didn't have to."

"But I wanted to, Cub," Scar smiled. "And that's enough."

Cub didn't really understand. He decided he was too tired to care. The walk to their room was a quiet one. The floors had already dried. Cub opened the door this time, Scar murmured a thanks. Inside, Cub went to pull out and squeeze the water from his tunic. Scar watched from afar. He only had one set of clothing, unlike Cub. Cub wondered if he should give Scar the outfit, so he could have something clean to wear tomorrow. It felt nice wearing something without caked blood and dirt and stink around it. One of the worst feelings in the world was slipping into a dirty outfit after cleaning yourself off. Scar didn't sit down on the bed. Cub remembered their conversation from last night, vaguely. He'd spent the whole day not letting himself think about it, it was weird remembering something from it. 

"Are you tired, Cub?" Scar asked.

"A bit," Cub smiled. The world was moving in and out of existence. Cub didn't wear shoes, unlike Scar, nor anything he took off, so he sat on the bed in his full day's clothing. Scar was looking at Cub.

"Why don't you lie down?"

"I'll fall asleep, then."

"It's okay for you to fall asleep now," Scar said. "I'll wake you if the Vex need us."

"Okay," Cub said. He laid the blanket over himself. It didn't quite reach his toes, so he adjusted it again, and curled up slightly. He felt like he was drifting in that bed, the ache of the day had worn him down more then he had realized. Cub was genuinely tired. 

"Goodnight Cub," whispered Scar. It felt like he was granting permission for Cub to finally rest. 

"Goodnight Scar," Cub murmured, already nearly asleep.

.

The path was a long one. He had been walking for what felt like hours, and making no progress. He wondered where he had spawned in to be so far from wherever he wanted to go. Where did he want to go? Why did his legs know but not him? Why did everything look so familiar? Why did everything look so not familiar? Why couldn't he re- well, he knew the answer to that last question. He passed by a house, deceivingly simple in its design. Glancing over, he could see trapdoors, a staircase roof, no visible lighting, logs all placed just so, creating a visual masterpiece. Whoever had built this house was talented at building, that was for certain. It, too, had a terraformed surroundings to add to the beauty, with a pond dug out and filled with fish and squids.

Whoever had built this place had carved it out lovingly, even he could see that. It felt like a home. But who's home was it? It felt like his and not his. His home was his mansion, but this felt so familiar, yet so far… He didn't know. He didn't know and for the first time that was scaring him. Who was he? Where was he?

.

Cub's body was being shaken as the hand rudely ripped him from his state of dreams. Scar stood over him, eyes nervously dashing around the room. Cub sat up with a slight yawn, blinking himself awake. It was still dark in the room. "Scar? What--"

A hand on his face shushed him. Scar pulled Cub to his feet, and he followed instinctively. It was too tiring for him to process anything as Scar shoved a tunic over Cub's head, pulling it down. It was tight and warm with the double layers. Cub didn't know if he liked it. He couldn't say so much as a word of protest as Scar finished the look by wrapping a blanket around Cub. Cub grabbed the ends and curled up. He was so tired. Scar was fully dressed already.

"What are you doing?" Cub asked. 

"Don't worry," Scar murmured. Scar's smile allayed no worries. "It's just going to be cold soon, and those garments are thinner than paper." 

"It's not that cold," Cub replied. He couldn't think of anywhere in the mansion it was genuinely cold. Maybe a bit chilly, but nothing that deserved this treatment.

"It will be."

"How do you know?" Cub asked. Scar slung his arm around Cub and squeezed in a hug. Cub leaned into the touch. He was so tired, in a way almost unusual. It didn't help when Scar stroked Cub's forehead with a glowing finger. In fact, Cub just felt even more tired. He stumbled a bit when Scar began moving forward. His feet could hardly keep up with even Scar's small steps.

"Do you trust me Cub?" Scar asked.

"I trust you…" Cub yawned. 

"Just be quiet, then. I'll take the lead for now, okay?"

"Okay."

Cub was guided through the mansion, down the halls, the twists and turns. Besides for his exhaustion, it seemed to be normal. Occasionally, Scar would drag him behind a piece of furniture, covering Cub with his body. He tried to ask why, but found himself shushed again. "Just be quiet, okay?" And Cub would nod in understanding, even though he didn't understand. Where was Scar taking him? Why did it feel so wrong? His stomach was sinking with every step he took. For a moment, he stood still, hesitating. 

Scar was prompt to stroke his forehead again, with the glowing fingers Cub thought he should recognize. He blinked, and the world was muted again. He didn't resist, but just relaxed into Scar's arms. Everything was so blurry, it felt like the world was made of carpet. Layers upon layers of wool warming him up and pushing him down into a state he couldn't even think in. Every time he stumbled, Scar was there. Scar was always there, guiding him like the Vex did. Cub stopped again. The Vex. Where were they? He couldn't feel them. Where were they, where were they? 

"Cub?" Scar's voice whispered. Cub was shaking. He put a hand to his head, trying to soothe the headache he felt coming on.

"Where are they?" Cub's voice croaked.

"Who?" Scar asked. 

Cub was hyperventilating. His breath rose and fell quicker and quicker. "I can't feel them Scar," Cub cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what did I do? Please tell them I won't do it again."

"Cub, no, it's fine," Scar insisted. Cub couldn't see his face through his tears. Everything was so blurry. If Scar's hold hadn't tightened, he would have fallen onto the floor. Scar's fingers rubbed Cub's forehead, slowly and steady in a hypnotic pattern.

"I'm sorry, take me back, I'll be a good ConVex," Cub's voice murmured and died as his world became too quiet. He couldn't feel the Vex, but it didn't matter as his mind fogged up again. 

"Hush Cub," Scar commanded. His eyes were glowing, and so were his veins, all in the distinctive colour of Vex magic. It channeled from Scar into Cub's mind, fuzzing it. It was like a comforting static, or a whitenoise that drowned out any of Cub's concerns, any of his worries. Anything that could identify what was happening as wrong, or let him call for help was inaccessible. It was just the blankness of the world and Scar's guiding hands. He moved forward like a zombie, shuffling and obeying every quiet directive of Scar. He was in such a vulnerable state, and could barely process that. Then again, he could always have been put in this state. He always was this vulnerable, the Vex just didn't care enough to. 

Scar pulled Cub into a room. Cub shivered deeply. It was so cold. The room was in the same style as the rest of the mansion, but that didn't matter. What mattered were the green frames of a portal, a sight Cub had never seen before. A weird, yellowish base with green stones over laid, and glass circles on the top. It was to this portal that Scar guided Cub. Cub took a step back through the fog of his mind as he saw the scariest thing he had ever seen. Somewhere inside him, he knew. The Void. It was so dark, and so  _ cold. _ It pulled Cub towards it, but the sight repelled him. It was so cold, like the deepest chill in his body. 

"I'm scared, Scar," Cub admitted, taking another step away. The Void drained everything. His fingers and toes were blue, not from cold, but from magic. It was seeping out of him. Scar took Cub's hand and squeezed it.

"It's going to be okay Cub," Scar lied. The magic draining, Cub could see it for what it was. A lie. Scar was lying. He needed to get out, he needed the Vex. They cared. The pull of the Void didn't let him leave. He was frozen in this frozen place. He just wanted to leave, but he  _ couldn't _ .

"I… Scar  _ please _ ," Cub begged, and he didn't know what he was begging for. His life? His freewill? What even was his freewill, when Scar's arms wrapped around him and told him everything was okay, but had… but… he couldn't… 

"It's going to be okay," Scar hugged tighter and Cub broke.

He had to believe Scar. He had to. He had to follow Scar up the stairs, up to that portal. He looked down, at the Void and its lights, its chill, and its darkness.

"It's going to be okay."

Scar  _ pushed. _

Cub fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, something is happening.


	8. The Kidnapper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn't. Scar knows it isn't, isn't it?

It was cold and Cub was falling. It was so cold and Cub was crying. His tears turned to ice and burnt his eyes, so he squeezed his eyes shut. The tears didn't stop and his face frosted anyway. It was too cold for him to live, yet he somehow did, in this realm between realms of pure magicless cold.. He didn't understand how he was alive falling aimlessly through the void, never quite certain of the direction he was taking. All he knew was that he was falling. He didn't know which way was up or down, but he was  _ falling _ . The world's stars and lights and deep blackness all combined to form a formless, disorienting place. Cub's shivering was from fear and terror. He could see too much, and not enough. His entire world was a mess and terror and he just wanted out. He needed out. Out of this endless void he was falling in, out of his head. He curled up, hugging his knees. His toes were so cold. There was no magic draining now, just an empty cold inside him. Everything was numb in a bad way. He couldn't comprehend it. It didn't make sense. The void didn't make sense. It hurt to think about, and it didn't make sense.

Nothing really made sense. He was falling through a void and Scar pushed him and the Vex weren't there and he wanted the Vex. He screamed for the Vex and the Void answered, and the Void said nothing, as the Void wasn't the Vex. Chaos was the order of the void. The world was colder and colder. Cub's shiverings stopped. He was out of energy. He fought the void and the void won. He shouldn't have even fought, he had been trained to be submissive and every time he fought it went badly. He tried to fight Scar and Scar just pushed harder. He couldn't fight the void or the Vex and it was too much and he messed up and he couldn't stop and he didn't know what to do and he was breathing so hard and the air was so shallow and everything was bad-

The void shook around him. It sputter and coughed and let Cub go. He tumbled and falled and woke up.

In the middle of a field. But there was no tree.

He had no idea where he might be.

A moment passed and then he could see.

There was Scar sitting beside he.

Scar hugged him and cried and Cub couldn't work up a feeling to be angry. 

But he was.

He had hated the void.

He wanted the Vex.

When he looked for a portal, none was there.

Only trees and grass and ponds and mobs.

Cows and chickens, so Cub cried too. 

This didn't matter for now.

He would find the Vex again. He had to. He would listen to Scar, he would hide like Scar did from the Vex, but when the moment came, he  _ will _ find his home again. 

The Vex may hurt him, but that was because he was worthless compared to them.

Scar's touch didn't feel quite so comforting.

"Where are we Scar?" Cub asked, his voice quivering even as he knew the answer.

"The Overworld. We're free," Scar laughed. He leapt up, laughing even harder, a sound so joyfully horrific to Cub. The Overworld. That… was the Vex Mansion even located in the Overworld? How would he find them if they weren't even in the same dimensions. 

Scar seemed to take notice of his lack of jubilee. "What's wrong Cub?"

_ You took me away from them, _ Cub thought. He remained silent, choosing instead to stare at the ground. Grass felt so similar, yet so different. There was a bit of prick to the green. It smelled… good. Refreshing even, on the dry dirt. 

"It's overwhelming, isn't it?" Scar said, his voice taking on a tone to beg for Cub's sympathy. "When I first came to the Overworld after my Vex took me, I was crying for hours."

Scar was weak. He was never a servant of the Vex. He was just a person who learned to act like a ConVex. He never truly knew the happiness that came with Vex servitude. Before, that had just made Cub sad. Now? He was angry. Extremely angry. Scar had kidnapped him, like he claimed the Vex did, pushed him into a portal, and trapped him in this Overworld biome. This place that was filled with false joys like the smell of grass and the texture of dirt. They were so deceptively beautiful. The only true beauty was a Vex Mansion, and its dark oak hall and red carpets. Cub wouldn't keep looking. He needed to focus on the Vex, and on getting away from Scar. Scar had poisoned his mind with lies. Cub wouldn't let him continue.

"I love the dirt the most," Scar continued, "You can shape it and move it to create amazingly beautiful patterns. It's sculpture, but with the entire world."

“I like sculpture,” Cub said quietly, thinking of how he compared his malleable mind to shaping a clay pot. Maybe it was more like terraforming then. After all, dirt was worthless and so was Cub. 

“Did you do pottery?” Scar asked. He had grabbed a handful of dirt and was shifting it in his hands, contentedly feeling the rough, wet texture.

“I was too busy to need to pass my time with pottery,” Cub answered. 

“What part of sculpture do you like?” Scar prompted. 

Cub thought of how to answer this question in a proper and Vex-honoring way. “I enjoy them molding my mind to fit properly in with what they want.”

“No, Cub,” Scar said. Scar also wanted Cub’s mind, his devotion. He was just a player, not a Vex. At this point, the lowest of Vex Mansions could wish to take him and he would go. He just needed to get away, somehow. Scar continued, oblivious to Cub’s thoughts, “That’s not okay.”

“And you kidnapping me was?” The words slipped out of Cub’s mouth before he could stop them. He was internally horrified. Scar was powerful compared to Cub. Scar knew how to steal and channel the Vex’s magic. If Scar decided Cub was too much trouble, he could paralyze Cub’s mind and leave him unable to escape back to a mansion. 

“I didn’t kidnap you,” Scar defended, “I just-”

“Took me and mind controlled me so I couldn’t resist. If you hate the Vex for that so much, why do it to me?”

“I’m  _ fine _ with the Vex doing that!” Scar hissed, his eyes glowing blue in anger, “I just don’t like getting kidnapped by some low-ranking Vex mansion who likes to abuse its ConVex.”

“I’m not abused,” Cub spat back. “You’re just confused about reality.”

“Reality? I’m not the one who sits back and watches someone get cut open and brainwashed.”

“Didn’t your Vex do the same to you?”

“No, well yes, but,” Scar struggled to find the words, “it doesn’t matter. They don’t do that to me how your Vex did.”

“Which means mine are better for being able to properly take care of their ConVex.”

“ _ Enough _ ,” Scar screeched. His voice boomed with Vex magic behind every word. Cub could somehow see the wave of sound that emerged. It rattled the nearby trees. Scar stood up, towering over the cowering Cub as he continued, “ _ I will not let you go back. We are going home. That’s final. _ ”

Cub didn’t retort. He hung his head low, shivering in the sudden performance. He could still think. Scar had messed with his voice, he hadn’t messed with Cub’s mind. Not yet. He needed to escape soon though. Every moment he stayed with Scar, the likelihood of him doing so increased. It wasn’t a question of if, but when. Scar’s horrified expression served as no comfort. Scar touched Cub’s shoulder. He wanted to move away, but he couldn’t. Obey for now, just like Scar did. Then, bolt when the time came. Maybe find a pillager patrol, some of them had connections to mansions. He vaguely remembered them disliking players, but if he was compliant enough, maybe they would take him to their mansion. From there, he could contact the Vex and submit himself to them, as well as warn them of the danger of Scar. 

Cub had been trained to follow any mansion. It made him easy to sell, at the cost of Scar’s maniac loyalty. However, any proper enough ConVex knew not to rebel against a Vex. Loyalty to the mansion only went as far as the mansion could protect a ConVex. After all, if two fought and yours fell, most beings wouldn't want to be permakilled, ConVex included. Yet, loyalty wasn't the issue with Scar. It was a confusing quality, but it wouldn't be seen as too abnormal. The real issue was him  _ stealing  _ from the Vex. That would worry any Vex mansion protecting their horde. Not to mention the magic. However, Cub didn't think the magic was an issue. Scar had certainly more magical training then Cub had ever heard of, but he had never heard of, or even had, much. Just how to protect his mind.

_ Just how to protect his mind _ . He… he had a chance. If he put up the basic barriers he'd been taught, if Scar couldn't break them down, at least his mind would be his own. Any plans of escape would be hidden, any thoughts against Scar. Cub didn’t know how skilled he was at this, but if he did his best, maybe he’d be able to get home someday. 

He just hoped he would remember where that home was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making this endnote to say I was born a few years ago today. Give me your birthday wishes, I crave them like Pinkie craves world domination.


	9. A Lack of Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And softly he's repeating...

Scar didn’t seem to notice or acknowledge the barriers Cub focused on. The man was holding Cub’s hand tightly, forbidding any hope of escape as they began marching towards a place Cub didn’t know. Scar had called it ‘zero, zero,’ the ‘center of the world’. He had a compass calibrated to point towards it. Scar was rather talkative while walking past the miles of oak trees and ponds that made up the biome. Every rock reminded Scar of another adventure he had to share with Cub. Most were irrelevant, practically fantasies, but others Cub could glean information on. Things such as Scar’s apparent talent in healing magic, while being less good at offensive magic. If it weren’t for Cub never holding up any mind shielding, Scar claimed, he wouldn’t have been able to knock Cub out. While he could be hiding something, Cub clung to that thread of hope that Scar wasn’t lying and that all this information could serve a purpose someday. 

Scar didn’t usually talk about his experience with the Vex beyond the magic he possessed. The few times he did, his voice and demeanor changed. Instead of a bright, cheerful young man, Scar took on a more serious and respectful manner, but only in reference to his own Vex. Other Vex Mansions were met with derision and a taste of mockery for being ‘lesser than a ConVex’. Cub bit back a retort when Scar began calling  _ his  _ mansion 'over reliant on physical punishment’ and ‘lacking subtlety’. Cub remained silent, choosing instead to focus on a bird in the distance, one he thought he could recall as being a ‘chicken’. It clucked happily and carelessly, unaware of any danger from the creature lurking in the bushes nearby. A small, furred animal with pointed ears and hackles raised was slowly crawling towards the chicken with hungry eyes. A moment of preparation, and the cat leapt, one quick bite to the neck killing the helpless prey. The cat meowed in victory, before beginning to feast on the chicken’s corpse. 

“It’s a kitty, Cub!” Scar exclaimed, rushing over to the cat. It hissed at Scar as he came closer. Scar knelt down, cooing happily at the angry animal. Cub felt a twinge of empathy towards the creature. It just wished to be left alone, but Scar wouldn’t leave it alone. Just like how he didn’t leave Cub alone. Cub realized that Scar wasn’t looking at him, he was too distracted by the cat. What if Cub bolted now? Would Scar notice? The cat purred. Cub inhaled sharply, somehow, Scar was petting the cat. He was slowly scratching behind the cat’s ears, leading the animal to purr happily. It was odd to Cub, when moments before he had seen the anger of the cat, just to be replaced by weakness in Scar’s presence. “Would you like to pet the kitty Cub?”

Cub blinked, looking down at the orange tabby cat that was sniffed curiously in Cub’s direction. He took a cautious step forward, waiting for the cat to run away from him. It stared down his steps as he slowly inched closer and closer, before kneeling besides Scar and looking hesitantly over to the man. Scar mimed a movement of tracing down the cat’s fur. Cub copied it with a shaking hand, starting from the cat’s head and running a few fingers down its back. The cat’s fur was the strangest texture that Cub had ever felt. It was a soft experience that almost comforted and calmed Cub. When the cat arched its back to meet Cub’s hand, it warmed Cub’s soul. This animal purring over the corpse of the chicken, was beautiful. For a moment, it was the cat and Cub, comforting each other through touch.

“See Cub, it likes you,” Scar’s voice came encouragingly. Cub chuckled slightly. The cat stretched, shoving its butt in Cub’s face. It then curled up, tail twitching, right beside Cub. “Don’t touch it anymore, the tail means it’s done with petting time.”

Cub decided to trust the animal expert. He kept sitting and watching the cat as it enjoyed a chicken feast. It ripped up chunks of meat, barely chewing before it swallowed. It was a predator, but a small one. Cub didn’t want to meet a predator of a size that would hunt  _ him _ . 

“You know, with the cat here, a village might be nearby,” Scar suggested casually. “If we find one, we could sleep in warmth instead of outside.”

“That would be nice,” Cub agreed. The idea of night was something that intrigued Cub. The world had been getting darker all day after it had reached a peak brightness. If night meant darkness, it meant that Cub would be free to escape. After all, nothing came out at night, and it would be hard for Scar to find Cub if he fled at night. Then… Cub didn’t quite know where exactly he would go. Anywhere was better than with Scar, right? His mental shielding was as strong as it had been when he set it up, why did he feel less like he wanted to go? 

“We’d also be able to find some better clothing for you,” Scar continued, “I don’t have anything much to trade, but if someone in the village needs healing, maybe I could ask for clothes in exchange.”

“You sell your magic?” Cub asked.

Scar nodded. “Most beings don’t have much magic. It makes sense to exchange it for goods we need, right?”

Cub was curious, “Is that how the Vex make their wealth?”

“Some mansions do,” Scar explained, “through things like barters. My mansion does that, but they also have me go searching for riches in other worlds. That’s why I’m allowed out.”

“What about my mansion?”

“From what I observed, they used magic directly to find diamonds.”

“How do you know?”

“I found a room with a lot of gold and iron.”

“I’ve been there,” Cub said, reflecting on the stockpile of metals he had found one day. “How can you tell from that?”

“Vex don’t usually accept iron for services. If a mansion has a lot, they probably mine a lot,” Scar said. “I’m just surprised they’ve never sent you down to mine for them.”

“I guess they just didn’t want me in the Overworld.”

“That could be a reason,” Scar thought. “I’ve been told a lot of things by my Vex, and I’ve visited quite a few mansions.”

“I’ve only been in the mansion that took me originally, and my current one. I just heard things from them discussing how ConVex are supposed to act.”

“They’re wrong, you know.”

“What?”

“The whole ‘ConVex need to act in this manner’. They’re wrong.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I’ve never met a mansion that treated its Vex in the same way as another mansion. Some use them as disposable servants, some as pets, some as little more then things to torture when bored, but no ConVex I’ve met has acted the same way, and no Vex mansion has been the same.”

Cub deliberated, “Like how my first mansion had different expectations then the second.”

“Exactly!” Scar exclaimed with a bright smile. Smiles seemed to come easy to the man. He took Cub’s hand and raised the two to their feet. Scar looked into the distance for a moment, squinteing to something afar. “There! There’s the village.”

Scar began walking, and Cub followed. He glanced behind him at the bones of the chicken and the now sleeping cat. He hoped it would get enough to eat. He may have known the creature for minutes, but it had already taken his heart.

.

The sun was struggling to stay above the horizon when Scar led Cub into the village. Villagers were standing around, chattering and gossiping to each other. They fell silent as Cub and Scar approached, peeking curiously at the duo. Scar bid a friendly hello to the few, and they visibly relaxed, going back to chattering. Cub felt a bit confused at how seemingly trusting the villagers were. That was, until he saw why they had nothing to fear. Near the edge of the village, a giant iron beast was lumbering around, glaring at the village’s edge. Its iron arms caused Cub to shiver in slight fear. It turned around and stared at Cub with hollow red eyes. He shrunk under its weight and kept close to Scar, who was slowly discussing things with the villagers. His hands emphasized and mimed every word.

“Bed,” Scar said simply, “Can we have bed for the night?”

The villager made a motion of sleeping.

Scar nodded in reply.

The villager nodded back. 

Scar placed up two fingers and pointed at himself and Cub. 

The villager replied by holding out an emerald, a question in its eyes.

Scar shook his head, “No money.”

The villager and its friends grumbled amongst themselves.

Scar bit his lip. He held out a hand, closed his eyes, and made a small light emit from his hand. Cub’s gaze was transfixed on the glow, in awe of Scar’s magical prowess. The light was pure Vex Magic, channeled to one area. 

The villagers humed in surprise. They chattered more, before nodding at Scar. One clothed in an apron and long robes pushed its way to the front of the group. It held out a pickaxe, and placed it in Scar’s hands. It pointed to the pickaxe head. 

Scar closed his eyes and exhaled. He rubbed his fingers on the pickaxe, light running down his veins and into the tool. The tool glowed bright and villagers covered their eyes for a moment as the light became unbearable, Cub couldn’t see anything besides blue light. It flashed for but a moment before the brightness faded, leaving a pickaxe that emitted light around as bright as a torch.The villagers clambered in amazement. Cub himself shot a glance at Scar, who looked tired, but proud. How did he do that?

The blacksmith grunted in approval. A second villager pushed its way to the front, reached out a hand, and beckoned Scar to come forward. Scar took Cub's hand and led him to follow the villager. Cub dashed his eyes around taking in all the sites. Villagers were talking beneath the lights of torches as the sun began fading. A few went inside, but a few more stuck around outside, relaxing in the coolness. Cub shivered slightly, aware of his garments' limited protection against the chill. Two layers of thin cloth and a small blanket didn't do much against the slightly damp cool air. Cub looked up and saw the moon.

The moon was so beautiful that Cub paused in his walking. It was slightly clouded, shrouded in mystery, yet its brightness gave off light. It was a reflection of the sun and so much more beautiful for it. How did Cub know that? It was something he knew in his heart, some common piece of knowledge, but he had no memory of ever hearing or learning that tidbit. He couldn't even remember seeing the moon, yet he remembered it dearly. It felt like an old friend that he knew so well. Each of the soft grays and cool white shades that decorated its surface Cub traced with a sort of familiarity. What was it about the sky in the night that was so much more beautiful than the day? Was it the stars that glowed from so far away so softly, the feeling of so much yet so little? The worlds beyond that lay upon those stars were unreachable to Cub and they always would be. He couldn't quite comprehend it. Space, a friend through the loneliness of expansion. Would he miss this when he reached a mansion he could call home, with their plain roofs and unending hallways? He had only seen the night sky for moments, but he already knew he loved it. 

"Aren't you cold Cub?" Scar asked, breaking Cub out of his reflective state.

"What?"

"I talked to the villagers about getting some old robes for you tomorrow. It gets cold out here."

Cub knew that. The way the air moved chilled him to the bone, and it was only getting colder. Would it be worth it to wait another night then? If Scar was going to get him clothing to hold out against the overworld's climate, would it be better for him to wait? However, what was going to be the enticement tomorrow for Cub to stay? While Scar took him farther and farther away from the Vex and civilization, every concept of tomorrow would be pushed further and further back. Cub hated to admit it, but already the overworld was feeling like a place he didn't want to leave. It felt like home, somehow. A place without quite so much pain and anxiety like the Vex mansions offered, but a breath of literal fresh air. If he stayed too much longer, all of the charms of the Overworld would trap him there. How did Scar go back to a Vex mansion after spending weeks in this place?

Knowing what he was going to be leaving behind, how could Cub persuade himself to go back?

He had to. He was a good ConVex. The Vex had taught him well, even if they'd never trained him for this scenario. He had to consider what they would wish for him to do. They would want him to return, by any means necessary. What he 'wanted' didn't matter. He had to get back. The Vex didn't need him, but he needed the Vex. So, when Scar guided Scar into the doorway, he noted it did not have a lock. He remembered every step it took to get to the door. When he saw the bed he was expected to sleep in, Cub knew how many steps he could take and how quiet he would have to be to make sure he could leave tonight.

Scar plopped on the bed and rubbed his face in the thick woolen blankets. "Villagers always make the  _ best _ items. It's so warm and thick!"

Cub felt his bed and found himself agreeing. It was comfortable. Maybe he could take it with him when he left tonight. The sheets, not the bed. Cub didn't know how he could carry a whole bed by himself, that would be silly. Cub took a breath to calm his jittering mind. He didn't want to go. He had to though. He was a good ConVex unlike Scar. He had a plan and he would follow through. 

"I miss having clothes to change into for the night. There is some water to wash up, but it's not quite the same as putting on fresh clothing. Do you know that feeling?" Scar asked, bouncing around like he wasn't tired, too focused on getting ready to sleep to actually sleep.

Cub sat down on his bed, a bit surprised at how soft it was. It felt like sitting on a pile of feathers instead of on top of a mattress as thick as a carpet. The woolen construction was enticing him to lie down and sleep. It was a struggle for Cub not to instantly close his eyes and dispel the tired worry that had coiled itself inside him. He focused on Scar's voice to keep himself alert. "I liked it when I changed my outfits occasionally at  _ home _ ."

He spat home forcefully, focusing on it. This wasn't his home. This was just a place he needed to flee. Scar smiled softly anyway. "I'll have to try and get you two outfits tomorrow then. Someone in this village has to have some old clothing, right?"

"If you say so," Cub replied. 

"How are you enjoying your first village?" Scar continued asking.

Cub thought for a moment. "The villagers seem to be nice. Just, how did you make that pickaxe glow?"

"Vex magic!" Scar exclaimed.

"So just like you did with me," Cub said with a sarcastic twinge that Scar either didn't hear, or refused to acknowledge.

"Not really. Vex magic is very broad. You have mind magic, but you also have simpler things, like making an item glow."

"That doesn't explain how you did it."

"No, it really doesn't," Scar agreed, "but it's really something to show, and I'm tired tonight. If you would like, tomorrow, I could try and teach it to you. It's pretty basic."

"I can't do Vex magic," Cub instantly replied.

"You're a ConVex. All ConVex's can do Vex magic."

"Maybe the ones you've met--"

"Being able to shield your mind from me is just Vex magic."

Cub froze. He checked his mind's shielding, praying it hadn't let anything slip. It felt like a large stone wall. There were no penetrations he could detect.

"All ConVex can do Vex magic," Scar reiterated and continued, "most ConVex just aren't taught."

"But you were."

"I like learning about magic. Crystals, animals, healing. I think that's why I keep going back to my mansion," Scar's gaze was afar, "they kept teaching me."

"So, your loyalty stretches so far as you learn?"

"That's not too far off, but not really. I like learning and I keep going back, but also…" Scar sighed. His eyes were unfocused in memories. "Once a ConVex, always a ConVex. I may have been broken differently than you, but I'm still a ConVex. If I had just been a regular player, your old mansion would never have taken me. If my Vex wanted, they could rip everything I am apart."

"They just don't," Cub's eyes rose, mulling over the information, "because you're loyal."

"I will always be loyal to them. You aren't loyal to yours."

"Yes," Cub lied, "I am."

"Weren't you made to swap allegiances easily?"

"It doesn't matter."

"No," Scar sighed again, "no it doesn't."

Cub blinked away the formation of a tear he hadn't caught. He refused to acknowledge the anxiety he felt bubbling inside him. Instead, he laid on the bed and squeezed his eyes shut. "Good night Scar."

"Sweet dreams, Cub."

And Cub didn't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Cubfan...


	10. A Bird in Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is better then one free.

Cub waited for thirty long, drawn-out, anxiety filled minutes before he dared to creep out of bed. During that time, he deliberated over whether to take the bed sheets or not. In the end, he decided he would rather not have the terrifying golems after him for stealing from the villagers. He left the bed and it puffed back up. It was so inviting, it beckoned him to come and sleep in its warm embrace. He couldn't afford that. He didn't even take so much as a torch as he crept out of the villager house, opening the door with a baited breath, and emerging onto the streets of the village. The world was empty save for the moon and the stars. The nighttime chill was deeper, a bit drier, but Cub found himself shivering even as he stepped out. 

He snuck through narrow streets, careful to avoid any windows that might alert the village to his presence. He spied an iron golem on the other end of the village. It seemed to be distracted, hitting something with its powerful arms. Cub shivered at the thought of being crushed under the weight of the iron monstrosity. He chose to flee in the opposite direction, starting slow as he crouched through the village streets, before bolting once he was out of eyesight range. He did not know which way to go, so he picked a direction and fled towards a forest of trees. He kept running and running, ignoring his pounding heart and burning legs. He had to get away. The night was colder and he heard the howl of a wolf. He kept running, dodging birch and oak as he made his escape. The world was fear and Cub couldn't slow down, not as an arrow flew past his ears. He spat as a leave hit his head. How long had he been running? His legs were screaming and his heart was pounding and he kept running.

He was so lost in the woods. He didn't know which way he was going. All he knew is that he had to keep pressing on, put as much distance between him and Scar this first night. Scar could find him still. He might have tracking Vex magic. Cub also had to admit that Scar was healthier than Cub. Cub was skinny, halfway to bone. Scar's face didn't carry the same sunken weight. Scar would also have time to prepare, to trade with the villagers for food. All Cub had was his will. He would escape. He would not let Scar win. Scar had taken him from his home. The Vex Mansion  _ was _ his home. 

Cub spied a small cliff and dragged himself to hide beneath it. He was so tired. His vision wasn't correctly focusing. He needed a plan of where to go next. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know anything about the Overworld. How could he figure out how to get home when he didn't even know where his home was? He felt hopeless and lost. He sniffed audibly, holding back tears that were threatening to spill. What was he doing? He was lost and alone. His head was empty without the Vex and for the first time, he could think clearly without the fog of the Vex or the shields he clung to around Scar. 

The Vex didn’t need him. He was nothing. He needed the Vex. He should have resisted more. Would the Vex even let him go back? In their eyes he was a failure, an awful person. Even if he knew how to return, they might just permakill him for the infraction in the first place. He could have resisted Scar’s control, somehow. It was his fault. This entire mess was because of him. If he had been better, if he had done  _ something.  _ He should have recognized Scar’s behavior. Actually, he did but he  _ hid _ it. Why? Because he was scared of the Vex hurting Scar? Clearly the pain, as awful as it was, was necessary. They would have forced Scar to obey had Cub told them. 

Cub sobbed again, curling into a ball. The world was darker now, the moon hiding her face behind a veil of clouds, and the world had turned to a dark desolate place. Cub’s heart pounded as he heard a low moan beside him. He dared a glance out of the corner of his eyes. A figure was beside him. Its grotesque, warped body was a shade of rotten green. Fluid dripped out of the corpse, leaving a trail of slime behind it. Its hollow eyes were focused on Cub. It smiled with teeth covered in fresh blood. Cub’s breath stopped. 

Cub ran. 

The zombie was behind him, groaning and moaning as it moved. It seemed intent on following Cub. Cub’s frantic sprint had tired him out, and now he was just trying to walk faster then the approaching zombie. The trees around him provided little cover. Every time he stopped for air, another moan appeared from another location. It was like there were dozens of these monsters, all focused on Cub. He didn’t understand how one monster could be so persistent. He received his answer when the trees emerged in a small clearing. About three zombies, two skeleton archers with arrows primed, and a furry green monster with a mournful expression all stared at him. The creeper hissed.

Cub’s world was a wave of light as the monster exploded. It vaporized the two skeletons,, and heavily damaged a zombie. Cub was in pain, curling up on the burn wounds that covered his exposed hands. His health was low and Cub was tired. The world was spinning around him, filled with moans of pain from both him and the zombies. At this moment, Cub knew without a doubt, he was going to die. Cub shivered in anticipation, but nothing prepared him for the pain as a zombie bit down on his thigh. Cub  _ screamed _ , teeth sinking into his flesh. 

For a moment, all he knew was the pain as he projected his soul, begging for help from anyone. For a moment, he saw his mansion, Vex crowded around a table, all screeching and covering their ears as Cub’s out-of-control terror and fear surprised them. Only a few could control themselves enough to enjoy it. Their magic swarmed like a den of creepers, gripping Cub’s mind and squeezing it. Cub cried in pain, but his mental walls did not break. A second light batted away the Vex’s hold, battling them for control. Cub’s world blurred in and out, from dark sky and grass to brown wooden mansion. A Vex turned to Cub and hissed.

_ Where are you?  _

“Take me back, please,” Cub begged. The Vex grabbed his neck squeezing slightly. Cub choked anyway.

_ Where. Are. You? _

“I don’t know,” Cub sobbed, “please I want to come back. Please I didn’t want to go.”

The Vex did not answer his cries. Instead, Cub found himself even further away, looking at a person whose flesh was being eaten by zombies, eaten alive. The man looked like him and he looked so alone. He was still screaming, but quieter and hoarser.

“Cub!” came Scar’s voice, but Cub didn’t look, too fascinated but the zombie sniffing his face. “Take my hand, Cub.”

Cub blinked. Scar’s ‘hand’ was like a strand of light, trying to poke and join with his mind. It didn’t grab, it didn’t force, it asked. Cub took it.

“You have to fight, “ Scar said, “stretch out your hand towards the zombie and  _ push. _ ”

Cub closed his eyes, feeling for the mental connection. Scar was offering him power, and Cub let himself siphon some of that energy as he pushed his hand out towards the zombie. Though his arm only stretched so far, the light, the  _ magic _ he produced went farther. The zombie’s mouth spewed liquid, but it stayed down. Cub felt energized, the world suddenly so clear, like he could see everything from normal to ultraviolet light. The second zombie vaporized almost instantly under his light. His magic was raw, untamed, and Cub let it fuel him as he gripped the third in his mystical hand, letting that one die as well. Chunks of rotten flesh were all that remained. 

“Now let go,” Scar commanded.

Cub almost laughed at the absurdity of that idea. He had power, he had ideas. He was  _ magic. _ The Vex had always been more than him with their magic and now he was higher. He had magic and it was chaos. He had magic, and he could hurt. He wanted to hurt, he wanted to make creatures hurt. He saw a nearby cow and watched as it was slowly ripped apart, piece by piece, Cub’s methodical torture of the screaming animal infesting it with magic to keep it alive. 

“Stop it.”

He wondered about all this power. THe cow had now burst from the magic. Cub didn’t notice his own skin flaking off. THe world was his and he was Magic. 

“Cub, fight it!”

Who was Cub, the Magic wondered. The world around him was so black. 

“No!”  
Cub gasped as he was knocked to the ground, Scar standing over him, holding Cub’s magic like it was a disease. Scar had taken Cub’s magic, and refused to give it back when Cub kicked and shouted for it. 

“Cub, calm down. You’re safe now,” Scar’s words were frantic. Scar’s eyes were terrified. Cub was suddenly so much more exhausted than he had known.

“Scar?” Cub mumbled. The world was blurry and he hurt. He felt like a part of him was missing.

“Yes?”

“You…” Cub pointed at one of the three Scar’s he could see and prayed he picked right. “I like you. You… friend. Good.”

“Hush Cub. Get some rest. I can carry us back to the village.”

.

Cub woke up on a bed in a house made of oak. He was warm and felt comfortable, so he didn’t bother getting up quite yet. He just stayed there in a state of semi-consciousness, enjoying the quiet he had. It was so tranquil and Cub was still so tired. Did it really matter if he got up or not? The blankets were so comforting, the weight of a hug in the woolen spread, and Cub was always so cold. The pillow was soft and stuffed with hay. It supported Cub’s head in a way he loved. He wished he could stay like this forever. Unfortunately, it was not to be when the cheerful footsteps of a fellow player skipped into the room.

“Are you doing alright Cub?” Scar asked. 

Cub was. He answered, “I… yes.”

“That’s good to hear,” Scar’s voice was bright as he plopped himself down onto Cub’s bed. Cub could feel the weight next to his legs. “I was worried about you.”

“If you say so,” Cub answered again.

Scar shifted. In a bit lower of a tone, came out, “It’s true. I was really scared when I woke up and found you missing.”

“I was fine,” Cub said.

“The only reason I found you was because you were screaming for your life loud enough to alert the Vex. And I mean that actually," Scar said.

Cub blinked, "They… they really were there?"

Scar nodded oblivious to Cub's growing panic. "You were… it was like your mind was crying out to all Vex. It hurt. You have so much raw power. It's what I guided you to direct to defend yourself. It was so powerful--" Scar shivered "--like, you were mentally attacking everyone."

"I was hurting you. I was hurting  _ them _ ," Cub's eyes widened, thick eyebrows emphasizing the motion.

"I connected with them, for a moment. They were in pain. Not everyone can attack a mansion like that. You…" Here, Scar looked away, almost like he was in awe. Or, was that fear? "You are one of the most powerful ConVex I've ever met."

"You've met more powerful?"

"Sometimes…" Scar bit his lip for a moment, "sometimes I wonder if the Vex know players are powerful with their magic and that's why most don't train us."

"It would allow us to fight them, like I did," Cub concluded. He had fought his Vex. He had been bad. Yet, he felt so free having done that. 

Cub has done that. He had defeated, sort-of, the Vex. It was a strange feeling. He didn't feel liberated, he didn't feel good about it, but... he felt free? Was free the world for this concept, this feeling of sudden relief as if a weight had been taken off his shoulder. Here, bound by blankets heavy and warm, with his kidnapper by his side, Cub had never felt more free. This was weird, but a good weird. What were the Vex going to do to him? He couldn't run forever and beyond that he didn't want to leave them. Despite this feeling, despite Scar's encouraging look. This wasn't Cub's home. He wasn't home, he was... he was in a village after attacking the Vex. They would kill him for that. THey had been asking where he was and he, in his fear and in his stupidity, attacked them. He hid his mind like a bad ConVex. HThey should punish him, he deserved it. He didn't want to get punished but he deserved it. He was a bad ConVex he was so evil and they just wanted to help him but....

Scar. Scar had helped him fight the Vex, didn't he? Scar had taken him away, and then fought to keep him. How had Scar fought off the Vex, but... or did Cub do most of the work? CUb didn't know. He didn't know anything right now. He just wanted to be good and everything was becoming worse and worse with every choice he made. He followed Scar and escaped. When he escaped, he attacked his Vex from fear. 

What was Cub going to do? 

Scar didn't have those questions on his mind as he smiled, happily and encouragingly, at Cub. "You really need to get trained. You could really protect yourself with your magic."

"Would you train me?"

"I can teach you the basics, but if you come to my mansion, they would help teach you!"

"I... I want to go home," Cub said. 

"If you wanted to go home, why did you attack the Vex?"

"I don't know Scar. I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to be back at my mansion serving the Vex. That's it. I don't want to learn any heretical magic. I don't want to."

Scar, to Cub's surprise, didn't get angry at Cub's blatant declaration of his true thoughts. Cub couldn't believe Che had said it even. The world was silent, like a pin waiting to drop. Scar looked away. "I'm sorry for kidnapping you," Scar mumbled.

"What?"

"It was wrong. I shouldn't have just taken you. I thought it was the best thing, under the circumstances, but you aren't happy. You were planning to escape the moment you realized what was going on, where you?"

"I don't know what is going on," Cub confessed, "I...." Cub didn't want to admit this. He looked away in shame.

"You what?"

"I want to go with you, if I'm honest. You... I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

"I don't understand why I want to go with you."

"Do you have to know?"

"Well," Cub said, "it's better if I did."

Scar looked thoughtfully onward. "If you go with me, I can teach you some of the magic I know. I don't know much, but I can get by on my own. I can teach you healing, maybe some crystals. I don't know much offensive magic, but I know enough to not have to carry a sword everywhere."

"I don't want to learn Vex magic. The Vex didn't want me to learn it, or they would have taught me."

"If the Vex had it their way, you would be nothing but a mindless servant even before I arrived. You aren't the first ConVex I've met, but you certainly have the most personality."

"Could you tell me more about the ConVex you've met?" Cub asked.

"I'll tell you later. Some of them are long stories, and we're going to have to get up and leave this village soon."

Right. They were still in the village. Cub was still in this bed. "How soon will we have to leave?"

"Preferably by noon, if we want to make good headway. The nights are dangerous, but you've found that out the hard way."

Cub began moving, propping himself up to sit on the bed instead of laying on it. The air was colder today than it had been yesterday. Cub shivered. "I did, didn't I."

"You need new clothes."

"So--" Cub grunted, "-- I've heard."

"I've talked with the villager a bit while you were still out. I got a new outfit, if it fits you. It's a bit too big for me, and it might be a little loose, but we can tie it around you and it's certainly warmer. Just," Scar's smile returned, "be careful when you go into player settlements. They might try to trade with you!"

"Are there any player settlements here?"

"None on this world. I think this was a singleplayer world. The person who lived here seems to have been killed by the Vex when they moved in. No one's explored here ever since."

"Is that common for Vex?" Cub asked, standing up to grab the clothing. It was a several layer outfit of robes in the plains villager style, with a long woolen tunic, and a thicker brown woolen robe over top, with brown pants under it all. The shoes were made of leather and appeared sturdy, especially compared with the lighter sandals Cub had been wearing. There was no real individuality in the outfit, compared to Scar's, but that… actually, it did bother Cub, if he was honest. He wondered where Scar got his outfit that oozed his personality. 

"It's not uncommon. Some Vex leave the player alive, but those mansions rarely amass much power. Players usually drive out those mansions once discovered, and most mansions find creating ConVex to be too much trouble. Even your mansion wanted to try and start with a partially broken in ConVex."

"They thought you were a ConVex who escaped, not a… wandering ConVex?"

"Basically. A rare few have gotten established on multiplayer worlds, but that's usually when they have a deal with one or more of the players."

"Do players ever try to fight the mansions?"

"Not really. There are millions of players. A few hundred getting kidnapped by Vex mansions isn't worth much hysteria to the average player. Most just think they are the little tricksters that glitched in the code then any beings worth devoting their thought to. Player legends mostly surround things like Herobrine."

"Do you know many players?"

Scar shook his head, "I've been around a few settlements, but none worth staying for long. I'm too busy with my Vex."

"And that's where we're going. Your Vex mansion."

"That's the plan. We'll have to worldhop a few more times. It's a ways away and Vex aren't welcome in world hubs."

"I thought most players didn't know about the mansions."

"It's not about the mansions, it's about our magic. Players would think we made a deal with the Vex to get it."

The implication that they'd think this was… consensual somehow wasn't spoken.

Scar stood up. "I'm going to go outside and let you change. Meet me when you've finished?"

"Where should I meet you?"

"I'll be just outside," Scar assured, "no chance for you to miss me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post this 'cause I sad.
> 
> I good author. :P


	11. Malignant Malnourishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so... hungry...

Cub stretched as he walked out of the door. The clothing was, as Scar had predicted, slightly loose. He was significantly skinnier than any of the villagers, and even Scar. He hadn't eaten in a few days, but his stomach had learned to be quiet with food. Even it, however, didn't remain quiet when he saw the bounty in Scar's arms. Carrots, potatoes, bread, all manners of fresh foods. It made Cub's mouth water just looking at it. He took a step forward, towards Scar and the wonderful treats, stumbling a bit on his way down as he forgot about the steps.   
"You look good Cub!" Scar complimented. 

Cub's face flushed at the words. "I… thank you," he mumbled. Cub might not love the style, but he couldn't deny he felt better in them, They were warm, they were  _ comfortable. _ He didn't realize how scratchy and raggedy his old ones had been until he had tried this new set.

"I got us some food for the road. You look hungry."

"I haven't eaten in a few days," Cub admitted.

Scar's face took on a look of confusion. "We've only been traveling for about a day. Didn't you eat in the mansion?"

Cub shook his head. "They only feed me some beets when they remember, and they were too busy focusing on you."

"That run last night must have taken some of your energy. Try a carrot," Scar invited, holding out the most delicious looking carrot Cub had ever seen. Not that he ever remembered seeing a carrot.

How did he identify it anyway? He certainly had never seen a carrot before, not in the Vex mansions. He didn't voice this concern, choosing instead to focus his energy on taking a bite of the treat. His tongue exploded in a wave of taste as the juice filled his mouth. Almost instantly, all traces of Cub's earlier tiredness were gone, replaced by a surge of energy that only continued as he kept gnawing on the carrot. He felt full after eating half of it.

"Not going to finish?" Scar asked, seeing Cub pocket the uneaten remains.

"It's a lot of food!" Cub exclaimed. "I haven't eaten this well... ever!"

"That's…" Scar hesitated.

"What do you mean?" Cub asked. He wondered if he did something wrong, not finishing his food, but it was so much.

"Just that… most players, even ConVex, can eat a lot more than just half a carrot."

"So that's bad," Cub confirmed.

Scar simply nodded in accord. 

Cub sighed, before taking on a cheerful expression, "It's fine. Are we leaving soon?"

"I'm ready to leave, if you have any reason to tary?"

"Not at all," Cub replied.

"Well then," Scar said, offering a hand for Cub to hold, "let's go."

Cub hesitated for only a brief moment before taking the offering. Scar's calloused hand felt safe and warm. Cub liked being warm. The Vex mansions were always so cold and he hadn't recognized that, not until he'd been in a place that he could be warm. If he ever went back, he needed to find a better blanket. Maybe he could bring some dirt and grow his own food? The Vex, however, would probably not allow him to keep such indulgent luxuries.

Scar led Cub to the outskirts of the village, under the gaze of the golems. They looked at the duo with solemn eyes. Cub looked away in slight shame. He now knew what they were protecting against. Monsters. Like him? Cub didn't feel particularly monstrous and he didn't know where that thought came from. However, thinking it over again, it made a bit of sense. He was a player who served the Vex. The Vex were, in their most basic form, mobs. Mobs that the Iron Golem might attack. Should they attack Cub too then, if he followed the ideology of a monster? Was he just a monster? Were the Vex? Cub clung to Scar's hand like a lifeline, taking down his shiverings as he let himself breath in and out in a calming pattern. In. Out. In. Out.

"Are you okay Cub?" Scar asked.

"Just... was thinking," Cub replied.

Scar didn't respond verbally beyond a short hum. He looked outwards. The village was behind them now. For not the first time, Cub wondered where exactly they were going. Now seemed to be as good a time as any for him to finally ask.

"So, where are we going?" Cub asked.

"Well, we're going to the coordinates 0, 0, aka World Spawn."

"Why do we need to go there?" 

"World Spawn is the only place you can connect to other servers," Scar answered. "We're going to have to do this a few times. My Vex live on a rather hidden server compared to most. It's safer, but they have less resources."

"If we were normal players," Cub thought, "we could just use a world hub."

"But we aren't normal players, we are ConVex."

"So, what's the real difference? I don't remember ever meeting another player."

"Do you not remember, or did the Vex take away that memory?"

Cub frowned. He didn't think he could remember another player until.... Screams. Begging. It was bad. Cub blinked, trying to clear away his vision. The color of blood was filling it, consuming his mind. For a moment, he forgot where he was. Only Scar's hand kept him in this reality. He had never had that before. Before he could spend days in his head. He never had a true respite. How much things had changed. After a moment of heavy breathing, Cub could answer, "They took it."

Scar's smile was grim, but not unpleasant. "I thought so. Even though most players play on singleplayer, it's rare that the Vex can capture one from a singleplayer world. They're harder to access comparatively."

"You aren't mad?" Cub felt a bit surprised at Scar.

"Why would I be?"

"I just thought..."

"Cub," Scar paused in his walking, and looked into Cub's eyes. They weren't blue like they were when Scar channeled Vex magic, they were entirely Scar's own. Cub liked Scar's eyes. They seemed to contain the universe in them. "I will never be mad at you for this."

"I know that," Cub said, "but I don't know."

"You find it difficult to sort through your thoughts and feelings."

"Yes!" Cub exclaimed, "That's it."

"That's okay. It's hard sometimes. Anyway," Scar shook his head, "to answer your question, I've heard players are different in their code. When ConVex are made the Vex… alter something, in our code, to make us partially Vex."

"So, we're mobs?" 

"More like hybrids. Sort-of like a player who has the body of a creeper. They're still a player, just… different."

"We don't look like Vex though."

"Not externally. But we have their magic, even if some don't teach us how to use it. Changing the code is probably the hardest part of breaking a ConVex, I've heard," Scar said.

"And who have you heard it from?" Cub asked, his earlier questioning still on his mind. 

Scar bit his lip, looking farther off. "It's… tough to answer that."

"Why?"

"I want to protect others' privacy, for one," Scar said. He broke out into a sudden run. Cub flinched in fear, looking around for what scared Scar. Scar leapt over a fallen tree, tripping, falling, before laughing up a storm. Cub froze, looking at the rolling, laughing figure. He was happy. "Come on Cub! See if you can make it!"  
Cub hesitated, looking at the tree. He didn't exactly see the appeal of jumping over such an item, but he wished to please Scar. He lifted up his robes, before trotting towards the tree branch. He jumped neatly over, stumbling just a bit, but landing on his feet.

"Woohoo Cub!" Scar cheered, "You did it!"

Cub blinked, taking a few steps to regain his balance in a weird, dancelike way. The ground was so springy, with the grass and the dirt in this field. He caught himself smiling at this, almost, but not quite, giggling. 

"See! Isn't it fun?"

"I guess it is," Cub admitted with another giggle. 

"That's the real adventure," Scar sighed, looking up towards the rising sun. He didn't bother to move, laying there in the dirt. Cub crouched beside him.

"Jumping over logs?"

"More… being here. With you."

"We just met," Cub said.

"But I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'm…" Cub swallowed, confused by the slight tears brewing in his eyes at Scar's words, "I'm not the first ConVex you've met."

"Maybe not," Scar said, "but you are the best."

Cub didn't know how to respond to that. He looked away, in a bit of embarrassment at Scar's blunt admission. 

Scar sat up and rummaged in his inventory, pulling out a carrot. "This would be a good place to eat lunch."

"I'm not hungry," Cub answered.

"That's okay," Scar answered, "just nibble on your carrot. You've been walking all day and need to eat."

Cub took out the half eaten carrot. His stomach rumbled, and Cub realized he  _ was _ hungry. He took a bite of the carrot, savoring its sweetness once more. 

"Where were we," Scar asked in between bites. 

"The ConVex you've met," Cub reminded him. 

"Ah!" Scar exclaimed, bits of carrot falling from his mouth. He shut his mouth and swallowed, turning a slight pink shade. In a more subdued tone of voice, Scar continued, "Right. Where to begin…?"

"Who was the first ConVex you met?" Cub prompted.

"Hm," Scar thought, "that would have been when my mansion visited another. They had a fox. She didn't talk much, except to exalt her mansion. She was about as skinny as you, with the fur." Scar took a breath before continuing, "I remember when we went back, I asked about her behavior. I was a bit sad since I wanted to talk to someone. That mansion, apparently, was a firm believer ConVex should only be heard speaking praises and that my questions would have gotten me killed there."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Did you ask questions?" Cub clarified.

"They told me to be quiet. I just tried to talk to her," Scar recalled. He wiped away a tear, "I think that was my first realization that not every ConVex had it like me."

"You know," Cub swallowed again, bits of carrot still in his mouth, "I thought you had it worse than me when we met."

"I think every ConVex thinks that they have it best," Scar said. He took a bite, and finished his carrot. All that was left was a piece of green that was tossed on the ground without a second thought. 

"Do you think you have it best?" Cub asked.

Scar's answer was quiet and self-conscious, "I used to."

"Why don't you any more?"

"I'm… not sure," Scar admitted. "I've met happier ConVex, and I've met worse off ConVex. I don't know what I can define as 'best' anymore."

"Whether you mean happiness, or if it's treatment or…"

"Exactly," Scar said. 

"But you think you have it better than I did," Cub said. "So you kidnapped me."

Scar bit his lip, "I… You need to see yourself more. You're so skinny."

"Hey, I ate a whole carrot today!" Cub pressed his chest in a gesture of mock offense.

"Cub," Scar frowned, "that's… not… healthy."

"Maybe not for you, but it's how I've lived my life," Cub replied. He gestured towards the remains of Scar's carrot, "You only ate one."

"I had a porkchop this morning."

"Maybe neither of us eat enough."

"Probably," Scar admitted. "Though…" Scar made a weird noise that was halfway between a giggle and a hiccup, "I didn't… I didn't want to leave you there. I don't… I guess I enjoyed you too much to not keep you."

"So what you're saying is… you're selfish," Cub giggled.

Scar grinned awkwardly. He snorted, "Pretty much."

"I can't believe you've done this."

"Believe it, Cub."

Cub laughed heartily. Scar joined soon after. For a moment, they were lying there and laughing, two friends sharing a joke that was funny to, at least, them. They soon fell quiet and Cub closed his eyes, enjoying the peace. The wind whipped around, a quiet ambience that relaxed Cub. They'd have to get up, they would have to move on, but Cub could enjoy a moment of rest and peace.

.

They had been traveling for a long day after their lunch. Dinner was eaten on the road, Cub refusing any food for not being hungry enough to consume it. Scar had expressed concern, but Cub was adamant. 

“I don’t want to waste it,” Cub had said.

“If you’re eating it, it’s not a waste!” Scar offered as encouragement.

“I wouldn’t eat it.”

“If you say so,” Scar shrugged, before munching on a baked potato. It was amazing how food stayed fresh in an inventory.

According to Scar, they were five hundred blocks away from worldspawn when he deemed the night to be too close to continue onward. Scar had somehow procured a woolen mattress in the village that he produced. He set up a small structure from the wood of a nearby fallen tree. Cub tried to help, but Scar shooed him away with flint and steel to make a fire. He wrestled with the fire for twenty minutes before Scar was finished and could help. It only took Scar a single try. Cub wondered, and not for the first time that day, how he had survived before the Vex. He felt useless, with so many skills Scar seemed to deem as ‘basic’ just not coming to him. What could he do when something as simple as striking flint against steel didn’t produce a spark for him? When he didn’t know so much as how to build a crafting table?

Scar didn’t need to hear those thoughts. He offered to make something for Cub, but Cub declined. Instead, Cub took up his half of the mattress, and laid quietly. He wished Scar hadn’t construed a roof so that he could see the stars. He liked the night sky and her beauty. Despite the quiet stare, Cub didn’t really manage to fall asleep until Scar came inside and laid beside him. The player’s breaths slowed as he fell asleep, Cub finding himself falling soon after into that silent bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact; malnourishment SUCKS. You get taken into the hospital and they shove a tube in your nose and feed you that way. Then you have to slowly re-acclimate to eating but they don't let you eat things like garlic or onions or anything good because your stomach can't handle it. 
> 
> There is also this one drink that have almost 2k calories in about 8 oz that they could give you. Gotta get those calories.
> 
> Anyway, stomach problems, not fun to have someone you love go through. And even if you eat healthy they could come on and ruin your life, kick you out of school (because you don't have enough energy to walk between classes), etc. etc. 
> 
> What? Personal experience with a close family member regarding this? Pfff, it's not THAT obvious.


	12. Journey to the Center of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into the unknown...

He shivered. The sun had set and the night was cold and monsterless. He wasn't exactly sure where he was. It was a beautiful place, but that only made it all the more ominous. He remembered thinking about the Vex, but he couldn't recall why. He didn't know where he was and he was cold on his exposed fingers and face. He needed to follow the path, he needed to find out where he wanted to go so urgently. It didn't make much sense for him to keep traveling onward, yet he did, one foot in front of the other. The trees, so carefully grown into unique shapes, were becoming more and more frequent, with the land having more and more of an artificially created shape. He thought he saw a hill in the distance with multiple layers of colors to create a tapestry of artwork out of the world itself. Yet, despite this and despite everything, it all felt so natural and real. It felt like it was his as much as he felt like a stranger to it. Wherever he was, he felt like he was home. That was one of the strangest parts of this whole affair. Everything was home but he wasn't home, was he?

He didn't know. He wanted to stop and look at the pond he passed, where the ferns were so beautifully tended, but his legs refused to allow him even that moment of looking. They had someplace they wanted to be, tracing some path that he was unaware of. Maybe he would become aware of it in due time. He wanted to know what was going on, in the end. Was that too hard of a thing to ask? 

So he passed houses all made up to be pretty, with a mix of colors and such beautiful styles, all evoking emotions. Talent beyond the basic halls of the mansion was present in this world, Cub knew. All the styles were so similar, he found it hard to even consider this could be a build team. It had to be one person. Maybe he was to meet that person. Or, perhaps, he was that person?

He had never had much eye for building and he never cared to create things much. He'd always preferred redstone, whatever that was, building fun machines and contraptions. It was enjoyable in a way building wasn't quite as enjoyable. No, these houses weren't his. Whose were they though? Who had made this beautiful world and why was he tracing their footprints? When he came to a house, one that didn't quite fit in with its dark oak aesthetic versus the lighter oak focus, why did he feel surprised? Where even his emotions not his in this world?

So troubled was he by this thought, for a moment, he didn't notice his hands reaching for the door handle. He didn't notice his shaking, not from the cold anymore, but nervousness. As the door opened, he didn't hear his voice call out, "Who's there?"

.

"Who's there?" Cub murmured sleepily. He batted away the person shaking him. The arm didn't stop, and Cub found himself blinking his eyes open to a smiling, and apparently morning-friendly, Scar. The man's bright smile matched the sunlight peeking in the cabin. 

"Sorry for waking you, but I made some breakfast!" Scar said, "Eggs and bacon!"

Cub wasn't sure what bacon was, but he forced himself to flop out of bed anyway. He had no idea why he was still tired. The sun was out, didn't that mean it was time to get up? That's what Cub had always assumed, and yet he felt so tired. It didn't make much sense to him. He put on the boots, finding it harder to deal with laces so early in the morning. Scar left Cub to it, and was waiting when Cub walked out. The fire had been restarted by Scar, evident from the flint and steel moved from where Cub had left last night. Resting on a wooden plate was a pile of yellow something and thin red strips. They looked good. Cub sat down and glanced up, wondering if they were for him, or if Scar had just set down his plate. His unspoken question was answered when Scar pushed the plate towards Cub, who hesitantly took it. He slowly dipped his fingers, picking up the food. Scar didn't seem to care, so Cub just ate. The flavor exploded in his mouth, but Cub was too nervous to focus. 

He felt like he was doing something wrong. He wanted to not eat. Scar was focusing on mending a tear in a spare shirt. Cub wondered what would happen if he ran again, back to the Vex. The next world was so close, but Cub knew nothing of worldhopping. Once they left, that was going to be it. It was a thought that Cub had been hiding for a bit, the idea that he might never come back to this world, once they moved on. That was it. Not the dreams. The dreams were nothing. No, he wasn't hiding his dreams or his fears, Cub knew he was fine. He had just enjoyed a plate of food in a comfortable silence. 

"Did you enjoy your meal?" Scar broke.

"It was good," Cub responded. He hoped that was the correct thing to say to Scar.

"Are you ready to get going? It's not that far, but it's still a long walk."

Could Cub be honest and say he wasn't? He was not yet ready to move on. He didn't want to leave, yet he didn't want to stay. His mind was solemn and tired. Everything felt tired, a strange sort of numbness that was familiar to him. He was tired, but not  _ tired _ . It was a mess of oxymorons that Cub didn't wish to sort out. He didn't wish to do anything except stare at the dying fire.

When did he ever get what he wanted.

"I am," claimed Cub. He didn't know how he got so good at lying. It seemed to just come second nature now that he was with Scar. He didn't like that. Halfmindedly, he probed his mind's shields, a bit surprised at how they had stood so firmly. They took so little energy, yet he hadn't expected them to last for so long. Maybe Scar was right about his magic. In any case, it would be hard for Scar to tell he’s lying mentally, and Scar either didn’t care or didn’t know how to identify Cub’s facial expressions that might give away his lies. 

“Okay, anything you need to take?” Scar asked. His eyes were dashing around, making a mental checklist in his mind, presumably, making sure everything was situated. “You can’t take things in your inventory between worlds, but if you carry the item it should transfer.”

“I’m fine, Scar,” Cub reassured. Scar nodded half-hazardly, before standing up. Cub’s legs ached when he copied the motion. He felt like he had been walking for ages, but he had just awoken. It didn’t make much sense. Cub didn’t like it. 

“How are you doing today?” Scar asked, beginning to pick up a pace as he stared at a compass once more. Numbers on the device ticked downwards as they walked, slowly going from ‘663’ to ‘662’. Cub inferred those were coordinates.

“I’m doing pretty good,” Cub replied. He paused momentarily to look at a particularly interesting flower. Scar didn’t seem to realize this, and Cub had to trot to catch up to Scar. He missed the beginning of Scar’s… question?

“...you think so too?” Scar asked. 

“I guess,” Cub replied.

“Not a cloud in the sky, an open plain, this really would be an amazing world to live in, if you didn’t have the Vex.”

“Couldn’t you just live far away from them? I haven’t seen them at all,” Cub said.

“That,’s,” Scar casually dropped, “because I’ve been hiding us from their eyes. A normal player’s lifeforce is a beckoning call to all mobs. Some magic can help with that, stiffen our scent, so to speak.”

“How do you do that?” Cub questioned.

“It’s hard to explain, but…” Scar stopped talking. He seemed very focused on walking past an oak tree with two sheep graving beneath it, shielding from the rising sun. 

“What’s wrong?”

“--Nothing,” Scar claimed.

Cub blinked.

Scar ignored Cub’s rising confusion, “We’re only a hundred blocks away!”

“Okay?”

“That’s great news! It’s going to be so much easier once we get out of this world, depending on what’s in the next. It’ll probably take about three or four worldhops to get to my Vex’s world.”

Cub smiled stiffly, and nodded slightly in attention.

“Of course, when I got here I took about a dozen worldhops, but that’s mainly because I didn’t have a clear direction of where to go, right?”

“Right.”

“The only real issue would be if we find a world with players or corrupted files or a or a hardcore world or a weird dimension. That would be dangerous.”

“Yep.”

“I’m pretty good at avoiding those. The trick is to slip in and out quickly. Of course, it’s harder with player inhabited worlds, since they can sometimes stop you from leaving.”

“Have they?”

“What?”

“Have they ever stopped you?” Cub clarified.

“The last one that did that gave me the scar on my side.”

Cub watched as Scar lifted his shirt slightly to reveal a long purple marking that spoke of an old scar. It was ugly, with its puke green undertones and pus yellow accents. “That’s from a potion of harming tipped sword, isn’t it.”

It was Scar’s turn to force a smile. “Yep.”

“Player’s did that?” Cub asked, not breaking his gaze from the wound.

“When they saw my magic--” Scar pulled his shirt back down “--they said I was an evoker. They didn’t kill me, because they believed I wouldn’t respawn. So instead they just scarred me and kept me alive.” Scar’s voice was monotone. His gaze was far away. Cub decided to stare at another tree.

“How did you escape?” Cub asked softly.

“I killed myself,” Scar replied.

“If I did that,” Cub asked, “where would I respawn?”

“Not at the mansion,” Scar said. Cub glanced away. The mansion hadn’t crossed his mind when he originally asked that question, but now that Scar had brought it up? 

“Then where?”

“Around 2000 blocks away, where we first appeared. But that doesn’t matter. We’re here.”

.

Cub wasn’t sure what he had expected zero, zero to look like. Certainly not a nondescript field like Cub and Scar had traveled on all this time. In fact, nothing was remarkable about this place at all. 

“Not even a pillar,” Scar remarked. 

“What do you mean?”

“A fair few players mark this with a pillar of grass or something. If the player didn’t...”

“I thought you said that the Vex usually killed the players in their world.”

“They do!” Scar nodded. “I guess I just didn’t think about it”

“I thought you disliked players,” Cub said.

“Well,” Scar said, “You're a player, and I like you.

“I’m a ConVex.”

“Still a player.”

Cub stared at Scar for a moment. Scar didn’t back down his gaze

“I wonder who’s world this was, though,” Scar changed the subject.

“Maybe it was noones,” Cub suggested. That was a nicer prospect then what probably happened.

Scar shot it down, “Only players can make worlds. Whoever lived here is dead.”

The two shared a moment of silence for the player neither knew. 

Cub broke the silence.

“How do you worldhop?”

“It’s pretty simple, you take your com- oh.”

“What?” Cub asked, a bit threatened by Scar’s stare.

“You don’t have a communicator.”

“What’s a communicator?” 

“It’s this,” Scar said, showing off the device Cub had assumed to be a compass. Looking closer at it, he realized there were several buttons that seemed to lead to various functions. There was a cloud with one end pointed, a gear, and a few other symbols Cub couldn’t quite describe. The screen Scar was on had clear coordinates, and was marked by a compass tab.

“That’s… wow,” Cub said. He wondered how it worked. The redstone circuitry inside of it must have been extremely complicated to allow for such a compact device to have these functions. He wished he knew what redstone was. It seemed to make him happy to think about. 

“It’s incredibly useful. You also use it to worldhop. You press this button--” Scar copied what he said “--turn this dial to tune into another world, and you’re all set!”

“How do you know what to turn the dial to?”

“You kinda just have to guess until you get something, then write down and save the ip. I usually just guess; it's not really safe to make return trips.”

“Okay,” Cub said, “how would I get a communicator?”

Scar bit his lip. “You kinda spawn with one. The Vex must have taken yours and I don’t know of anyone who can get it back once it's gone except, maybe, an admin?”

“What’s an admin?”

“They’re… players with magic, basically. They can change the world’s code. There aren’t that many of them, far as I know. The Vex don’t really know much about admins.”

What if a ConVex is an admin?” Cub suggested. 

Scar looked afar as he thought, “I don’t know. They’d probably just have a normal ConVex life. LIke I said, the Vex don’t really know much about admins. What I’ve heard was from players. But enough of that, are you ready to go?”

“I… I think so? How can I world hop without a communicator?” Cub asked. 

“Hold onto my hand,” Scar said, “you should come with me.”

Cub reached out and hesitantly grabbed Scar’s hand. He looked to Scar for comfort as he felt a well of nervousness spring up inside him. This was it. If he let go now, Scar might go without him. He squeezed Scar’s hand tighter. Scar squeezed back once. This was right. Cub was leaving. He squeezed his eyes shut to stave off his growing fear. He was standing, in a field, with Scar beside him. Everything was going to be okay. 

“Ready?” Scar asked.

Cub hoped his squeaking reply would be answer enough. 

Scar seemed to take it as. He stepped closer and leaned on Cub, offering the comfort of touch and body. Cub could almost feel tears threatening to fall. He was… scared. That was the only word for it. Cub was scared. He was scared of the Vex he was leaving behind, but he was scared of moving forward. He was scared of Scar and his great powers that he used against Cub. He was scared of who he was, before as a broken ConVex and now as a freer… something. 

“3.”

Cub quaked and quivered.

“2.”

He thought about letting go.

“1.”

He wanted to let go.

He didn’t let go.

The world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made a last minute alteration to this chapter so I hope it worked.


	13. Every Colour But Redstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hear the chimes ring...

Hoping between worlds was different from the fall through the cold void. It was like it took a moment, and yet, also a thousand days. It was black and blank, like Cub was nothing but a pile of code. Maybe that was all he was. Red messages screaming ‘error’ and ‘virus detected’ meant nothing to him. When he floated past a file marked ‘memory’, he tried to take a peek inside. All he could see was the face of a Vex and a message saying ‘file corrupted.’ He looked away, closing his eyes just to see lines and lines of strangely disjointed words screaming even errors at him. It was strangely peaceful, despite the redness. He was just code, floating through the world.

All too suddenly, he blinked. He was in a savannah. In fact, he was on top of the savannah, or at least, one of its orange acacia trees. Scar was beside him, rubbing his head like he had a headache. Cub was still hugging Scar, and found the closeness to be rather embarrassing. He scooted away, wondering how the two were going to get down from the tree. Scar poked his head down beside Cub’s. 

“This is a weird spawn,” he said. Cub silently agreed. Mossy stones of cobble were scattered around in a chaotic messy path. The village beside them was quiet and void of life beyond the cow that now seemed to claim the sandstone houses as its own. The grass was dry and a pale shade of green. Past the eye, down the cobble path, was a range of mountains barely able to be made out in the distance.

Scar poked out his communicator and Cub watched as Scar’s hands carefully plucked out words. His typing was slow and a bit clumsy, with a healthy dash of spelling mistakes that caused the communicator to spit out errors.

“On the plus side,” Scar said, “whatever player lives here is offline. They’re still around, within the last hour. If we hurry, we might be able to get to 0,0 before they return.”

“How far away are we?”

“Just a thousand blocks.”

“That’s a full day's worth of traveling,” Cub pointed out, recalling how long it took them to make their journey, “and it’s already well past noon.”

“We could set up camp in that village, but it looks like whoever lives here already pillaged it.”

Pillaged, Cub’s mind took, before running with it as far as it could go. He traced a path from pillager to illager, and from there, to the Vex. It shot Cub like an arrow, piercing his heart as he realized the truth, what being here, sitting in a tree, with the empty world and Scar beside him. He was… free? Certainly not. He could still feel his mental shields and Vex magic, buzzing beneath his skin like a pleasant but foreign tangle he always knew. The Vex, however…

The Vex could world hop. They had to be able to, how would they have captured Cub? how would they meet with other mansions? They could, technically, somehow, rationally, Cub knew they could find him. Why did he feel safe despite this knowledge? Was this feeling safety, his muscles relaxing, but his heart still pounding? Cub sorted through the whirlwind of thoughts and fears, and couldn't figure it out. His mind felt like a jigsaw puzzle, all mixed up with pieces from someone else's puzzle, strange as that was. The other puzzle wasn't the Vex, and Cub didn't quite know what he meant through this analogy. It certainly didn't make him feel any better then before his mind had started down that spiral. He couldn't quite get out of it. 

What was his mind? How could he sort out the mess he knew he was? Could he? All he seemed to do was question his own sanity, sanity he wasn't sure he had ever been granted. After all, he'd been taught to serve the Vex, and one didn't need to be stable to do such a thing. Now, though, he was out in a world of dangerous monsters. He was with Scar, yes, but Cub couldn't rely on someone he barely could understand, and, despite every good thing Scar had done... Scar had taken on a role closer to the Vex's then a friend. A master, not a companion. A kinder one, who tolerated Cub's fallacies and questions, but a leader never-the-less. Cub found he was liking leaders less and less. It didn't make much sense as to why. Or, thinking deeper, it did. Cub wasn't a psychologist or therapist, he didn't even know why his mind offered up those words while he was thinking about it. He just thought too much, even when he was, or as, a ConVex. His brain refused to shut off and that was dangerous for Cub. Still, he couldn't stop doing it. He needed to figure himself out, he needed to reveal the pieces, turning them over to glimpse at that shattered mind and pile of errors and codes that he had seen hopping between worlds. Of course, the only way to see that again would be to worldhop again. Maybe if he asked Scar, Scar could offer advice on deciphering the code. He didn't feel much like asking Scar though. It felt too personal. 

Instead, Cub looked over and tried to refocus on Scar's half-muttered rambling about where they were to go, and the quickest route to take to get there. "We're definitely going to have to go through those mountains. I bet that the player who lives here set up shop around those, I know I would. They are beautiful."

Cub nodded. The mountains were tall, parts almost looking hand carved, and were a sight to behold. Cub wondered how far he could see, standing on the tallest one.

"If we go there and are right, we should be able to steal some supplies from whoever lives here."

"Won't they find out?"

Scar smiled grimly, "Probably. But hopefully after we've already left."

"They've been gone for an hour."

"Yep."

"Would they," Cub swallowed some saliva building in his mouth. He didn't know why he felt this hungry after just standing here, "be able to tell?"

Scar bit his lip, "Yep."

Cub swung his legs out, and neatly slid from the top of the tree, landing on his belly on the spongy grass with enough force to knock the wind out of him. He quickly recovered and scrambled to find purchase in the soggy ground. Scar's leap down was much more graceful, with bent knees breaking his fall, and no stumbling. Cub brushed some dirt off his chest. He wondered at how well his villager clothing kept the dirt and cold off him. They held together in a way so much unlike the Vex provided… garments. Getting a spark of having his own clothing somehow made him want more. 

"Are you ready to get going?" Scar asked. 

Cub nodded. It was an unnecessary question. He didn’t have a say in what Scar and him did, really. Scar took Cub’s hand, and began leading Cub through the world, past the plundered, empty village. Past the lonely, empty desert where the sun burned down on Cub’s back, soaking his heavy robes in a deep sweat. He felt thirsty, and tired, but he ignored those feelings to focus on following Scar. It was the one thing he was good at, following someone else through the world. He stumbled on a dead bush, breaking the delicate plant into a pile of sticks. He mumbled a curse under his breath.

Scar gasped, half-snorting at the noise. Cub brushed himself off, slightly irritated.

“What?” he asked.

“I’ve never heard you curse before,” Scar replied.

“Is that…”

“It’s fine.”

“Good,” Cub grunted, satisfied. He felt irritated from the heat and the walking. The mountain seemed no closer than when they had first begun.

The duo continued onwards, Cub a bit more watchful of his feet. He half-wished for Scar’s pants, the skirts of the robe were comfortable, but on the verge of being a bit too big. Each step he took he was careful, making sure that he didn’t trip over the garments. Everything was covered in a thin layer of sand, courtesy of the surrounding desert, that no level of brushing seemed to be able to get off. Scar didn’t notice or didn’t care about these issues, so Cub kept quiet. He did have to admit that it was oddly peaceful, if not exhausting. The world was dry, but the sweat felt nice. If he had a river he could drink from, he wouldn’t mind making a home in the desert. Maybe he could build a giant pyramid for shade, and cover it in redstone contraptions. That’s a project he could think about later. First, he needed to ask Scar something.

“What is redstone?” Cub asked.

“It's a dust you can get from far underground and mold it to make weird contraptions. I once heard someone made a device that can do math with it,” Scar replied. 

“That sounds interesting,” Cub replied, his curiosity beginning to grow.

“Do you remember something?” Scar asked casually.

Cub’s weird dreams rose in his mind at the question, but he pressed that thought down. It wasn’t relevant for the current conversation. “I sometimes think of it with a rather strange fondness. I wonder if I made things with redstone before.”

“It’s probable!” Scar nodded, “the Vex don’t use redstone, so any talent in that area wouldn’t be seen as a threat nor an asset, so you definitely wouldn’t know if you have it tell you try.”

“How could you try? Is the dust rare?” Cub asked.

“Sort-off,” Scar admitted, “villagers will only touch the stuff for potions,. The only way to get mass quantities is through other players and we don’t have time for that.”

“Are we on a time limit?” Cub asked.

“I’m supposed to report back to my mansion every few months. They'll probably be beginning to get worried.”

“What do they do if they get worried?”

“Depends,” Scar shrugged. “Since I’m bringing you, they probably won’t punish me too hard for being late. They like it when I bring back gifts.”

“Is that what I am,” Cub asked, anger rising slightly, “a gift?”

“No, no, that’s not what I…” Scar sighed. “They’ll like having another ConVex. It’s a sign of wealth among Vex. And a way to have gotten back at the mansion who took me.”

Cub shrugged, unsure of how to respond. Scar bit his lip, and stayed quiet too.

.

They reached a river on the edge of a desert before the sun began to set. It was shallow enough to wide through, but Cub still hesitated. He wasn’t sure if he knew how to swim. He had no memory of learning. Rather than teach Cub, Scar had simply built a bridge across the water, allowing for an easier cross that didn’t get either of the duo wet. “We’ll have to teach you to swim sometime. Drowning is scary.”

“The water is so empty,” Cub commented.

“I bet we’ll get a world with aquatic life someday. You can never quite tell with the Devs.”

“Devs?”

“I don’t know much about them, but they are basically player gods.”

“Like the Vex?” 

“The Vex without the whole, kidnap and mindsweep you,” Scar joked.

“Would it be weird,” Cub asked, “to a player if I don’t know this stuff?”

Scar waved his hand in a ‘so-so’ gesture, “You can just say you newly spawned in, but you look old.”

“Thanks,” Cub said, stretching the a with sarcasm.

“I mean that, the longer players tend to have old eyes. You look older, but not too old.”

“Maybe I’m younger than you,” Cub half-joked.

Scar shrugged, “You could be.”

They were walking in a savannah now, bunnies racing away as they trodded through the grassy cliffs. The mountains were close, and more terrifying for their height. The cobblestone path they had seen now had joined them in their journey towards zero, zero. CUb suspected that whoever lived here had built their base their base there, and was curious on what it might look like. He never remembered seeing a… Cub blinked, recounting his vivid dream. He wondered why it kept becoming a point for him to think about. In any case, he had seen playerbuilds in his dream. He had wondered if it had been his memories, but why didn’t he feel like he had memories of seeing something such as another player's builds. It felt like something he should have done.

No matter. The sun was getting further down, and the mobs would pop out soon. Scar’s traverse of the past came with a deeper from every step the two took. “I had hoped we’d’ve reached something by now, we’re only 250 blocks off.”

“What should we do, then?” Cub asked. 

Scar walked up to a tree, and spent a moment punching it down. He put wood and a stick, one from the dead bush, Cub recognized and wondered when he had snatched it, together, creating a simple pickaxe. He swung, and began carving a little hiding hole inside of the mountain. Scar beckoned for Cub to come inside, before blocking the door with some of the stone he had collected. “We can wait out the night in here.”

Cub crouched, and then sat himself down on the hard floor, wishing for the comfort of a mattress, or even a wooden floor. Scar was smarter, and laid out two wooden benches made from the gathered wood, Cub picked himself up and sat down on the slabs. 

“It’s not the most comfortable,” Scar admitted, “but it works. We should have taken some wool from the village.”

“What’s done is done. This is comfortable enough,” Cub replied. Lying down, he felt a wave of exhaustion he had been suppressing all day poke through him. His legs were aching, a good ache of exercise, not the bad ache of torture. He was a great deal more tired then he had realized, and the robes he kept on were like a heavy blanket, providing warmth and comfort. He thought he heard Scar say something else, but only managed a mumbled half-question before he was already asleep.

.

The inside of the house was lightly furnished with chairs and tables, chests and other bits and bobs. The soft scent of cooking applesauce and cinnamon filled his nose. He took a step forward and marvel at the fine woven woolen carpet that covered the floors. A rocking chair in the corner creaked, but when he darted his eyes to the noise, the seat was empty. He took a step forward, feeling the floor. The room was cold. He wished that the fireplace was lit to try and keep away the ever present, ever growing chill. He left the fireplace alone, and instead chose to sit down on an inviting blue couch near to it. The couch was bright compared to the natural colours of the surrounding room, and it almost had a strange sort of glow to its cover. Despite this, it looked old as time, with the small holes and the fuzz sticking out from all ends. He blinked. When had he become so tired?

He disregarded the tiredness he felt. It was normal, he had spent a long day walking, and now he was wherever his body wished him to be. The couch might have been a gift from another player on this lonely singleplayer world. Maybe a traveler passing through. It was simply a piece of furniture that would be good to rest his legs upon. There even was a blanket right there, how bad would it be for him to lie down and fall asleep inside of this dreamy world? There was no reason for him not to. He sat down on the couch, almost holding a breath.

Nothing happened. He heard the bell of a clock. It was once. Twice. Thrice, and onward, stopping once it hit eleven. He let out a sigh, another breath he had almost been holding. Midnight was an insidious hour, but it wasn’t midnight quite yet. He had nothing to fear. Nothing had happened. He just wanted to wrap himself in that almost glowing blue blanket, lie down on this new couch and sleep. It wasn’t like something bad would happen, how silly. It was just a couch. Just a couch he told himself, wrapping himself in the binding blanket. It had to be weighted with how heavy he became curled up in it. He lay his head on one end and his feet on the other, and before the clock cried midnight, he had fallen asleep.

The giggles he heard in the distance weren’t his concern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be longer.
> 
> Also, this scene has no payoff. Like, none. If I was a better writer, I could have literally just written this entire chapter out. While a lot of things in this story don't have much payoff, this is the most blatant example. I actually was considering cutting it out, but I did love the following chapter which needs this one as context.
> 
> (also, the title is a reference to another one of my fanfics. so yay!)


	14. Vex and Sheeps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief interludial format

“Cub!” Scar shook the sleeping figure awake with an unnatural urgency. Cub shot awake, already forgetting whatever visions or dreams he had been partaking in. A communicator was shoved in his face, and Cub blinked, orienting himself to see a list of three names in a list. GoodTimeWithScar, and Zedaph. Cub didn't have time to reflect on why his name had not been given when Scar’s voice continued hissing, “We need to crouch. We can’t let this Zedaph player find us.”

“Why?” Cub asked.

“He’s a player,” Scar reminded.

“And you can’t trust players,” Cub parroted.

“He could kill us.”

“Or worse,” Cub shivered. Scar was crouched in an oddish position, covering his communicator's signal with his body. A loud ‘ding’ broke the silence. Scar frantically looked around, touching large buttons on its interface to mute the comm. Cub caught a glimpse of the chat.

<Zedaph> Hello new players! 

<Zedaph> I don’t see you at worldspawn. Are you alright?

“What do we do?” Cub implored.

“We need to get to zero, zero without them spotting us,” Scar said. “I don’t know how to do that.”

<Zedaph> Don’t worry, you can trust me! I’m best friends with Wormman!

“Who’s Wormman?” 

“I don’t know. Some players go crazy in singleplayer worlds. Maybe this Zedaph did.”

<Zedaph> I love meeting now people :D

<Zedaph> *new

<Zedaph> I could show you my redstone contraptions!!!!

“He knows redstone,” Cub whispered.

“Cub…”

“I want to learn, Scar,” Cub glanced away from the communicator.

“It’s not safe. Maybe someday we can explore your past, but right now we need to escape.”

“He seems friendly.”

“He’s a player! They hate us.”

Cub swallowed. Scar was right. He knew more than Cub did, in any case. Cub stayed still, looking at the communicator with growing internal dread.

<Zedaph> Are you lost? Do you know how to use the communicator?

<Zedaph> If you’re reading this, you just need to press the ‘T’ button and the chat will pop up.

<Zedaph> You can type a response in there.

<Zedaph> It can be short!

<Zedaph> I’m just getting worried :,(

“We can’t not talk,” Cub said, “he might go searching for us.”

“If we talk, he could figure out where we are. I’m surprised he hasn’t teleported to us already.”

“Players can do that?” Cub gasped.

Scar nodded, “Some can.”

“That’s terrifying.”

“It is,” Scar agreed, “especially when you are on the receiving end of it.”

“What can we do then?”

<Zedaph> Oh! I see you in the cliffs there.

<Zedaph> Are you stuck? 

<Zedaph> I’ll dig you out :D

“Oh no.”

Cub’s eyes followed Scar’s to the cobblestone Scar had used to hide the entrance. It worked on mobs, unable to tell much difference between blocks. Players, however? The cobblestone wall was slowly breaking right before their eyes. And there was nothing either Cub nor Scar could do about it. Cub took a step back, pressing himself against the corner of the cave in fear. Scar stood, staring with unshaking eyes at the collapsing cobblestone, almost daring it to collapse. A brick fell in, and the head of a stone pickaxe appeared, breaking away the stones top before continuing it's work on shattering the bottom of the cobblestone. Cub could only catch a glimpse of the man's brown sweater from his position, hidden in the shadows. 

Scar acted quickly, snuffing out the torch and plunging the room into darkness. Cub could only watch as Scar took a step forward, obstructing Cub's view of the approaching player. Cub realized two truths at the exact same time. Scar's face, blank at first glance, was filled with fear. Fear of the approaching player, fear of what could happen? He had put himself in a position to be noticed, and he was, number two, with his body, hiding Cub. He was protecting Cub. Cub crouched lower, struggling not to tremble. He had never truly met a player before. Even Scar was another ConVex. Or, maybe he had, but that was in a life he didn't remember. Cub swallowed. The block broke.

"Hello!" came a bright and deceptively cheerful voice. Cub wished he could see who it belonged to, but he could imagine the player having a bright smile like a Vex's on their face, and evil in their red tinged eyes. "Are you GoodTimeWithScar?" 

Scar took a step forward. He seemed to have the players' entire attention, Cub nonexistent in anyone's mind, and especially the mind of whoever had stumbled upon them. 

"I'm Zedaph," the player introduced, still seemingly unaware of Scar's fear.

"Hello there," Scar said, the words coming out like they were forcefully churned out of a pillar of fear. 

"You can speak!" Zedaph's light voice teased. Scar flinched, blinking a few times.

"I... yes, I guess?" Scar said.

"Oh my goodness, you don't know how long it's been since I've seen another player, well, besides Impulse and Tango but they've been busy so I haven't seen either of them much, but instead I get to see you and you look so cool! I love your hat," Zedaph's voice was quick, too quick for Cub's brain to register everything he was saying. It was like the player was a cat, racing through the savannah quick as could be, difficult to make out as one chased and ran and ran, never catching the stray.

"Thank you..." Scar offered a shy-ish smile. He was shaking ever so slightly. 

"How did you end up in my world? I didn't invite anyone," Zedaph asked.

"Cub- I was worldhopping," Scar explained. 

"Worldhopping!" Zedaph gasped. "That's amazing! Did you see anything cool and new?"

"Not much. I'm just trying to keep traveling, if you don't mind..."

"Well you can't go yet!" Zedaph declared. "I haven't even shown you what I've built. I've been experimenting with redstone and I want to show it off, but Tango's not here."

Cub's mind short circuited. Redstone. Red. Stone. Images of the red dust he couldn't remember seeing filled his brain. He wanted to see it. He wanted to feel the slight spark it held, the way it might interact with  _ his _ Vex magic. He almost missed what Scar continued to speak.

"Why don't you show it off to... Wormman? Was that your friend's name?"

"Well, yes," Zedaph's voice was low and sad, "Wormman hasn't been around either. It's just me." In a flash, the tone brightened, "Until you came along! I love meeting new people!"

"I'm sorry, but I just want to--"

"I want to see the redstone contraptions," Cub spoke up.

Scar took a step forward. Cub could hear his breathing.

"Who was that?" Zedaph asked.

"What? I didn't hear anything," Scar tried desperately. Zedaph walked forward anyway, pushing Scar out of the way. Cub froze when Zedaph's gaze fell on him, taking in the player for the first time. Zedaph didn't have red eyes, or a mean face. His face was bright, like his voice, with the peerings of a smile on it. His eyes practically shone with excitement in their purple color. He wore a thin woolen sweater, brown, certainly villager-made, with buttons keeping it closed, and blue jeans to cap off the simple look. Everything was slightly wrinkled and covered in a layer of dirt and red dust. Even his frazzled blonde hair that stuck up in every direction had flakes of red in it. 

For a moment, Cub and Zedaph merely stared at each other. Then, like tnt had gone off, Zedaph sprung to Cub, examining him with a smile somehow impossibly wide and cheery. Zedaph's voice cried out in happiness, " _ Two _ new friends! This is the best day of my life! I didn't see you on the communicator thingy. Do you program yours to hide you?"

"I don't have one," Cub said.

Zedaph jumped back and gasped, looking at Cub with the most pitying gaze. "That's terrible! I wish Tango was here, he could probably figure out how to make one. Tango is very smart and he has admin magic! But he isn't here," Zedaph spoke the words like it was the most depressing thing ever, Tango not being there. It was all very exaggerated in a way that was helped by seeing the way his body moved with each word. Happy words were accompanied by a shaking that didn't seem to be from fear, but more of excitement. It didn't quite make sense to Cub.

"We really need to move on, Zedaph," Scar said.

"But you just got here," Zedaph said with puppy dog eyes.

Cub walked over to Scar. He gave a comforting touch to Scar, "He seems nice, Scar."

"He's a player," Scar hissed back in a quiet tone. 

"Are all players bad?"

"Yes, well, no, but… gah!" Scar snorted in frustration. "Just… I don't trust him. We can't trust him. It's too…"

"Dangerous?" Zedaph piped in.

Scar flinched.

"I was right here hearing your conversation," Zedaph continued, "and I know, you're new and world travelers and I know some players are mean but I swear I'm nice!"

"How can we trust you?" Scar spat.

"Scar…"

"It's true. We can't. You're a player."

Zedaph's head tilted, "So are you two. Unless…" Zedaph's eyes opened wide and shone, "Are you two villagers? That would be so cool!"

"We're not villagers!"

"He's wearing their robes."

"So? We are not-"

"Scar!" Cub shouted. The two fell quiet. "I want this. I know you have had issues with players in the past, but I need to make my own mistakes sometimes."

Scar shot a dirty look towards Zedaph.

"...Fine," Scar acquinsed, "you two won't go off alone. I'm coming with you."

"The more the merrier!" Zedaph exclaimed. "I love showing off my contraptions."

"Let's just hope they aren't 'kill ConVex' Contraptions," Scar whispered in Cub's ear. Cub glanced at Scar. His voice was filled with hate, but it was clear from his body's shaking where it sprung from. Scar was scared. Cub was scared too, if he admitted it. Zedaph could kill them, or trap them. Cub had never met a player before, but they had hurt Scar. When Zedaph beckoned them to follow and hobbled out the door, Cub followed first, with Scar taking the heel. Cub could feel Scar' eyes boring holes into his neck. He prayed to whatever god players worshipped that he had made the right decision.

Despite the grace he had shown inside the cave, Zedaph's actual movements seemed to be a strange hobbling. It almost felt like Zedaph was having trouble with his feet. Maybe his flopping shoes were a bit too big for him. Maybe he just had some issues with his back. Either way, the march was slow, giving Cub plenty of time to take in the surroundings. Nothing had particularly amazing aesthetics. It was mostly just the default mountains, rising and falling in the surroundings. Trees, grasses, and a large amount of sheep wandered around. In fact, since they had arrived at the mountains, Cub had only seen sheep.

"Do only sheep spawn in mountains?" Cub questioned.

"I wish!" Zedaph replied. Cub blinked. He'd forgotten about the player. Zedaph sprung into the air, landing neatly next to a nearby sheep, with a grace not even Scar could reach. Zedaph knelt down next to the sheep, snuggling its wool. In a loud voice muffled by the wool, Zedaph proclaimed "These are mine!"

Cub took a step closer, just to be held back by Scar. He and Scar locked gazes. 

"What if it's a trap."

"He hasn't hurt us so far. Maybe players aren't as bad as you think," Cub suggested.

"He doesn't know who we are. If he did…" Scar trailed off. He let go of Cub. "Be careful."

"I am, Scar," Cub said. Scar didn't trust him to take care of himself. Then again, Cub didn't trust himself either. Scar knew more than he did, but somewhere along the way, it felt like Scar had lost his trust, the little pieces of his soul that had been lost after years of hardship were different pieces then Cub had.

He walked up to the sheep, hesitantly kneeling beside Zedaph. The sheep looked his way, and Cub was entranced by its eyes. They looked like Zed's eyes, now that he saw them up close. Unlike Scar or him, Zed's eyes had different pupils, lines instead of dots. Just like the sheep right in front of him. It was such an unusual difference, Cub was surprised he hadn't noticed it before. Something inside him nagged, telling him that something was off with Zedaph. The way he walked, his jumps, his eyes. Cub elected to ignore that voice for the moment, and instead concentrate on the animal in front of him. It made a baa-ing noise, before stepping towards Cub. He glanced towards Zedaph, who motioned for Cub to pet the sheep. Cub obliged, marveling at the feelings of wool yet to be made into textiles.

"Wow," Cub said as the sheep began making a happy braying noise.

"Sheep are so much simpler than players," Zedaph said, his gaze far away. "Sheep don't ignore you, or push you around, or hate you for not being human, or anything."

"Aren't you human?"

"Aren't you not?"

Cub and Zedaph stared at each other. Zedaph was completely still. "I'm human."

"Are you?"

Cub blinked, "I…"

"You may be human," said Zedaph, with eyes filled with wisdom, "but players don't like you. There are two types of worldhoppers. Those who are avoiding other players, and those who wish to find… 'special' players like you and I. Your friend has encountered the second ones a lot."

"Then what are you, if you aren't human?"

Zedaph sprang up into the air, kicked off his shoes and pants, to reveal hooves and a pair of sheep-like legs. A small tail sprung out as well, completing the look. Zedaph landed, looking entirely too pleased with himself. Cub could see Scar's leap back from the corner of his eyes. "I'm a satyr!"

"What's a satyr?" Cub asked.

"Half-man," Zedaph pointed towards Cub, "and half sheep!" To emphasize this point, Zedaph hurried gracefully to the sheep, giving it a hug. 

Scar was staring at Zedaph with wide-eyes. "You…"

"I'm like you, see!" Zedaph said, his smile growing wider. "I'm not human and I don't think you are either. So, what are you?"

What was he? What.  _ was. _ he. Cub took a step back, bumping into the sheep. He didn't know. Was he human, was he even a player? Or was he just a ConVex? When had being a ConVex become a bad thing to be? Cub glanced over at Scar, who was just as confused as he was. Scar was tearing up almost crying. Cub's stomach turned. Something was wrong. Scar was frozen in place. Petrified. If Scar wasn't to answer, how could Cub? Cub didn't know who he was. Did Scar know who he was? 

In the end, Cub gave the only answer he could, "I'm not a player. I'm not a villager, but I might be human. Maybe we don't know what we are. Is that so wrong?"

He held his breath, awaiting Zedaph's response. Every moment seemed to be a thousand years with Zedaph. He looked off into the distance. "You know," Zedaph said and Cub froze too. "That's as good an answer as I've ever received. I'm glad to have met you, Scar and Cub."

"I never told you my name," Cub said.

"I know, he," Zedaph nodded towards Scar, "gave it to me when we met, remember."

"I don't remember things," Cub said quickly.

Zedaph nodded thoughtfully, seemingly approving Cub's response. "You remember redstone, yes?"

"Of course," Cub replied.

"Then let's get to my cave. It's not too far from zero, zero, and you two still have a journey ahead, follow me!" Zedaph sprung into the air, leaping much more gracefully as he traveled this time. Cub walked over to Scar. In the conversation, Scar was now standing there, absently staring.

"Are you doing okay, Scar?"

"I guess I don't need to protect you," Scar said unprompted.

"What?"

Scar's smile was forced. "Next world. You need to learn magic. After redstone."

"After redstone," Cub repeated. He joined hands with Scar, and the two followed the bounding satyr.

.

The sun was high in the sky when they arrived at a nondescript cave entrance. Dozens of sheep filled the surrounding area, all manner of colors, creating a rainbow pattern that dazzled both Cub and Scar. He could swear he saw one that shifted between all manner of colors. In the distance, large platforms had been built, shadowy areas where iron golems appeared just to be pushed down a stream. Zedaph had mentioned them as Tango's Iron Farm, a hint of pride in his voice. Scar had made a comment on their aesthetics. Nothing was particularly beautiful, but that didn't seem to bother anyone besides Scar. Scar liked to make things good to look at, beyond pure functionality. Zedaph didn't seem to have that same goal.

"Welcome to my humble abode!" Zedaph introduced, flinging his arms around the hollowed out area, hidden beneath the mountain. Cub was surprised at the scale of the place. Contraptions of all shapes and sizes filled the area, with obvious holes from misuse of tnt. Blocks of redstone were piled around haphazardly, the sheer amount overwelcoming. A bed was flung into the corner of the room, right beside a desk with piles of ripped up papers strewn across the floor. Cub heard a sheep bleat. 

"It's all machines," Scar commented.

"Well, not all!" Zedaph assured, grabbing Scar's hand and racing him to another corner. Cub hiked his skirts and dashed to catch up. He gasped when he saw where the sheep noises had come from. Odd buildings and sheep mixed with one, a clearly disorganized space of either a madman or a genius, and Cub wasn't too frankly sure which Zedaph was. 

"It's… certainly you," Scar ended up settling on. 

Zedaph's smile looked like he had been given the biggest compliment ever, "You… you really think so?"

Scar bit his lip, "...Yes?"

"Impulse and Tango always say that but it never feels real coming from them!" Zedaph exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes. He took a step forward towards Scar, opening his arms, before thinking better of it and crossing them instead. "Could I hug you? Impulse always tells me to ask before hugging someone."

"I… sure."

Zedaph wooed, before leaping to hug Scar. Scar froze in place as the arms wrapped around him, before giving in and returning Zedaph's lovingly physical gesture. Zedaph half opened one eye, looking at Cub, "Get in here you!"

Cub took a few steps forward, before Zedaph physically pulled him into the embrace. It felt nice, if he admitted it to himself, the comforting arms of the satyr pulling him into a warm hug that Cub didn't quite want to ever end. End it did, and soon the trio were looking at each other. Cub had a small grin on his face. Zedaph's giant smile was the opposite of Scar's small, mellowed out, yet still happy look.

"This was really enjoyable." Scar admitted.

Zedaph beamed, "Thank you!"

"I wish I could have seen some of the redstone up close," Cub said.

"It's getting late though, Cub," Scar said.

"You two are weird. Non-human worldhoppers, one without even a broken communicator," Zedaph said. "I hope you find someplace to live someday. What I've carved here isn't much, but it's home. Even if Impulse and Tango are too busy to come around as often."

"Who are Impulse and Tango?" Cub asked curiously.

"They're my two friends! They're very smart with redstone. I'm just messing around compared to Tango's Iron farms and such."

"What you've built here is really cool," Cub responded, "I don't even recognize half of these components and you've made some interesting looking stuff."

"Well," Zedaph smiled, "my dream is to host a game show, someday. But who knows?"

"Who knows," Scar agreed. 

The three stood in silence for a moment. 

"We need to get going," Scar said.

"I understand. Zero, zero is right by my base. I can lead you there," Zedaph said, beginning to walk towards the exit. As they walked together, Zedaph continued "I just have one more question, if you don't mind."

"What is it?"

"Neither of you have denied not being human. However, what exactly are you?"

Cub and Scar looked at each other.

Cub flicked his head.

Scar nodded.

Cub stared at Zedaph, his head raised slightly, "We're vex. Sort-of. It's complicated."

"Vex... " Zedaph hummed, "I've heard about creepers and zombies, but never a vex hybrid before."

"We're not exactly hybrid, either," Scar answered, "but it doesn't matter much."

"No, but maybe we'll see each other again regardless?"

"That would be nice," Cub agreed.

They were there. Zero, zero was marked by another pillar of cobblestone. Cub grabbed a hold of Scar's hand. He didn't squeeze it this time. He knew Scar wasn't going to leave him there. 

"Oh, one more thing," Zedaph said as Scar began dialing the communicator, searching for nearby worlds, "if you see Tango or Impulse, could you tell them to come visit? I miss them and it's lonely here."

"I promise," Cub replied. Zedaph's face was a nervous smile.

"Yeah, thank you. And don't forget--"

Cub didn't find out what Zedaph didn't want them to forget as he was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I almost wrote all this to have this singular chapter I love it though.


	15. Look At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They promise they will be kind.

It was easier, this time, traveling through the void. The code ran past Cub's mind, but the nonsensical shock that had come the first time was nowhere to be seen. He reached out and grabbed ahold of a word racing past. It was a line of constantly shifting letters and numbers that Cub let go of quickly, unable to comprehend the weird symbols mixed in between. It felt friendly, curious, the words almost peering at him from all sides, analyzing him while they constructed and changed his code, his essence. When he and Scar landed in the new world, he felt oriented, ready to go from the start. When they landed in a world surrounded by birch trees, Cub went over to punch one and harvest its wood. Scar joined him in the basic collection efforts.

The monotonous task was continued in silence for a few moments. Cub eventually pierced the world's barrier, "How far away are we from zero, zero?"

"Three hundred blocks. I think we are getting closer to my Vex's. The numbers are just a few digits off," Scar said.

"And then what?" Cub asked.

Scar hummed. "Then… we go home."

"To your home," Cub said.

"My home is your home," Scar said with a small smile that almost seemed to be more melancholy than encouraging.

"What if I wanted to go back to my mansion?" Cub asked, not really feeling anything in his words. He didn't want to go back, and yet, he wasn't sure, after meeting Zedaph, if he wanted to go forward either. If he admitted it to himself, he would be happy living with Zedaph. Zedaph had been so enthusiastic in a way that Cub had never seen, taking the slight shell he had and flinging it open, allowing certainly a different Cub to emerge. He didn't think he liked the idea of going back to the Vex quite as much. If he left right now, he wouldn't try to return. He'd probably keep on wandering and worldhopping until he found a new home.

Which was, on the whole, a dangerous prospect. As much as Cub wanted to believe he could do this, that he could survive without the Vex, what happened to Scar was proof it could not be done. He was a ConVex, and when a Vex mansion found a stray ConVex, they took it. Thinking it over, that was what had happened to him, with Scar. Scar had found Cub and taken him away, not truly caring about his opinion on leaving. He did think it was better for him, he felt so much more free, like the Vex had never hurt him, despite the strange dreams and memories. He didn't want to go to a new mansion, to be taken again. 

"I… Do you want to go back?" Scar asked.

Cub, for the first time, answered truthfully and definitively, "No."

"Then why ask?" Scar tilted his head.

Cub focused his gaze on a blade of grass, swaying softly in the cool wind. "I… I don't…"

"You don't what?" Scar kept prying.

What if I don't want to go to a mansion? Cub thought. He didn't vocalize this thought, instead choosing another, greener blade of grass to bequeath his attention. He wondered what it felt like, how it got its energy from the sun above. It was such a simpler life, waiting to be eaten by a sheep. He wondered if Zedaph ate grass. 

"Cub?" Scar's voice was hesitant.

"I think I need a few days. I'm tired, Scar," Cub whispered. "I'm tired of worldhopping."

"You've barely done it," Scar protested. 

"I know," Cub replied, "I'm just tired."

"You're not tired of worldhopping," Scar analyzed, "you just are scared of the Vex."

"I'm not… scared. I just…" Cub sighed deeply, rubbing his face in a comforting movement. 

"If you want," Scar said, "this world is empty. We could rest for a bit."

"Are you sure?" Cub whispered hoarsely.

"Yeah. I could show you how to build a house."

"I would like that," Cub nodded along to his words, finishing with a smile that lost a lot of his nervousness. 

"Okay, well," Scar smiled, "have you ever built a house before?"

"I've never built before," Cub admitted.

"Building is a lot of fun! My favorite is terraforming, but let's start with the building basics. Okay, first, let's turn some of those logs into planks…"

Slowly and steadily did Scar teach Cub how to slowly help construct a simple birchwood shack, surrounded by flowers. They started a simple mine together to collect the stone they needed, and slowly together wove a mansion. Scar pointed out where to place various blocks in ways Cub never thought to combine. From the birch serving as a structure outside, to the cleverly combined stairs and fences, it slowly became a simple masterpiece. Every so often, Cub simply stood back to look at the building, before Scar dragged him back into the building process. He could see why the builder enjoyed this so much. It was a creative, if vaguely monotonous task. 

"Toss me some more wood, please!" Scar called.

"Coming! Planks or logs?" 

"Planks, and I dropped my crafting table again!"

Cub chuckled, quickly slicing up the wood, before attempting to toss it towards Scar. He frowned as he couldn't quite reach Scar. "You're going to have to climb down, I can't reach you!"

"Just use some levitation magic," Scar called back.

"I don't know magic!" Cub shouted.

"It's easy," Scar said. "Just… focus on moving the items, but with magic, like your shields. You've done it before!"

Cub looked up at the still building Scar, wondering about this latest change. What was Scar playing at, was he… trying to teach Cub magic, like he had promised? Why, then, was he framing it as a matter of convenience instead of the power it truly was. Cub shook his head, refocusing his brain onto what Scar had said. Move the items, but with Vex…  _ his  _ magic. This was his power. He had done it against the zombies, albeit, with Scar's help. Could he do it now? He didn't know, but he scrunched up his sleeves anyway, setting down an easy target to focus on. A single wooden plank. How hard could that be?

He stared at the plank, contemplating how to go about this. He opted to visualize the plank in his mind, noting the squareness and the rough texture, combined with a slight reflectivity. The shadow on the house half-covered it in darkness from the sun's position in the horizon. Yet, beneath all that frivilarity, all the shaders and textures, was sturdy wood, two by four planks built up from wood to create a solid, tight, waterproof, but breathable surface. It could be taken ahold of and picked up by Cub. Could it, however, be taken ahold of by Cub's magic?

What was his magic? It was from the Vex, from some time long ago when they had claimed him as a ConVex, changing his memories to that of an obedient servant, then sold him off to the highest bidder. And still yet… Cub could feel it inside him. He had claimed himself as part-Vex before Zedaph. Wasn't that what he was, then? He was a ConVex, and thus a conduit of the Vex. They would have used him as a puppet to their will, but now, Cub was using what they had left within him, magic, to do his bidding. He was the master of his own self now, not the Vex. He never wanted to return to the Vex. He  _ would _ never return to the Vex, not his Vex. Not even Scar's Vex, as good as he claimed. Not willingly. He didn't  _ want _ to. What he wanted, right now, was for this magic, this blue bubbling that he had used sparingly for the sake of mental shields, to raise the planks to Scar. 

Scar. The man who had taken him away, who had kidnapped him and taken advantage of his vulnerable trust, just to introduce him to a world far greater then he had ever known. Scar, teaching him to distrust others, yet seeming so surprised when Cub hadn't just trusted him. Scar, who, despite everything, maybe this was just some weird syndrome of his brain speaking, he loved. He loved Scar. He could go back to Zedaph's world and its redstone, but… he wanted to stay with Scar. It didn't make sense, similar to how it made little sense that the block was levitating towards Scar, blue light enwrapping it, but it held firm. As Scar took the block levitated, and shouted at Cub with joyous approval, Cub knew he had made the right decision. 

"You did it Cub!" Scar hollered. 

Scar's smile was infectious. Cub wished to demonstrate his newfound ability again, and raised more and more blocks up to Scar. Scar quickly put the finishing touches on the curved rooftop, before neatly leaping off. Cub startled, and caught Scar inside of his levitation field. Scar chuckled as he was slowly set down. 

"You were really good," Scar praised. "The Vex will be able to teach you a lot."

"I'm not going back, Scar," Cub answered, head held high.

Scar blinked, "What?"

"I'm not going back to a mansion. I'm tired of them. This," Cub gestured around, "this is freedom. Why do we need to stay with the Vex?"

Scar bit his lip, "Let's not discuss this now. We had a great day. It's getting late. We should get to bed."

"Scar," Cub tried.

"No. Just... '' Scar sighed, "I'm too tired. There is so much I need to tell you, but it can wait until the morning."

Cub hesitated.

Scar batted his eyelashes, "Please Cub."

Cub relented, "Maybe over breakfast?"

"Sounds good to me," Scar agreed. 

"But we will talk."

"Of course."

Neither Cub nor Scar budged in their gazes. Scar blinked first. 

"Come on, we have some beds. The inside isn't furnished, but we won't be staying here for more than a few days," Cub said, beckoning Cub towards the door of the house. Cub followed Scar inside the room. It was one empty, open space. No floors for each level, no stairs, and somehow Scar had compiled twenty chests that looked to be full of random debris, strings, dirt, and items that Cub had no idea they had even collected. How had Scar compiled this mass so quickly, Cub had no idea. He took a bedroll from Scar and laid it out on the ground, before kicking off his shoes, he hadn't even noticed the aching of his feet, and lying down.

Cub sighed. He was more tired then he had realized, and more than a twinge hungry. He remembered that when they had been clearing out leaves they had found a few apples, so he forced himself back up to his feet to find them. Taking one look at Scar's chest… monster was the apt term, he promptly sat back down. He'd eat in the morning.

.

He was tied up. This took a moment to register, the world was still spinning from whatever exhaustion he felt. While he didn't feel any rope or leads, it was the only logical conclusion for why he was unable to move a single muscle to even push and struggle against any ties. It was a strange paralysis, deep within his mind, refusing to let him go. Each moment was a struggle to find the energy to inhale and calm himself. He was going to be okay. This was all just a dream. He refused to acknowledge the clean,  _ dark oak _ wooden planks that he could see. He didn't let himself notice the red carpet or the fireplace. He didn't want to know. This was a dream. This was a dream. This was a…

_ Oh pet… _

_ You only wish. _

The voices were a familiar cacophony that only caused him to shudder, internally. He still couldn't move a muscle beyond his own pounding heart. He wanted this to be a dream. What could it be if not a dream… a memory? A memory of himself that had been erased from his conscious mind, reappearing now that the Vex weren't around to reinforce his mental self-destruction. Why then did this not feel the vague familiarity of other references, such as redstone. Thinking about it logically, this memory didn't seem to fit in, but it was  _ his _ … wasn't it? A different, more recent memory stirred in his mind, of his mansion and of Scar. He flung it away. He was paralyzed in the mansion of Vex, now wasn't the time to be thinking of other mansions. He needed to focus on surviving this one, dream or memory, or weird vision.

The Vex floated around him, and loosened his paralyzing chains. He shot straight up, tilting his head and hat back to see the Vex circling around him. They all observed him with curious eyes. He felt the vision take over as he shouted, "What are you?"

_ We? _

_ It doesn't know it's place. _

"I am not an  _ it. _ I am he," he snapped.

_ No, no it doesn't.  _

_ Do we punish or forgive… _

_ Maybe let it choose? _

_ We will be rich with the wealth it will bring us. _

"Where am I?" 

They turned to stare at him. One swooped down, causing him to stumble backwards.

_ We are the Mansion of Vex, little player. _

_ You only wish... _

"What do you mean, 'you only wish'?" he asked.

_ Tell me, player, what is it that you want? _

"I want to get out of here! Let me go!" he demanded.

The eyes of the Vex turned angry.

_ That is not the correct response _

He screamed as a sword slid down his skin, and yet, he couldn't move. He stood and took the pain. "I don't... " he cried, "what are you doing, what do you want?"

_ We want you to be our ConVex. _

"What is that?" 

_ We want you to serve us, fully. _

_ Mind, body, heart, soul. _

_ Never disobey! _

_ Always return like a good ConVex. _

_ You should want what we want. _

"But I'm not a ConVex," he said, "I don't even know what a ConVex is."

The Vex's grin grew wider and madder.

_ You will _ .

He did know. He knew what was about to happen, as it had happened before, albeit, maybe, not to whoever's body he was currently inhabiting. Only now, surrounded by Vex Magic and the faces of his nightmares, did he truly understand what had happened to him all those years ago. He hadn't just been taken, ripped away from everything he knew to be used as a servant for unforgiving gods, gods that wished to use him and sell him, gods that only saw him as a symbol of wealth and power, yet were unwilling to so much as budge when he needed something. He had physically been changed, and that was what they were about to do. He couldn't feel his magic, his internal dance that had always felt slightly foreign if so familiar. He could feel only the Vex. The Vex, the Vex with their all seeing eyes and unfeeling gaze that he had thought he had escaped. 

He had never truly escaped. They had kept a part of him, when they ripped out his soul to make it their own. He would never get back what they had taken, and now he was to experience the thievery all over again. He didn't cry, not this time. He just laid helplessly as the Vex went to work. One in the corner of his vision was looking over an ancient tolm. They were directing the others and instructing them how to move. One chirp and he could no longer even pretend to struggle. Another and a Vex phased through him, then another, and another, chilling him to the bone with each piece of magic inside of his body. It was painful in a way he could never describe, like bees stinging his insides, or the chill of ice burning when you slip and fall into a frozen lake, unable to do anything but watch yourself drown, no matter how you struggled, you were frozen solid, ice in your heart. Ice that didn't just leave you frozen and dying. No, that would be too easy. The Vex couldn't properly channel magic through a player's body. Player's weren't good conductors of magic. They had so much conflicting code, with respawn abilities, and other internal magic. In order to let the Vex properly run through his body, they needed to change his code on a fundamental level.

And that is what they did, sinking into his muscles, ripping out the zeroes and ones that made them what they were, flicking switches until they were not entirely, well, human. He screamed and screamed as his body transformed, slowly glowing a blue light shade as his veins were reworked to channel the magic of the Vex. There was no contract, there was no consent. It was a blatant violation of his body and he couldn't do anything about it. He was powerless against the Vex, just a player who had been chosen, ripped from his home, and forced to become what the Vex wanted him to be. What did the Vex want him to be? Did they wish for him to die here, as he felt like he would.

Yes, he would die here and now. He couldn't even think for want of an end to the constant crippling pain that overwhelmed his mind and body. He just wished for the world to be quieter, the mad giggles overhead hurt his ears in their cacophony. He could look down and see the Vex surrounding him through eyes that had shifted from their original yellowish color (though he didn't know how he knew that his eyes were  _ yellow _ originally) to a green as the light mixed with the cyan. It was just pain. Too much pain for him to cope, and there, surrounded by the giggles of Vex and the world around, is where he wanted to die permanently. He prayed to every god of the players he knew, jeb_, Dinnerbone, CornerHard, and, yet, no answers were given. Just more emptiness.

_ Oh player _ .

The voices of the Vex were singing in such harsh tones. He could shudder, and so he did.

_ None of your gods can help you now.  _

No, no they couldn't. He wasn't a player, he was… something else. The burning was fading, and now, after everything, he could think clearly for the first time in what felt like hours. He tried to move, but only his fingers would slowly allow his hand to be closed into a loose fist, albeit, with more sensations of pain. Every muscle ached, every vessel ached, but now, he could feel something inside of him. It was a loose, pleasant tingling in his mind and body that he could feel was familiar. Familiar and foreign. Vex Magic, at least, a place to properly channel it. They had given it to him. Now that he had it, he did not know how he had managed without it. He was crying, ever so slightly. Streams ran from his eyes and onto the floor. A Vex swooped down, landing neatly on his chest. He moved his eyes down and looked his gaze on his tormentor. A tormentor, and yet, the little, the powerful Vex had taken him and fixed something in him he hadn't even recognized as broken. If he could move his mouth, he could tell he would be thanking them.

_ What is your name? _

He couldn't answer. He could still hardly move. Everything ached. The Vex were displeased, he could tell. They didn't concern for him, so much as wish for him to serve immediately. He didn't move, just stayed in his uncomfortable, but at least not painful, position. A Vex flew through him, and he suddenly felt a pleasant, warm tingling flow through his body. He gasped, slightly, as his muscles went through a feeling of deep relief, like a healing potion had been injected directly within them. He blinked, before slowly beginning to move, stretching out muscles that no longer screamed in pain.

_ Now… _

_ What is your name? _

He opened his mouth to answer, and the wrong word slipped out before he could stop it, "Scar."

_ Scar....  _

_ You are our ConVex now. _

"What does that mean?" he asked, a small sense of dread growing inside him.

_ You serve us.  _

_ But we will be kind! _

_ We've never had a ConVex before. We found a book to make one. _

_ Most of us smaller mansions don't have them. You can help us gain treasure! _

"Okay," Scar replied, "how?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever have a sudden realization of 'huh, I'm really not safe'?


	16. Talk Around the Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sort through the head, not the chests.

Cub shot awake, breathing in heavily. Scar was still asleep, Cub could hear his soft snores. He didn't know Scar snored, he'd always fallen asleep before him. His stomach rumbled louder. He slowly crept to his feet stretching and letting out a silent yawn as he finally forced himself to the chest monster. He scratched the side of his head, and his fingers felt the beard he had again. He had been clean shaven in his dream. Either that, or simply unable to grow hair. He wasn't quite certain.

Digging through the chest monster took a long enough time that Cub vowed that he would never let his chests get this untidied. It was a pain, but eventually, he uncovered the apples, as well as a bowl filled with water he could use to wash his face. He plucked a comb and a piece of woolen cloth as well, before settling himself in a corner to groom himself. His beard was long, but he didn't wish to trim it without a proper mirror. After enjoying one of the apples, he set about slowly removing the many tangles that infested his beard from lack of proper care. He didn't remember the last time he had actually sat down and done this. 

He was about half-way through when Scar awoke. Scar took one look at Cub, sighed, and sat down in a different corner, building a furnace to cook something up to eat. Cub only half-watched it, too busy focusing on the steady strokes. The tangles hurt sometimes to work out, but he knew that, in the end, it would be better. He used the water not just to wet the hairs, but to also serve as a sort of mirror. When he finished, he thought he looked much better than he did at first. The beard was still too long, but it wasn't a matted silverfish nest. 

"You look good," Scar said, walking towards Cub with a bowl of what looked to be a simple mushroom stew. 

"Thanks," Cub responded, taking the stew and taking a sip. It was more refreshing on his stomach then the apple had been.

"I told you we'd talk, yesterday," Scar said softly.

Cub sighed, "We need to."

"Yes, we do."

The two sat in silence.

"I don't even know where to begin," Scar admitted, head down towards his soup.

"Nor do I," Cub said, keeping his gaze on Scar, "but we need to start somewhere. We can go back if we need to."

"Okay," Scar whispered hoarsely. It took Cub a moment to notice Scar was crying. Cub froze for a moment, a bit uncertain of what to do, before setting down his stew, and offering a hug to Scar. Scar leaned into the touch, shivering ever so slightly. 

"It's going to be okay," Cub whispered, rubbing circles into Scar's back.

"I know. But I did something Cub. I didn't just mess with your head, I put something inside of it."

Cub froze. 

"It's… it's going to sound crazy," Scar continued, looking everywhere but Cub, "but… I put some of my memories inside your head. Some of the ones I knew that your mansion would have wanted to take away from me. I could feel them trying to erase them, to… make me  _ you, _ " Scar shuddered, "you don't remember what has happened to you, it's a hole in your mind and I can feel it. I… I used that hole. I hid my memories there, because you were already broken. They wouldn't have suspected you to hide that from them, and you didn't get a choice to."

"Scar…" Cub began. He scooted back from Scar, but the other ConVex grabbed his hand.

"I violated your mind. If they had known, they probably would have permakilled you, but I was so damn  _ selfish _ I just wanted to protect my own mind. I don't know what's in those memories, I just know I knew they were important, but the truth is, I don't know how to get them out. I can't steal memories, I only learned to move my own. But I  _ won't _ tear down your walls," Scar's voice turned firm, "I violated you so much. I wouldn't be surprised if you can't forgive me for that, but the only way I can get my memories back is if you let me in."

"So," Cub's voice was a bit raw, "they weren't dreams. I was you, or at least, I saw what you remembered."

"What… what was it?" Scar asked, trembling.

"A lot of walking," Cub listed, "a lot of builds. I went to sleep on a couch, and I woke up and was transformed into a ConVex. Well, you were. But that…" he sighed even deeper, "that all probably happened to me as well, at some point."

"I… I don't remember," Scar replied.

"I can't get my memories back," Cub thought, "but you can."

"What do you-"

"You lied to me, Scar," Cub said, staring into Scar's green eyes. "You lied, you kidnapped me, you invaded my mind…"

Scar nodded along, how could he deny Cub's piercing words.

"...and, most of all," Cub finished, "you saved my life."

Scar blinked, "What?"

"Without you," Cub explained, "I'd still be in that mansion. I don't know what's going to happen next, I don't want to go to your mansion, but this is what I do know. You saved me. I trust you Scar. What do I need to do to help you?"

.

Cub lay down on the soft bedroll, focusing on keeping his breathing calm and collected. Scar was biting his lip as he scrolled through his comm, bringing up long texts that appeared to be scanned in from the books Cub had seen in his dream. Scr had commented on the weirdness of knowing that this knowledge was in his communicator, but not remembering when he had scanned it in. It was a weirder memory, and Cub wondered how many more he hadn’t dreamt in his weird headspace. Scar mentioned believing he had crammed as many of his important memoires as he could inside Cub, and not for the first time did Cub wonder how many that actually was. 

It didn’t matter to him. He was tired of them, and was glad to not deal with the dreams, or were they nightmares, plaguing his sleeping hours. So, with that in mind, it did matter to him. 

“Okay,” Scar sighed, “okay. I think- I think I can do this. I’ve done it before right? Muscle memory still stays without the actual memory?”

Cub reflected on his instinctive knowledge of things such as names. He only briefly considered the innocuous things he didn’t remember. It was going to be okay, he had to keep lying to himself, for the sake of Scar. With a smile, he replied, “Of course.”

“Cub, I don’t want to hurt you,” Scar said, “if this… if  _ I  _ fail, you could lose your entire memories.”

“Good thing I’m used to it then,” Cub joked, his voice a bit too lighthearted for the weight in the air. 

“Cub…”

“I trust you Scar,” Cub insisted. “I might not always, and I don’t think I’d ask you to build a redstone contraption--” Scar giggled, “--but in this, I’ve seen your magic. You haven’t messed up my mind yet.”

“No, just drugged you and stopped you from questioning my actions,” Scar’s voice was filled with regret and hatred.

“Have you done that since?”

“I…” Scar’s lip bled slightly, “what if it’s still in your head? What if that’s why you trust me? I shouldn’t have done that. It was wrong and I wasn’t thinking.”

“If you are still subconsciously ordering me to trust me,” Cub thought, “you’ll see it when you are in my head. And the fact you are worrying about this makes me inclined to believe I should trust you.”

“But I don’t trust me,” Scar whispered. He was crying again, his eyes red and heavy. 

“And I do, and I want this. I need you to trust you Scar. You deserve to have your memories,” Cub squeezed up, before relaxing his muscles again, “even….  _ Especially _ if I can’t.”

“Okay,” Scar’s voice was calming, his breath evening. He slowly raised a hand to Scar’s forehead, pressing down slightly. Cub felt a wave of exhaustion flow through his body. He closed his eyes, accepting the intrusion as he disassembled his mind's barriers to create an easy pathway for Scar to access his deepest memories.

“I love you Scar,” Cub breathed. Moments before he fell unconscious, he heard a reply.

“I love you too.”

.

He was in a world where time didn’t seem to make sense, a world of light and chaos. He had only one urge, protect. He had been told to suppress this urge as the intruding blue began to poke around the world. It was a violating tentacle in the mindscape, peering over memory after memory, to compare it with their own and observe. It wasn’t attacking or removing, so he stayed quiet. Before, when the very powerful blue with the mad laughter that drove the mindscape into a feeling of panic and fear, he had flung himself at the blue with all he had. It invaded and twisted and changed, warping memories to its cause and forcing compliance from the mind and body. He hated the blue, even if the conscious parts of him didn’t.

This blue was similar in aura, and yet so different in the way it acted. It felt more a part of him than the last blue, but still he remembered. He remembered this blue, and its last invasion, how it had injected false memories in. He hadn’t fought it then, the overwhelming blue was too powerful for him to concern himself over a smaller and weaker invader. The memories it left behind were encased in a shell, like a membrane that contained and separated them from the rest. He occasionally watched over the memories, seeing visions of Vex and builds long forgotten. Compared to the other invaders, this was a peaceful storage, with a request to preserve. And so, he did preserve the memories, keeping them safe and secure. He assumed that was why the blue light was back here. It wished to have its memories back.

He saw no advantages to continue as a storage system for the memories of someone else, and thus, he helped guide the light to where he had safely stowed the memories away. It seemed to appreciate the help, and they continued in silence. He showed the hole in the mind where the memories had stayed hidden. Flashes of the memories appeared and vanished in their incorporeal, code like form. Zeros and ones were automatically translated to the ideas of the most basic Java, the language of the originals, until they were warped into images. The light flickered in recognition as it slowly absorbed the foreign ideas and concepts. The hole in his mind slowly reappeared, until all he could remember was the memory of having them.

The light probed out at him. He accepted the handshake, the motion of acknowledgement, before following the light out, slowly repairing the mental walls as it left. It was oddly peaceful, floating through the mind with a… friend. One who wasn’t intent on causing harm and damage, one that just wished to retrieve what was given, and remember who they were. They seemed nervous with their flashes and shaking, their form wasn’t corporeal, after all. At the edges of the mind, that was where he stayed, watching the light of Scar exit peacefully. Staring into the distance of the clouds, that was where he sat down, sighing with contentment. And thus, he reawakened, not unchanged, but not broken.

It was a good feeling.

“Scar,” he said, blinking his eyes open. Scar blinked, and his eyes shifted from their glowing blue back into the steady and stable green.He was leaning over Cub, a worried look on his face.

“Are you okay Cub,” he asked hurriedly.

“Yes,” Cub sighed in a relief he didn’t know he was still holding. “I’m fine. Do you remember?”

“I do,” Scar said, “I… it’s worse than I thought.”

“What did you think?”

“All I could remember were the happy memories with my Vex. Those were fine in their eyes. Now I have the bad parts, and I don’t like the bad parts.”

“Do you want to go back?”

“I…” Scar’s voice hitched, “I don’t know.”

.

The rest of the day was spent in silence. Scar chose a corner and sat down, looking far away. Cub wondered if he was reliving the memories he had long since suppressed. He looked tired and worn out, there in the corner surrounded by birch wood. Cub laid a few blankets on him to make sure he was comfortable, before choosing to go outside and enjoy the sun. The world was a strange peacefulness, no one around. Chickens clucked and cow’s mooed, but beyond that the quiet was enjoyable. Cub liked quiet, it was like silence, but better in an odd way. The forest was beautiful, with its flowers sprouting around and the shadows simply there to provide tranquility. He decided to go for a walk, and weave around the trees, but not daring to go too far for the fear of getting lost. He wondered if there was a village in this world. He wondered if there were cats, or players, or any other of the things he’d come to enjoy.

Birch bark was like paper, easy to rip off. Some of the older trees had much ripped off from the cows and sheep that used it to scratch themselves. He could even see small flecks of wool, fur, or feathers near those places. When he found an egg, he pocketed it, planning to cook it up for Scar and his dinner. He thought about trying to climb up a tree and see what was above the canopy. Scar had been the one to build most of the roof of the house they had made, and thus Cub had yet to see such a view. He chose a tree, and slowly began to scale it, one foot after the other. One branch, then to the next, he climbed higher and higher, until the sun warmed his face from it’s home high above the world.

The view was beautiful. Trees sprawled out for what seemed to be miles, with mountains in the distance. Towards the sunrise, the birch gave way for a mighty oak forest, and to the sunset,a beautiful and vast ocean. Cub hoped that the coordinates lead to an ocean someday. He had never seen so much water in all the life he could remember. He wanted to stop categorizing what he did and did not remember. He would never get those memories back. He didn’t have the luck of Scar, to not have the Vex take them, nor did he hide them away inside his mind. He hadn’t been able to. Now, was the only life he had. What happened before, it didn't matter. That Cub was dead, and he was now here. He was Cub, and he had never seen an ocean up close, and, therefore, someday he would. Maybe not in this world, but maybe the next. If not the next, then the one after next.

He didn’t have to stay in one mansion. He was free, for the first time, and… and now, he could do what he pleased. He was sitting on a tree, staring at an ocean as the sun set below the horizon, crying, but he was able to do that. He didn’t need permission. They had taken him, but he had left them. They might be a part of him, he might have their magic, but it wasn’t theirs anymore. He was Cub, and he was a ConVex and a player, but those were simply adjectives. In the end, he was his own. 

With the sun setting, he climbed down the tree, head held high and stride assured, plucking up another few apples on his way. They might make a good applesauce to go with the egg, or he and Scar could eat the apples raw, and savor their juiciness. He opened and closed the door quickly, to prevent any stray skeleton arrows from searching for a target inside. Scar was now tidying up his chest monster, but half-heartedly, as if for want of something better to do. They exchanged a quick greeting as Cub lit the furnace.

“Could I cook?” Scar asked.

“I don’t want you to do all the work--”

“--No, no, it’s… I like cooking, but I don’t often get to share it,” Scar reassured. 

“Do you want me to keep organizing your chest monster?”

“It’s not a monster! I have a system.”

“Yes, a system of disorganization,” Cub shot back. 

Scar snorted. He took the egg and apples from Cub’s hand. “How would you feel about egg drop soup? I gathered some herbs earlier. They should be somewhere…”

“That sounds delicious Scar. You can start the broth, I’ll search for the herbs.”

Cub wasn’t the neatest person, yes, but Scar took it to a whole new level of unorganization. Nothing seemed to be placed in the right spot, and if Cub didn’t know better, he would almost say it was deliberate. He found the herbs Scar had mentioned buried under a chest filled with saplings and some cobblestone. He left the cobblestone, but took the saplings to a ‘nature’ chest he had started, before handing the herbs off to Scar for cooking. How did Scar cook so good, Cub couldn’t hazard a guess. Somehow his chaos worked, and he usually managed to get the ingredients in on time for a good meal. The way Scar quickly chopped up the herbs with a stone knife, precisely delicate in a way Cub wondered if he’d ever managed to achieve, the way his body moved in fluid motion as he transferred from the small crafting table he used to cut to the cooking furnace, Cub admired it all, for just a moment, before going back to work sorting the chests. 

He was nearly done when Scar called out that the soup was ready. Cub finished up the last chest quickly, before bringing over a bucket of water for the two to wash their hands in. As they nestled down, Cub asked a question that had been poking at the back of his mind, amongst all the more important things to worry about. “How come in some worlds, we get hungrier quicker than others?”

Scar didn’t seem to expect that question to start the meal. He swallowed his soup, and formulated a response, “Probably the world type. Some worlds are harder to live in then others, and in a harder world you need more food. I’ve heard on some worlds, players just carry around stacks of steak to constantly sustain them.”

“Is that a type of world you would want to live in?” Cub asked.

“I… hm,” Scar thought, “I don’t think I would be averse to it, but I don’t want to live in a singleplayer world again. I built all this stuff, but I never got to share it with anyone.”

Cub was quiet. “Except me.”

“Except you,” Scar agreed.

“You’re a very talented builder,” Cub said, “it would be nice if you could share that talent to make beautiful things.”

“Like… in a multiplayer world?”

“Yes. One with other players we could share with.”

“It’s hard to find a good multiplayer server,” Scar thought, “a lot of the smaller ones collapse and that can be dangerous.”

“How so?” 

“Maybe it’s just legends and mythos,” Scar said, “but to the players, Vex like ours are myths. I’ve heard of being that stir up conflict amongst their group. Let’s not mention that we are ConVex. Players might think we had a choice. They might attack us, and I’m… I don’t want to break apart a group for what I am.”

“We’re not going to lie about who we are. Not to anyone who matters,” Cub agreed.

“But that’s what makes it dangerous. The Vex don’t like rogue ConVex. I can remember now, they spend a lot of energy transforming us, don’t they?”

“Yep.”

“That’s… that’s why your old Vex would have been so excited to find what they thought was one. They didn’t have to figure out transforming and could just…”

“...Just, make you relearn how to serve the way  _ they _ wanted you to.”

“Exactly.”

“And they could kill everyone on a server to get to us.”

“Especially my mansion. They’re going to be upset that I was away for so long. If I never return, they might search for me, and if they do…”

“Yep. That’s not something we want to happen,” Cub agreed, “I don’t want us putting a server in danger for our sake.”

“So what do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Cub admitted. The duo sat in silence for a moment, each considering their options. Cub reflected, briefly, of the worlds he had seen. They weren’t a lot, but… 

“What if… we find a place for you, and I go back,” Scar suggested.

“What? No!” Cub said firmly, “I’m not leaving you with the Vex.”

“No, the idea would be… we find you a world, an SMP, somewhere for you to live on. Then, I go back,” Scar swallowed, “face the Vex, and ask for them to let me leave.”

“What if they say no?”

“Then they probably wouldn’t let me leave the mansion anymore,” Scar’s voice was quiet and honest.

“Scar, I can’t let you face them alone.”

“I’ll be fine Cub,” Scar reassured, “they are my masters. They have been good to me. They don’t punish me even when I deserve it.”

“You don’t deserve to be punished,  _ you _ taught me that,” Cub responded.

“I… I guess I did,” Scar replied. “If you come back, they’ll keep you. I can’t guarantee we will escape again. Not together.”

“Didn’t you have grand schemes of them teaching me how to use my magic as well as you do?” Cub said, a slight sarcastic twinge.

“That was a lie, a lie I made in my head,” Scar replied, “I have the memory back of making that false memory, to deceive your Vex into thinking I wasn’t as powerful.” Scar’s laugh was hoarse, “seems I deceived myself as well.”

“This is weird.”

Scar smiled sadly, "Yeah.”

“But, where would we even find an SMP, or a world. What we’re doing is good and all, but these worlds are abandoned by others, and probably for a reason.”

“Well, we’d have to go to a world hub.”

“I thought those were dangerous for us.”

“They are,” Scar nodded. “Think you can handle some danger?”

Cub leaned back and stretched. “I handled the Vex manipulating me for years, and I’d say I came out okay despite that. How hard could a worldhub be?”

Scar giggled, “Don’t jinx it.”

“So, we leave tomorrow?” Cub suggested, “or do you want to stay here a few more days and finish sorting out… that.” Cub nodded to the half-cleaned up mess of a chestmonster.

“Honestly Cub,” Scar replied, his voice filled with the air of fake seriousness, “I think it’s hopeless.”

“Is there a Vex spell for ‘clean and sort everything up’?”

“If I find one,” Scar said, “I’ll let you know.”

“I’m not the one who needs it!”

When Cub went to sleep that night, not bothering to clean the dishes when the world wasn’t even one he would be going back to, he didn’t have any weird dreams, except for one about a twenty block tall cat, but he had a feeling that one wasn’t one of Scar’s memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title makes me wish I had included Stress in the story even if she didn't work with the timeline I was following.


	17. Where Realms Collide

Neither bothered to clean up the mess they had left. It was another unfinished project that they would never need to return to. Why both with something no one was to see was the general feeling between the two though Cub did tidy up the last of the sections he had to finish. It was just another way to pass the time and ignore that they were about to embark on an entirely new chapter in their lives. The junk from the old was left behind, and now, they both were ready to be free from the bonds they had imposed upon themselves. They were ConVex and no matter what happened, for now, they had each other. 

Of course, they wouldn't have each other forever, Cub reflected. If he found a home, he would be leaving Scar behind. Scar was steadfast that he wished to stay with the Vex, no matter what sorts of cruelty they'd impose onto him. It made only a miniscule of sense to Cub, after all, he'd spent so long with his Vex, it wasn't until Scar had dragged him out of there and to his senses didst he truly decide to stay away. He refused to put Scar through that. Scar was free to make his choice and he had. Any mental manipulation the Vex had put him through was, at least, not magical. Then again, Cub knew enough about the player psyche that maybe Scar was still not okay, even if the force that compelled him to stay with his Vex wasn't magical, it was still strong as any binds. Cub almost could admire Scar's steadfast devotion, if it didn't mean the two would have to part ways.

Disregarding that, Cub looked forward to what would happen next, if he took it independently of Scar. He would be given the chance to make it on his own, and while the Vex would be an ever looming threat, he was certain he could do this. He was a ConVex, and that meant more than even the Vex knew. They saw them as servants, beings to show wealth, but Cub now could see. A stray ConVex was an enemy to all Vex, as they had the power, but with freewill. Cub had freewill now. He was free. 

He had made his choice. He led the way out the door now, not even looking back at the house that he and Scar had so carefully constructed together, a labour of love between the two, he marched forward, occasionally checking back on the compass on Scar's communicator to make sure that they were on the right direction. Cub wished he had one of those communicators. Maybe the world hubs they were about to explore would have one for sale. He decided to suggest this to Scar, casually. It may be a short walk, but it was a simple enough question.

Scar shot him down as soon as he brought the idea up, "Communicators are tied to a specific player, and losing them is rare. You'll have to get a new one custom made and I don't know where to go for that."

"Couldn't we search for someone?" Cub suggested.

Scar shook his head, "World hubs are really dangerous. You have the places the admins are active and moderate everything, but in the shadier areas? You could get kidnapped or worse."

"What could be worse?" Cub asked.

"I once heard about someone who was taken to a hardcore world and forced to fight to the death in a series of pvp tournaments," Scar said.

Cub shuddered, "Okay. Stick to trodden paths. Be wary of strange players. Don't get lost. Find some place to live."

Scar stopped walking. Cub reached out, grabbing Scar's head and squeezing it to either reassure himself, or Scar. He didn't really know, at this point. 

"If we stick together," Scar said, "everything will be fine."

They wouldn't be sticking together. The entire point of this was for them to leave each other. That, however, remained unspoken between the duo. Cub didn't want to acknowledge that he was leaving Scar, and Scar didn't want to leave Cub. 

When the world began to fade around them, Scar leaned into Cub, embracing the man beyond the simple handhold required for the transfer of worlds to work effectively. He and Cub hugged as the world faded around them, and, together, for truly the first time, did they shift between worlds together. It was a different journey, when the two were together and touching in such an oddly intimate way. Cub didn't focus on the memory corruption errors, nor the strange letters and numbers that zoomed past, that he could almost read. No, he focused on Scar, closing his eyes. As long as Scar was there, everything would be alright. As long as Scar was there...

.

They emerged in a world, surrounded by more people than Cub had ever seen. That was his first impression, sheer shock. The place was massive, towers everywhere composed of the finest materials, golds and stones, with a healthy mixture of stairs and slabs. They weren't quite as personal as the quaint cottage he and Scar had built, but they sure were impressive. The world was loud, players of all shapes and sizes, hybrids and humans, all journeying around and chatting to one another. Cub counted three creepers, an enderman, and six ocelots before it began to hurt his head. There had to be the entire world here, in this open space flourished with flowers and authority. Cub spied a sign and read it allowed to himself and to Scar, "Welcome to Worldhub #6 entryway C."

"I choose one of the smaller hubs, to... not overwhelm you," Scar said, shifting his eyes around at every nearby player. No one was wearing much armor, and some just seemed lost. 

"Who are those people?" Cub asked, referring to a group just wandering around, taking in everything with wide-eyed fascination that even Cub couldn't match for his first time visit, "They look like they've never seen a build before."

"They might not have," Scar spoke, "players just spawn into random worlds, they might have stumbled in here on accident. But don't stare, you don't want anyone to get offended."

Cub nodded, and tried to find something besides the players to focus his gaze on. Now that he had passed the initial state of shock at everything, he could appreciate the smaller details. The world was very much a quieter place then he initially thought, as they moved out of the spawn in the area, Cub noted empty corners of greenery, especially on the edges of the tall walls disguised like mountains. The terraforming was obvious, but well done. He just wished it was less bright and tacky. Tacky. That was a word he thought fit this place to a tea. Everything was too much, and that was too much. He wished the paths weren't made out of screaming wool, and instead had a more muted dirt path, or potentially wooden planks. Everything seemed to clash in a way that it was purposefully bad. Even some players wore outfits that seemed 'purposefully bad'.

"Where are we going first?" Cub decided to ask Scar.

"Well," Scar asked, "where do you want to go?"

"What are our options?"

"There's the multiplayer recruiting areas down that way," Scar nodded to an open path that was covered in more wool. Cub didn't understand the love the builders had for this terrible block pallette, "Down that path are the pvp areas as well."

"What are in the pvp areas?" Cub asked. He didn't have much recognition of player to player combat, but he felt he might enjoy it, if he had the right partner.

"Mostly just people punching each other in hunger games matches," Scar said, "occasionally someone famous will participate and everyone will lose their minds."

"Combats okay, but I don't want to do it all the time," Cub voiced.

"I don't have interest in it at all. I can fight," Scar assured, "I just would rather do literally anything else."

"What's down that hallway?" Cub gestured to a much more crowded area, where most of the players spawning in seemed to be walking towards.

"There's a sign right there. I don't know every corner of this map!" Scar called.

Cub walked past a bird posing next to a giant tree made of glass. On a pole thirty blocks high, were simple signs that screamed in bold coloration where each path led. He skimmed over the first area, reading aloud, "Singleplayers, forums, merchandise."

"Merchandise is a good area to go if you want unique items," Scar commented, "at least, if you have diamonds. I always see ten things I want and can't get!"

"You mean... things like clothing?" Cub asked in confirmation.

"Clothing, plushies, you name it, they have it. But you need money and I'm broke. Unless you have some spare diamonds around," Scar shrugged. 

Cub mentally noted that. Maybe he would get enough diamonds someday. He didn't know everything. "Is it going to be an issue, not having money here?"

"It shouldn't be," Scar said, "most of what you do with diamonds is throw them at famous players and beg them to say your name."

"Are there any names I should know?" Cub asked.

Scar shook his head, "I was never interested much in that side of the community. We'll have to go down this path anyway, it might be near where some of the celebrity corners are and I could show you."

"I thought you avoided this place," Cub said, a bit surprised at how much Scar seemed to know about the nearby area.

"I do," Scar agreed, "but I've been here before, I guess."

"In your past life's memories," Cub said quietly.

"It's not a past life," Scar defended, "it's just... before."

"I consider my life before to be dead and gone."

"You also don't have any memory of it."

The two stood in silence, staring at each other in slight tempere. Some pushed Cub to the side, barging past him with no regard. Cub whipped around, irritated, for Scar to hold him back.

"We don't want to start fights," Scar warned. He added in a whisper even Cub could barely hear, "We're not safe here. It's fun, but we need to be on our guard. Loud players either disappear or become famous, and we can't afford either right now."

"I know, but are the people here always this... rude?" 

"Pretty much," Scar shrugged. 

Cub sighed. He guessed not everyone was Zedaph, "Do you think that Zedaph's friends could be here?"

"They're probably off on some world somewhere. I feel bad for the guy, they might have abandoned him," Scar sighed. "I don't... I don't like being alone."

Cub pulled Scar into a hug, "You're not alone, you have me."

You have me for now. Cub decided he wanted to avoid the SMP and Singleplayer world sections. Going there, finding a place? That meant leaving Scar behind. He couldn't do that. Not now. 

"Well, there's another sign, maybe we could go in that direction?" Scar suggested, pulling away from the quick embrace.

"Do you want to...?"

"No, please, please read it. I'm..." Scar took a moment, biting his lip, "I'm very bad with words. I get them all mixed up on signs and such."

"So, like dyslexia?" the word came out of Cub's mouth with instant recognition. Scar's eyes widened slightly in an apparent display of surprise.

"Well, exactly," Scar laughed slightly.

"This sign says 'Redstone', 'Modding', and Farms," Cub read off.

"You wanted to learn redstone," Scar noted.

"Yes... I really do," Cub half-chuckled, the laughter, while not forced, was an attempt to mask his awkward and strange fear at the idea of actually meeting redstoners, in a group. What inventions and tricks would they have come up with that would blow Cub's meager knowledge of the redstone's powers out of the water? What if they didn't like him.

"Then," Scar slung his arm around Cub's shoulder, "what are we waiting for! These are your people!"

"I... yes. Let's go," Cub agreed. He took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling, before following Scar down the bright, sparkly, too tacky woolen highway, through the hallways of mountains, to another world unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'mma be honest, seeing your comments makes me squeal and flap my hands.


	18. Robots and Humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two new players joined the game...

  
  


To Cub’s pleasant surprise, the garishness was soon replaced by a sleek modern look of iron and stone mixed in with terraformed greenery. The paths looked technical in their geometric designs, with redstone used as aesthetic decoration. It surprised Cub, somewhat. He hadn’t expected the redstoners to also understand the basics of design. Observing the nearby area more, however, Cub found he understood the hidden brilliance of the lines. They weren’t lines, they were marking and designating chunk borders! Certain chunks had green in them, presumably marking slime chunks. All this was displayed in a geometric pattern that anyone with a basic knowledge of redstone could begin to comprehend. The paths changed blocks as they split, Cub assumed that the ‘glitched like’ blocks lead to the modding areas. He walked past them, but paused when he saw what he assumed to be the area for farms, based on the elaborate iron pathways leading to it.

“Scar?” 

“Yeah?” Scar responded, keeping close to Cub.

“MInd if we take a peek down there?” Cub asked.

Scar shook his head, “No, not at all.”

Scar and Cub walked down the iron path to an area with several players in it. A man with cat ears and a red shirt was in one of the corners, quietly taking notes on an area where several iron golems stood. Villagers bustled around their daily business, ignoring the nearby players as they went about their daily tasks. Inside, a robot with glowing red eyes was continuing to construct what Cub assumed to be an iron farm. He was bickering what a man in yellow garments, but Cub was too far away to catch their conversation. He walked up, admiring the sleek design. 

“Have you tried using glass instead?” the man in the yellow shirt suggested.

“Yess I have, Impulse. That’s not the issue!” the robot called back.

Cub zoned out the bickering, wandering next to a more simple farm concept that used a green block Cub had never seen before that appeared capable of sticking to other blocks and moving them around. With this design, someone was powering an overly efficient chicken cooker. He could follow the basics of what was going on, but a lot of the concepts Cub was finding to be completely foeign. He wondered if redstone had changed at all. It had definitely been a while since he’d explored it at all. He heard the loud braying of a sheep in trouble, and turned around to watch as a sheep disintegrated into lava. The creator of the farm was struggling to haul another sheep to test his farm, water flows pushing the sheep around only so well. It headbutted the player, baaing even louder. This seemed to catch the ear of the robot.

The robot jumped off their iron farm, marching their way towards the man and their sheep. Scar shuddered beside Cub. Cub instantly regretted coming here. Scar didn’t seem to enjoy these farms and the death they held. Neither, however, did the robot. In an angry voice, the robot yelled, “Hey, no killing sheep!”

“This isn’t your forum. I can show off my sheep farm if I want to,” the other man spat back, “I know you have a lot of respect, but you don’t control this place.”

“Your sheep farm is a complete disaster. That design  _ may  _ have worked… in 1.2. Thatś composed of nothing but outdated redstone. You don't even have repeaters to continue the redstone, half your problem is that it dies before the signal can even be sent. Not to mention that killing chamber is extremely slow and inefficient. Your design is complete garbage,” the robot analyzed all this with a deathly voice, as their detractor seemed to shrink smaller and smaller with fear. Every word was cold and harsh, ¨Mutton is an extremely poor source of food. You shear sheep for wool, and when you have to manually dye each sheep that you senselessly murder, you’re wasting dye. It’s a pile of junk, and to top it off, it’s a sheep farm. I might not make the rules here, but I do enforce my own. No. Killing. Sheep.”

The other man was practically yelping as he scampered off. The robot sighed, taking the sheep over to his side of the forum. The yellow shirt man was shaking his head, but the smile on his face revealed his true feelings on the matter. The watchers of this began to disperse as things began to return to normal. Cub had a feeling this wasn’t the first time someone built a sheep farm to make the robot lose his cool.

“Think Zedaph would mind caring for this little guy?” the robot asked. 

“He’s never said no before!”

Cub was speechless. He turned to Scar, “Do you think…?”

“I-” Scar blinked, “it could be.”

Cub bit the bullet. He walked up to the duo with a lot more casual courage then he thought himself capable of, and asked, “Excuse me, are you Tango?”

“Yes, I am,” the robot confirmed, “and I know what you are asking. No, I will not help you fix a farm in your world. That was a one time thing. If you need to troubleshoot, do that on your own and try to-”

“No, I don’t need your farms. I just... “

“We met Zedaph a few days ago and were curious if you were the Tango he mentioned,” Scar explained when Cub’s voice failed.

“You saw Zed?” the yellow shirted man, Impulse, looked surprised. “I thought he didn’t like coming to world hubs. Most don’t let him bring his sheep.”

“We were worldhopping and-”

Tango stuck a sword to Cub’s throat quicker than he could explain, “If you hurt him, I will make and throw you in your own personal unbreakable redstone hell, and you won’t get out until the Developers have mercy, vagabond.”

Cub flinched, “No, no we didn’t hurt him. We were just passing through.”

“That’s what they all say,” Impulse snarled, ‘then you find a world filled with nothing but dead bodies.”

“I don’t kill people” Cub said, “and Scar wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Scar denied it immediately, “I have.”

“You’ve what?” Impulse asked.

“Cub I’m not as innocent as you think. If you want to get their help…. I’m tired of lying,” Scar admitted. Tango didn’t blink. Cub wondered if he could.

“Then, tell me the truth. Did you hurt Zed?”

“No,” Cub confirmed.

“Did you hurt any of his sheep?”

“Of course not!” Scar gasped.

Tango set down his sword, putting it back into his inventory. The robot stared at Cub and Scar, then nodded, “I sense you are telling the truth. I don’t trust worldhoppers. What,” Tango nodded to Scar, “do you mean by having killed people.”

“I mean that I will kill to protect Cub,” Scar answered. “I may not be the best at it, but I can hold enough on my own if I must.” Scar's voice was deathly serious for the man. The world was silent for a moment.

Tango grinned sharply, showing off fangs, "I can respect that in a person."

"Wait, wait," Impulse cut in, "are we just going to trust each other without sharing names?"

"Well, I'm GoodTimesWithScar, Scar for short," Scar introduced. Impulse nodded at the markings that lined Scar's body.

"And I'm Cub," Cub followed.

"Just Cub?" Tango asked.

"I'm not sure," Cub admitted.

"What do you mean, not sure? Just check your communicator!" Impulse suggested.

"I don't have one," Cub replied.

Tango tilted his head, "What do you mean, did you lose it?"

"Someone… I used to trust took it from me. I don't know where it is now," Cub replied, slowly moving the words through his brain. He couldn't explain the Vex, but maybe they would understand…

"That's not good," Tango remarked. 

"Is there a way to get another one?" Scar asked.

Tango shook his head, "Each player spawns in with one. You could try the black market, but you'd be stealing someone else's identity. It's best if you two stick together then, if he doesn't have a communicator."

Cub's heart skipped a beat. He and Scar wanted to get away from each other, in a strange way. They both cared deeply for one another, and yet, this entire trip, the point of coming here, in the end it was to part ways. Now, here was Tango saying, in essence, that Cub and Scar should stick together. The robot didn't know Cub and Scar's circumstances. All he knew was that they knew Zedaph, and yet already he had been treating the duo with a level of respect and cordiality unbound by any other player. Impulse beside him as well, quieter in the moment, yet still so obviously kind. That was what struck Cub the most, the kindness of these two near strangers.

"What if," Scar asked, "we were here to split up?"

Impulse started, "Wait, I thought you two were friends."

"We are, just..." Scar swallowed.

"It's really safer with a friend, unless you have a good reason for splitting up, " Tango said, "staying together, especially in worldhubs is best. Not every corner of them is the tacky spectacle they pretend to be."

"I noticed that," Scar spoke, "the design choices are awful, who even made that... those colors clash horribly!"

"The developers did," Tango said, with an air of finality that Cub didn't catch until after he had spilled his next comment.

"Could the developers get me a new communicator?" Cub asked. 

Impulse and Tango shared a look, silently communicating in a way that Cub recognized and new. One glance between friends told a deeper story, a bond that couldn't be cut so easily with a sword. "They could," Tango began.

"Then how could I contact them?" Cub asked, looking away. 

Impulse laughed, "You can't just contact a developer--"

"--I might know someone who could help," Tango revealed. The three others in the group shot their heads to him. 

"What?" Impulse asked, clearly just as in the dark as Scar and Cub were, if not moreso. Strangers don't often casually share things, but friends do. For Tango to have kept this a secret...

"It's not a secret that I know some people in Mindcrack, and, might I remind you, some of them have had contacts with the devs," Tango revealed in a tone level.

"What?" Scar inhaled quickly.

"How do you think Docm77 lost his arm?" Tango grinned. Cub liked Tango's grin. It was about as wide as a Vex's, but all the more kind. 

However, he had a different thing on his mind, "Wait, what is Mindcrack?"

"You- you don't know what Mindcrack is?" Impulse said, in a bit of surprise to his tone. 

Tango's eyes narrowed in a suspicion that Cub and Scar pressed against each other for mutual comfort from the robot's analyzing gaze. "You aren't telling us everything."

"No," Scar said, "but we are telling you what we can. You don't like worldhoppers, but there is a reason we don't like players."

"You don't like players," Cub reminded gently, "I'm ambivalent towards them." 

"Those scar's aren't entirely from mobs, are they?" Tango observed.

"I'd rather not talk about this right now."

"Then I respect that," Tango nodded, "for now."

The group was quiet, an awkwardness filling the air. Impulse was the first to break the silence.

"Now that that's sorted out," Impulse said brightly, "why don't we get going on that dev finding scavenger hunt."

"Woah, woah, it won't be so easy Impulse," Tango warned, "especially not dragging around these two."

"Hey," Scar began.

"Cub here doesn't even know what Mindcrack is. He's new, at least in mind," Tango argued back before Scar could even begin, "he needs protecting, and if you two plan to split off, Cub is a good target without his communicator on."

We're both good targets, Cub thought, at least, if you players knew our value. But you don't, and we will take advantage of that to provide for our personal protection. 

Is it lying if they don't ask? Cub and Scar being with Tango and Impulse shouldn't put them in danger. The Vex weren't a threat, not here, so far from Cub's... not home. Home was the wrong word, but he didn't have a word that didn't evoke feelings of place with it. He settled on mansion to describe it, with plans to revisit the subject when they weren't focused on... something. Cub shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He needed to stay focused.

"I might not know a lot," Cub said, "but I trust you and I promise to not let you down. You have no reason to trust us, we're basically strangers, and--"

"--And Zedaph rubbed off on me. He makes friends with everyone, even shady worldhoppers. The whole time we were talking, Impulse over there was contacting Zedaph," Tango casually revealed. Cub looked over at Impulse. The man was sheepishly holding a communicator that Cub only now realized he had been typing away at for the entire course of conversation.

"Zedaph knows you two. Says you stayed a few days and that you are like him, whatever that means," Impulse reported.

"I don't understand any more then you do," Scar replied, trying to keep a note of awkwardness out of his voice.

"Oh! He's replying," Impulse said. Tango peaked over Impulse's shoulder, Scar and Cub stood there, neither will to admit the worry they both felt. 

"You two are hybrids?" Tango said, surprise rising in his voice. "You certainly don't look like it."

"To our advantage," Scar replied.

"Zedaph's dealt with enough freaks. They don't come after me that much after my name became well known enough, but they have tried with Zed and Impulse," Tango nodded.

"Some people," Impulse sighed, planting a palm into his face in a show of exasperation, "they like to think that just because I wear a creeper on my shirt, I must be part-creeper!"

"What are you two hybrids of?" Tango asked, "I'm assuming villager for you, Cub, but--"

"--I'm not a villager," Cub quickly clarified. 

Impulse blinked, "Then why are you wearing villager robes."

After a moment's hesitation, Scar stepped in to answer for Cub, "The clothes he spawned in with weren't very good, so I got him some more from a village. We don't have the diamonds to spend on a nice outfit for him."

"But you did have the diamonds to spend on one for you," Impulse observed.

"I didn't buy this, I spawned in with it," Scar said. 

"It doesn't matter, it's just clothes," Cub quickly retorted, praying that the group would end this small squabble sooner. He was being selfish enough, after all. He was diverting the attention of three people to find and bother a being that was only rumoured to exist, just to get a communicator for himself. It felt almost dirty, how easily it had been to basically manipulate the others into agreeing to do what he had wanted. The Vex were manipulators, and Cub had claimed to be of the Vex. Was that what he was as well? A manipulator? Why had Tango and Impulse decided to help them, could it be for more sinister reasons then helping a friend of a friend. They had mentioned hybrids and nonhuman kidnappings, was that what they were walking into?

"It's not just clothing," Tango replied, seemingly a bit shocked by the tone he inflicted. "It's a style, it's how you present yourself. It's what's comfortable in your body. And no one should have clothes that they bartered with villager's for, at least, not because of lack of option."

Cub blinked, suddenly feeling self-conscious in the layered robes he wore. He hadn't particularly enjoyed them, he had to admit, but they did do their job. The idea of clothing that he could feel both comfortable in and look nice... he didn't think that was an option. Especially not for the cost it would take. "I don't want to be a burden--"

"--It's not being a burden!" Impulse declared, "it's taking care of a new friend."

"You're already doing so many things for us," Cub swallowed, "I don't want to take advantage of you."

TAngo nodded, "And by not wanting that, I'd say you are a far step ahead of not taking advantage. This is my treat, and I have more diamonds than I need."

"Even if you don't know everything about us? We could be lying to you," Cub shot back.

"Are you lying to us?"

"But what if we are?"

"Are you?"

Cub and Tango locked their gazes on one another. Cub was forced to admit defeat after a minute of intense staring. "No," he relinquished, "I guess we aren't."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Tango asked, holding out a cybernetic hand. Cub stared at it for a moment, a bit hesitant.

"Cub?" Scar's voice rang in Cub's ears. He just...

"This is probably going to come back to bite me in the butt," Cub heard himself say, "but thank you."

He took Tango's hand, feeling the tough material. It was metallic and cold, but Tango's gaze was warm and confident. They shook hands briefly, and Cub slowly felt a smile creep onto his face. Friendship was nice, he had to admit. 

Scar split up the handshake, jokingly, in a moment, "Well, we have a lot to do today, so we should probably get right into it soon."

Cub withdrew, chuckling slightly.

"The shopping area isn't too far away, but it's a good walk, do either of you two want to rest first? It's always day here, but you still grow tired and you don't need to take a nap on the streets!" Impulse's voice was fast, Cub observed. Fast, yet somehow calculated in a way the robot's voice wasn't. Impulse had a lot to say and no time to say it in.

"We'll be fine," Scar spoke for the group.

"Cub?" Impulse asked.

Cub blinked, wondering why Impulse had asked him as well as Scar. Scar had answered for the group, hadn't he? Or was this something players did, making sure everyone was in accord before continuing with something. Cub searched himself, and while he was a bit tired, he wasn't in need of rest. Just... maybe a break sometime. He didn't dare say that in front of Tango and Impulse, so instead he simply responded with, "I'm fine too."

"Good," Tango responded, "I know a shortcut, but it's probably best we stick to the main paths when we have two noobs here."

"Scar's not a noob," Cub defended, "and neither am I." Silently, Cub added, we've been around for longer then you know.

"He doesn't mean it in a bad way," Scar spoke, "neither of us are particularly good at human interaction."

"Zedaph liked us," Cub defended.

"Zedaph makes friends with anyone who doesn't traumatize him," Tango said, completely deadpan. 

"Is that a joke...?" Scar's uncertainty shuddered his voice.

Tango's response was a quick and cold, "No."

Scar bit his lip. 

"Well," Impulse smiled, "we should get going. I know the main paths unlike Mr. Edgyface here, so I can get us there quick!"

"Why haven't they built a minecart track or something to get around quicker?" Scar asked, sighing.

"Only the developers know," Tango shrugged, "and who knows what they get up to."

"I thought you did?"

"I know people who might know," Tango clarified, "but the likelihood of this working is low. Very low."

Cub swallowed. He didn't want to admit that to himself. Everything he had learned so far had pointed to the comm as the one source of independence. Whichever world housed it was inaccessible to him, and dangerous besides. If this didn't work... he could just stay by Scar's side forever. That option was much more appealing then a darker thought that came into his mind as they began to follow Impulse, Tango and Scar beginning to pick up friendly banter as they learned each other's speaking quirks, feeling each other out and learning through speaking alone. Cub wasn't quite so good at speaking, but Scar somehow had that touch with Tango. Whether it was the robotic nature, Cub didn't know. He was just happy that they connected so well.

It gave him plenty of time to ignore the ugliness of his surroundings and think about a life with Scar. Scar wanted to go back to his mansion. Cub would follow, albeit, with hesitance and fear. Yet, for Scar, Cub felt he was willing to move a mountain. Scar almost felt better then a simple friend though it was a different deep then romance. It was brothers, a family that he had chosen for himself, a bond not smeared by bondage. If Scar asked, Cub would drop this quest in a heartbeat, and continue with him to his mansion, living the rest of his life as a Vex slave to be with the one he wanted. 

Being a servant to the Vex hadn't been too bad. Underneath the surface kindness and days of being ignored was nothing but a narrative of abuse, in the end, and yet it hadn't been so bad? Cub smacked himself, trying to clear his mind of that thought. Things outside were better. The Vex had made themselves the worst thing in Cub's life by removing his memory of anything that could have potentially been worse. They had chosen that when they stripped him, sold him. And yet... for Scar....

"Are you doing okay Cub?" Cub reoriented himself at Impulse's words. The man had fallen back. Cub noted his surroundings passively, noting the sleekness of the technical oriented district had been replaced yet again by the garish color palette of the center forum. 

"Of course I'm doing all right," Cub replied, his words slick with their lies before he even had a chance to think about it. Was he okay? He was scared, yes, but Tango and Impulse had planted something. Things were happening quickly, and Cub didn't like that. He enjoyed the thrill of speed, but right now, he just wishes they could slow down, take a step back, and plan out their next moves before racing off into a world unknown. Cub didn't know what was happening, and he was realizing he disliked not knowing things.

"Cub," Impulse's gaze searched into his soul, like it was trying to pick out Cub's internal self-reflection and take it for his own, "I know Zedaph trusts you, but I'm not as blindly trusting as Zed. Scar said you two were worldhoppers, but I've never met one like you."

"What do you mean, 'like me'," Cub asked, his voice containing the faintest start of a tremor.

"My theory is that you two aren't worldhoppers. You lied because you didn't want to tell us the truth," Impulse's words shook Cub to the core. He inhaled, exhaled, trying to refocus. Impulse was observant, intelligent. He almost seemed to hyperfocus on Cub while simultaneously herding the group. Tango might have taken the front end during the initial conversation, but to Cub, it was clear who the leader of the duo was. 

Cub kept his response short, "And?"

"If you are lying, that's fine," Impulse said. He stressed the next part of his words, "But, if what you are hiding could put us in danger, I need to know. I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I need to get an honest answer. Not an answer Scar may have told you to say, but an honest one."

"Why would Scar have told me to say an answer?" Cub asked, mimicking Tango's head tilt subconsciously.

Impulse sighed, "First question, is Scar hurting you?"

"What?" Cub physically recoiled at the notion.

"I mean, is Scar's coercing you to go anywhere? You seem pretty eager to separate from him, I need to know if we need to make that separation sooner," Impulse said.

Cub shook his head quickly, "Scar saved my life. He wasn't always a good friend, but now I trust him. We just both have our own ideas of where to go next, but we're seeing each other off."

Impulse narrowed his eyes, "In what ways, wasn't he a good friend?"

He used his magic on my mind to kidnap me. Cub didn't say that. He couldn't, but how could he say what happened in a way that didn't sound terrible. A voice in his mind reminded him that it was terrible. Scar had taken away his choice, did the Vex taking it away even more make a difference? 

If one kidnapped a person who was devoted to another, even if their life with the kidnapper was better and more free, was Scar really in the right?

Cub couldn't say that. Not to Impulse. Instead, he said what he hoped would work, "When Scar met, I was in a bad place, and I thought it was good. He helped me see that leaving was a better option then staying."

"Hmm," Impulse seemed to consider Cub's words carefully. "I think I can understand that. Are we in any threat from that place?"

"Tango shouldn't be in much danger, they'd probably want to keep to human minds," Cub thought, "but you would have to ask Scar about that. You could be in some danger, but when it comes down to it, if the... place from our pasts attacked, it would be me they go after most of all."

"Why you?" Impulse asked.

He was a ConVex who rejected the Vex. He would be fun to break. He could barely fight back, but he still knew magic enough to be more useful. He wasn't as troublesome as Scar. "They hate me the most."

"But who are they?" Impulse pressed.

"I'd rather not say."

"You just admitted they could be a threat to you. I don't want you getting hurt. Zedaph--"

"--isn't here, nor is he you. I don't need someone I met after hiding in a cave in fear to be your only judge of my character."

Impulse's smile infuriated Cub, "So, you are afraid?"

"Of course I'm afraid," Cub growled deeply, "Two weeks ago I was stuck in a mansion brainwashed out of my mind, and I still don't know who I am. I could be a monster, I could have  _ been  _ something, but I'll never know, and I'm never getting the chance to learn."

"You were quick about wanting your own communicator," Impulse's voice rose as he seemed to fit the few puzzle pieces Cub had granted him together, "because it's your only chance to truly be free."

Cub laughed hoarsely, "I'll never be free. Scar's going back to his mansion, and he'll probably be more safe then I will ever be."

"Being safe doesn't mean being free."

"What does that mean?"

"If, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, if Scar plans to return to his abusers after freeing you from yours, because he prefers safety over freedom, then he's wrong. Did you feel safe in your… mansion?"

Cub's gaze trailed to the side of the path. He observed the rainbow of flowers, some changing color even as they walked past in a subtle spectacle that he suspected was the magic of the Developers. "No," Cub said, "I just feel fear and regret."

"But you feel safe with Scar?"

"I don't want to leave him," Cub admitted. He wondered who tended for the poppies, all lined in a row, none plucked nor trodden.

"Do you feel safe with Scar?" Impulse asked, and Cub realized what Impulse was doing. He wasn't allowing Cub to deflect or not answer. He was being direct, focused in his words. Cub didn't have a choice but to answer with honesty and firmness. It was comforting in a way Cub had never expected honesty to be.

"Yes," Cub answered, head held high, "I feel more safe with him than I do without him. He is family to me."

"You don't want to see family going back to an abusive situation."

"He's made his choice," Cub said, his throat unexpectedly catching on the words, "I've made my peace with it."

"Have you?" Impulse asked.

Cub refused to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of posting this chapter, I wrote 3k words on a new fic. So that's good, at least.


	19. Sewn Together

Their destination soon arrived. Cub, Scar, Tango, and Impulse were closer together now, after a friendly warning by Impulse to keep a look out for pickpockets. When Scar had pointed out neither of them had items to pickpocket, Tango had tossed them each a diamond, saying that 'now they did'. Cub realized, then, he had never remembered holding a diamond before. The Vex were wealthy, hoarding all manners of gems and gold, but they had never wanted Cub to touch it with his naked hands, and insisted that he take care to use gloves when polishing the precious gem. The diamond felt dizzying to hold, like it was a battery of pure Vexual energy. Cub had to squeeze his eyes shut and focus on the pure chaos that reigned in it. It was intoxicating, and he could see now why players craved the precious stone. It wasn't particularly beautiful, but it was powerful, even if players couldn't feel it. Or, perhaps, they felt just a pleasant tingling, or a yearning for more power in their stomach. Cub didn't quite know. It had taken a concerned comment from Impulse and Scar's guiding hand for him to let go of the diamond and carefully bury it inside his inventory.

With the diamond mostly out of mind, Cub was instead shook by the market itself. Players crammed into each other on dirty streets, sellers peddling all varieties of wares, from live animals to cheap trinkets. Cub's head swarmed as he tried to figure out what to focus on, the muddied dirt streets? The scent of garbage and food? The neverending daylight that made the place hotter than it had any right to be? The cat screeching at passerbyers to try their world-famous fish kebabs? Cub didn't know. He pressed closer to Scar, making sure to keep a tight grip on the fellow ConVex as they pressed their way through the crowd. It was overwhelming, and Cub wished he hadn't decided to come here. Even walking in the shadow of Impulse and Tango didn't help much, there were just too many players. How could there be this many players in the entire game? Players with their own lives and stories, happily trodding the world, unaware of any world beyond themselves? Cub swallowed. He needed to stay focused and follow Tango and Impulse. He was glad they hadn't thought to come this way before, without the help of the duo, they would be so hopelessly lost in between the ringing and shouting.

"Two pails of pufferfish! Cheap!"

"Get a snack from a modded server!"

"Swords! We got swords!"

Cub pressed closer into Scar. Scar was shivering, hard. His gaze looked glazed over and unfocused as tears dripped from his eyes. His breathes were shallow and far too quick for Cub's liking. Cub called out, "Tango?"

"Yes?" Tango shouted back.

"Can we get someplace quieter?"

"We're almost to the clothes!"

"Soon please!"

For now, Cub used Scar as his focus, guiding the panicking player through the shops, trying to ignore how many  _ players  _ were around them. Far too many. This was a bad idea. Cub didn't like this, and he was tired and Scar was crying, and they both needed to get out of here. Cub didn't even dare to deviate from Tango's path, never-the-less, petrified with the idea of getting lost in this hustle. Cub breathed a thanks to every god out there when Tango turned and pushed his way through the crowd. Impulse helped by walking beside Cub and Scar, using his body to keep the walkers at bay while they broke off into a smaller, yet significantly less crowded and calm, street. 

The area was filled with cloth. That was the best way to describe the wools, some colorful, some not, and linens that lined the walls of the merchants. Others seemed to sell armor, spacesuits, and other manners of clothing in a wide variety of styles. About twenty stalls were here, and everything was a lot quieter. Cub and Scar looked around, admiring the furs and leathers with shock at the fine quality of the goods and outfits. Cub spied a leather jacket similar to Scar's, and joked, "Maybe we could twin!"

Scar snorted, "Find something you like Cub."

"And don't worry about the cost," Tango said, "I'm willing to pay for anything you want."

"I still don't want to take your money..."

"Consider it a reward for making my day better then. I haven't been outside of the technical areas in a while. I've forgotten how ugly everything looks," Tango laughed, "they may make incredible life, but do the Devs not know how to make a matching color palette?"

"The technical area looked nice," Scar commented.

"That area is player designed," Tango said, "of all the places, the technical area is the only place where we really carved out our own spot. the builders, I've heard, have been petitioning to allow them to redesign the areas, but the Devs haven't responded."

"Do they often ignore things?"

"It's less 'ignoring'" Tango made air quotes, "and more that, the world is getting larger every day. They're too busy to be close with players anymore."

"But Docm77 of Mindcrack knew one," Cub recalled.

Tango nodded, "He challenged a god to a battle and lost his arms."

"I- what?"

"Go have a fun shopping trip Cub," Tango said, plucking diamonds out of his pocket, and practically thrusting them into Cub's hands. Cub didn't bother to count, he could already tell it was more wealth then he would ever get to own again. Dozens upon dozens of blue gems, and they were his so long as he spent them. It dazzled his mind. Cub took Scar's arm, dragging him away from the fine hats he was trying on, insisting that they shop together. "I need to know what looks good on you!"

"You'll look best in what you feel comfortable in," Scar said. 

"Look at that!" Cub gasped as he perused the wares of an armor shop. On display they had a heavy chainmail set, with purple inlays. 

"It's going to be far too heavy for you," Scar warned, "I don't understand how some players wear nothing but armor."

"I've never worn armor," Cub reflected as he observed his reflection in the shiny mirror.

"If you don't want the armor," the player manning the booth said, "I also sell other padding protection. You might like the leather armor."

Cub looked over the aforementioned leather armored set closely, feeling it. However, as much protection as it would provide, Cub didn't feel like it. It was a sturdy piece, it would certainly help him take a hit, and yet, it was just so cold and stiff. He shook his head with a smile, "I don't think I'm in the market for armor."

"In that case," a brown-haired passerby walked up to the booth, "I'll take the purple armor. Purple is my favorite color."

Cub moseyed to the next booth, which was selling accessories, not outfits. He glanced over the booth and its bracelets, scarves, and other array of items. There was a thick stink wafting from odd cubes, covering everything in a strong floral scent that made Cub's eyes water. He took a step back to catch a breath of air. 

"See anything yah like?" the shopkeep, a cow clothed in complex robes with piercings everywhere, asked.

"Maybe later," Cub smiled shakily. 

"You just let me know, dear."

Cub shuffled away, and finally fell upon a booth selling more normal attire. From t-shirts to tunics, all wares were carefully watched over by a half-resting man in a hat not quite dissimilar to Scar's, were it not for the blue coloration. Cub pawned through the goods, noting that the stall sold pants, shirts, undergarments, and other similar items. Baseball caps lined the perimeter of the store. Cub didn't particularly like the idea of wearing a hat. He mostly lacked hair on his head, with only a bushy beard and a few longer strands that still had yet to fall out from the stress of his life. A hat, he felt, would just be itchy, and wasn't worth any limited protection it might provide.

Instead, Cub searched through the shirts, desperately checking each one, its design, its style, its color, wondering what he truly wanted in it. Maybe he was overthinking something that should be as basic as shopping for clothes, but, to him, at least, it wasn't just buying clothes. He was buying something for him, something entirely his own, that he got to pick out. Scar had gotten everything, and before that it had been the Vex. Now, he had been given diamonds and told to take what he wanted. Whatever he wanted. He could take the green shirt with the ugly beige lining if he wanted, even make it clash with the redstone-shaded pants. He wasn't a builder and even he knew that would look awful, yet he didn't care. He had the option, and that was what mattered. He wanted the option to make his own choices, to greet someone in the streets, for better or for worse. This was his choice and what he truly wanted. Clothing didn't matter. His option to take what he wanted mattered.

Scar was beside him, quietly chattering to the shopkeep as Cub moved on. Nothing had particularly interested him there, but the next stall had something that caught his eye. The clothing here was a more traditional variety, and a lot more formal. Off to the side was a clean, newer shirt and tie. It was gray-ish blue. The color of the Vex. As much as Cub wasn't too fond of the Vex, he had to admit he still adored that color, and the formalness? 

His prior clothing didn't quite compare. The shoes right next to it matched it perfectly as well, with their slight black shine, and the pants beside it, a darker color that matched perfectly. He wanted it. He desperately did, and that's how he knew that he had finally found something he would always be fond of. The shopkeep was playing on their communicator, a jackalope with red bangs. He cleared his throat, worked up the last bit of courage he needed, and spoke, "How much for this?"

The jackalope looked up, shrugging, "A diamond? I don't know the prices, you'd have to ask Arduano."

Cub reached into his pocket, pulling out the diamond he now had. He didn't quite want to part from the fuzzy electrical feeling he received holding it, but this purchase was worth it. "Is this enough?"

"Sure man," the jackalope shrugged, accepting the money as Cub picked up the garments. The material was firm, but comfortable. Just before he walked back to Tango, something else caught his eye. A piece of white fabric in what appeared to be a secondhand clothing stall, from the odd mix mashed variety. Cub caught Tango's eyes for a moment, before forcing himself to turn away. He took the white fabric, and realized that, on closer inspection, it was a coat. A lab coat, to be specific, with dozens of pockets to hold things in. He tried it on, and it, of course, fit perfectly.

"How much?" he instantly asked.

"All's a diamond," the shopkeep grunted from behind his newspaper.

"Sold."

Then, taking all his newly purchased goods, he walked back to Tango, shuffling his baggage around to try and give Tango back the spare diamonds. Tango shook his head, "Go try those clothes on first. You can stand behind Impulse and I if you would like."

Cub was grateful for the opportunity. He quickly took off the layers of villager robes, placing them with the dress shirt, the pants, the button-up lab coat, the tie. It was almost instinctively that he tied it up into a perfect knot. Everything fit like a glove. He twirled around slightly, enjoying the way the lab coat spun with him. A small giggle escaped his mouth, unprompted. He loved it. The villager robes were good, but this? This was what he had truly needed. Clothing of his own, that he picked out, and now he was wearing and enjoying, and it was  _ comfortable _ .

"You done yet?" Tango called out in his always slightly strained voice, "Scar seems excited."

"I'm ready," Cub responded, glad his rising flush was buried under his beard. Tango and Impulse parted for Scar.

Scar's jaw dropped, "I, Cub, you look amazing."

Cub sputtered a bit, smiling even more, "Thank you."

"I'm serious," Scar said, "it just… it suits you. You look happy."

"See, you deserve good clothing," Tango nodded in satisfaction.

Impulse was bouncing in excitement, a habit that reminded Cub of Zedaph. He wondered who did it first.

"Thank you, Tango, I just, I can't thank you enough," Cub proceeded to do something he'd never done quite before. He took a step forward, and  _ hugged _ Tango. The metal chalice surrounding Tango was firm, cold, unyielding, but that didn't deter Cub from his warm embrace. He was crying, he realized, slightly.

"You don't have to thank me," Tango squeezed back. Under his breath he added, "I'm just returning a favor."

Tango's tone didn't speak of wishing to continue that, so Cub just offered one final hug, before pulling back. He wiped away some snot that had formed on his face. "I just…"

"I know."

And Cub felt that Tango did know. He could see it in the robot's face, the way there was an ever so slight humanity to his expressions. Cub smiled, comforting and warm, to see Tango's face fill with an unreadable expression, before treading back into its neutral positioning. 

Impulse coughed. Tango and Cub turned around. Cub smiled at the two. He barely knew them, how were they now a group? And yet, he felt like, somehow, they were a group. From duo to quartet. Cub was happy in a way he didn't know he could be. Even if they didn't speak. They were there, in the back of Cub's mind, like a looming presence that comforted him.

He enjoyed people.

.

"So what now?" was the question that slipped out of Cub's tongue.

The group had been led to a small orchard of trees, still in the shopping district, but away from the business and bustle. The world was oddly silent, and it almost felt unnatural how the barriers muffled sound instead of echoing them. The trees were artificial, but they were at least made of natural greenery, and not wool. It was like a meditation area, a place Cub could clear his head. It was the perfect place for the group to plot out and figure out where they wanted to go next. Tango seemed content with standing, he explained it was comfortable for him with his robotic design. Scar sat on a rock that almost seemed perfectly placed for that purpose. Impulse and Cub ended up sharing a fallen log to sit on. The grass was lush and green and real. The air was slightly damp from mist. It was refreshing and cool, Cub's new clothing keeping him at the perfect temperature. It was the perfect air of calm to lead into this discussion. 

And yet, no one spoke. Tango's gaze seemed far away, Impulse was nervously shuffling beside Cub, and Scar? Cub blinked. Scar seemed to be entranced by a beautiful blue butterfly that had chosen to rest upon his finger. It flapped its wings, before flying away. If not that he hadn't sensed any usage, Cub would have almost suspected Scar had conjured it via his magic. It was another curiosity, another distraction. Sensible distraction, but still a distraction. If Cub wanted to get anywhere, he had to do it himself.

"Right now, we have several options," Cub began, "and I don't love saying them, since, in the end, they are all based around me. I feel a bit selfish for this, but at least, for Scar, our next move is together. No matter what happens, I assume we want to stick together. Scar?"

Scar looked up, "Cub…"

"...Until then."

"Wait," Impulse said, "why exactly do you two need to part?"

"Actually, yes," Tango replied, "you two are an enigma."

Cub inhaled, sharing a glance with Scar. "I thought we've gone over this," Cub said.

"We know someone's after you two. I also know you two probably disagree on how to handle this. I want to know how I can handle this," Tango explained. "Being with you two paints another target on my back, doesn't it?"

"No," Scar said, "they won't take you. Four is too much trouble when…"

Cub picked it up for Scar, "Not when I'm the best grab. They go after me first, then Scar. You two would be fine."

"We won't be fine if we don't know who we need to watch out for," Impulse pointed out.

That… was actually a good point, Cub didn't want to put Tango nor Impulse in danger. He didn't want to put himself in danger. He didn't want to put anyone in danger. Did he trust Tango and Impulse? He had never gotten a negative reaction yet, but, an internal voice he could almost recognize as the feeling of fear was warning him off. This would go badly. Maybe not today, maybe tomorrow. He could feel it. He looked at Scar's gaze and recognized the fear. Then he looked at Tango and Impulse… They were worried. So worried. Worried about themselves? He didn't feel like it. He almost was like they were worried about him and Scar. It was a realization that made him stand up. "Do you mind if Scar and I take a minute?"

"Go right ahead," Tango said. Scar followed Cub as he led the duo a bit deeper into the small grove. They ended up near a small waterfall. It's roaring was deemed sufficient enough to disguise their voices from any suspicious ears. Cub stood near a birch tree, leaning slightly on the solid scarred trunk.

Scar was the first to speak, "I don't want to tell them about the Vex."

"They need to know," Cub responded.

"I just…" Scar sputtered. He drew back, pacing in a circle and playing with his hate.

"Why don't you want them to know?" Cub asked. He crossed his arms as he leaned back. He was almost surprised at his calmness compared to Scar's worrying. If the situation wasn't so crucial in the moment, he might have allowed his mind to wander and poke into why he didn't seem to get panicked nor stressed like Scar evidently was. His breathing was clear, Scar's was harsh. He was still and Scar was thrashing. 

"I… I'm worried they'll hate us. We're not human, but we're not hybrids. We've ConVex," Scar inhaled, and exhaled, deep breathing to try and calm himself down.

"We are together," Cub responded, "and they know us. If they hate us for being abused--"

"--I wasn't abused," Scar instantly said.

"Scar," Cub shot him glance.

"The Vex weren't always pleasant but--"

"--But when I made those arguments, you kidnapped me."

"That was different," Scar insisted.

Cub shook his head, "This isn't relevant now. They won't hate us."

"How do you  _ know _ ?" Scar insisted.

"I don't," Cub smiled, "I just have a bit of trust in them."

"That's dangerous," Scar warned, but his voice didn't carry any foreboding. It was a statement that had been drilled into his very core, and now was slowly being proven wrong. Cub took Scar's hand, providing a small amount of comfort. When had he become the one to comfort and help Scar?

"I know," Cub nodded, "but what's friendship without a bit of danger?"

.

When Scar and Cub emerged from the clearing, the world fell silent. The world was so still, so peaceful in contrast to the minds of the two ConVex. Scar was steadier then he had been, but he was relying on Cub comforting touch to keep himself strong under the gazes of Impulse and Tango Impulse was biting his fingernails, Tango was standing and staring. There was a sense of awkwardness in the air, a feeling that Cub could cut with a butter knife, from its thickness and perveances. No one seemed to know where to tart, and so the group stood there, lost. Scar swallowed. Cub squeezed his shoulder.

"So, you two are back," Tango said. The robot's red gaze fell on the two. Scar almost pressed backwards, but only for a moment as, to Cub's surprise, Scar took the initiative, stepping forward and answering Tango in a level voice.

"We're not going to tell you everything. It's... It's too much," Scar spoked, "especially for us."

"We don't need to know everything," Impulse reassured, "we just want to know something."

Cub nodded, making room for Scar as the two sat down beside Impulse of the fallen log. Scar's eyes were empty. 

To... I... Before we do this, we need to ask you a few things," Cub said, "just to see how much we need to explain."

"No problem," Tango nodded.

"We can answer anything you need us to."

"And we might ask questions of you as well. You don't have to answer. We may have pushed you too hard-" Tango was cut off by....

"No," Scar said, "you two deserve to know, especially if you are going to be helping us. Have you ever heard of the Vex?"

""Those mobs? I guess?" 

"They aren't just mobs," Cub said quietly, "they have power. A lot of power. And they want more power."

"I don't see what this has to do with you"

"Zedaph thinks we are Vex, or at least, half-vex. We aren't either. We're something that the Vex themselves created. We're ConVex," Cub revealed.

Tango and Impulse's gazes were marred by confusion more than anything. Impulse asked, "And what is a ConVex."

"A player," Scar stared at a tree with a particularly eye catching knot. His voice was mostly emotionless, but thick with something that Cub couldn't quite trace, "a player who the Vex find, somehow. And then the Vex takes this player and they change them. into something that can serve as... a conduit of Vex magic."

"You two have magic?" Tango asked.

Cub closed his eyes. He visualized the rock he knew was in front of him. The cracks, the shape, and the slight moss on it. He pictured the rock and he pictured it raising higher and higher. He stretched out his hands as the whispers of power flowed through his body, towards the rock. From Tango's gasp and Impulse jump, he didn't have to look to know he had performed it successfully. He slowly set the rock down before turning to the two. "Does that answer your question?"

"The Vex gave you this magic, that's…" Impulse's voice was raw with awe.

"It hurt," Scar spoke. Tango tilted his head. Scar pointed towards himself, "they rearrange you. I'm not human anymore. I'm not a hybrid, I'm just a ConVex."

"You can do magic," Tango said, "if not being human means you can do  _ magic _ …"

"The magic is probably the only bonus," Cub warned, "you also get the  _ very  _ pleasant bonus of having the Vex own your soul and mind, rearranging it and distorting it, until all you know and wish it their will."

"I-  _ what? _ " Impulse gawked.

"Then, when you are the perfect servant for the Vex, some mansions will sell you to serve as a symbol of status and power to the mansion. You are less than a player in the eyes of the Vex. If a Vex happened upon Scar or I, they would see us as their property, in the same way we view diamonds found on the ground to be our own," Cub continued, "they kidnapped us, they changed our minds and bodies. Scar was lucky to be allowed to leave his mansion occasionally and keep his communicator. My experience, far as I'm aware, is more typical for ConVex, except for one key difference. Scar and I escaped from my mansion. However, if another ConVex finds us, if the Vex find us, we could be taken again. They say we are worthless--" Cub laughed lowly, "--we're so valuable to them. They hide it because they fear us escaping. We're their nightmare and we just want to be left alone. Or, at least, I do. But… if they do find us, anyone we travel with could be in danger. My old mansion is still around. They could even be searching for Scar and I after Scar took me. If you come with us, they might take or kill you," Cub took a breath, "I don't want that to happen."

The forest was so silent you could hear a pin drop, or maybe an item clash to the forest ground. The expressions of the various players were varied, mixed as their species. Tango's intrigue, Impulse's surprise, Scar's fear, and Cub's... Cub's Cub didn't know. He was numb. He almost felt like none of this matter anyway, not anymore. It didn't matter where he was or that he was doing this. This didn't matter. He had said his piece, and he was making a plea to a higher , wealthier entity to help him. How was that? It was a consensual beggin. A plea for help,. Cub held his breath in anticipation of the room's next words.

"I... Cub, that's... that's horrible," Tango was the first to break the silence, with words shocked and still comforting. 

Cub couldn't help but laugh. There was nothing funny, but the picture he had right here of Tango's words. Or maybe he just didn't know what else to do... Or maybe he was just tired, emotionally and physically. It had been a long day for everyone, not just Cub, but he wondered if it bent down on him more than the others. . 

"It's what happens. I'm not the only player in this mess, and I doubt Scar and I will be the last. There isn't a way to stop it," Cub shrugged. To his slight surprise, Impulse nodded.

"Even the Devs can't stop this from going on between other players. I can't imagine how they could deal with creatures who can alter a player's code. I'm so sorry that you had to go through with that. Neither you nor Cub deserve it. You two... you two don't deserve this."

It's not whether we deserved something," Scar said quietly, "It happened. It's nothing we can change now. I still sometimes see the days where the Vex punished me, even on my good days.."

"Wait," Tango's brain was running. If he wasn't built so efficiently, Cub could imagine fans in the back of his head working over time to drive off the heat that must be generating as he leapt from thought to thought, "You said that you wanted to return to the Vex, didn't you?"

"I do want to return to the Vex," Scar agreed.

"Scar," Tango took a step forward, bending up in front of Scar, before dropping to his knees, almost like he was proposing Scar or engaging in courtship. Tango took Scar's hand and asked, "Why are you going back to those that hurt you?"

Scar didn't seem to have a good answer ready. He started and stopped his mouth several times, not unlike a fish in terms of what was happening. . Eventually, Scar landed on a simple, "I know. I need to go back."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to press. It's safer with the Con- with the Vex. It's safer. I'm not safe without them, the world is dangerous," Scar babbled and babbled.

"You know how to use a sword?" Tango asked.

"I… yes?"

"Then carry a sword if you need safety," Tango replied, "going back to abusers isn't safe. You're just afraid."

"You mentioned they hurt you," Impulse chimed in. "When the Vex hurt you, do you feel safe?" 

Scar was deathly still. Tango stood expectantly, waiting for an answer. Scar shuffled, "I… no," he admitted, "I can't leave them. They weren't as bad as Cub's. And if I go they'll find someone else, and they won't treat them half as well. It's not good, but I'm happy with my life. Cub doesn't deserve that. He deserves to get his own chance, somewhere, but he can't do that if he doesn't exist. He needs to get a comm, somehow. I have no idea how."

The group fell silent, again. No one really knew how to proceed. No one knew anything. No one wanted to be the first to speak. Cub was included in that. That was why he forced himself to open his mouth and shatter the silence. They needed a leader. Cub had to be what they needed. "Tango," he directed, "what do you know about the Mindcrack person--"

"--Mindcracker--"

"--Who met one of the Devs?" Cub ignored Impulse's interruption. 

"Docm77?" Tango asked.

"How did he meet the Dev?" Scar asked, curiously.

"He challenged them to a fight, and Dinnerbone removed his arms."

Scar blinked. Tango didn't change his story.

"Do you know Doc?" Cub followed-up

"Actually, yes," Tango confirmed. 

"Was that through Hermitcraft?" Impulse asked.

"Wait," Scar cut-in, "what's Hermitcraft?"

"It's an SMP I helped out once. They've invited me back but they're just about to find another world, so I'm not doing much with it," Tango explained.

Cub hummed with thought at the explanation.

"Anyway, I did jump in right in time for one of the potential whitelist meetings, and I met Doc through that," Tango explained. He tilted his head, almost looking far away. Cub assumed he had a communicator embedded in his eyes. "I sent him a message. Let's see if he responds."

"What did you send?" Cub asked.

"I asked him if he still was in contact with the devs," Tango said, "and if he is, can he help my friend get a new communicator. I probably should have done this back when I first heard about your problem, but..." Tango sighed, "You were hiding something. Thank you for telling us that."

"It's easier to build a relationship on trust than on lies," Cub noted.

Scar's slight flinch seemed to have gone unnoticed by all but Cub. "But," Scar swallowed, "it can still occur. Just… harder?"

"I mean, we can't fault you for not telling us your life story as soon as we met," Tango said, "and you didn't try to hide that you needed help."

Scar bit his lip.

"How long do you think it'll be until Doc responds?" Impulse asked, changing the subject.

"Probably a while," Tango said, "it might be night on Mindcrack, or he could be doing an event. We could be here for a few more days, and cross-server communication is best when at least one party is in a worldhub."

"So, we're basically trapped here?" Cub confirmed.

"It's not too bad," Impulse smiled, "we've got each other. Plus we could go look at cool builds in the building district. Or new redstone innovations, or whatever. It's sort of like a vacation for us. Tango and I don't hang out enough."

"What about Zedaph?" Scar asked.

Tango sighed, "He doesn't like worldhubs. He's gotten grabbed one too many times. But we should be fine so long as we stick together, and, well, to the main areas."

Cub absentmindedly wondered if the Vex ever tried grabbing players from worldhubs. It seemed like it would be too dangerous, but maybe sending a ConVex to pretend to be a player and snatch others would work. He couldn't imagine much usage for a 'unique' player, but he suspected asking or even probing more on the topic of player snatching would be less than ideal at this current time.

“In any case,” Tango continued, “you hum- players are probably getting tired. We’ll want to find a place to sleep.”

“But the sun is still up,” Cub pointed out, ignoring his tiredness. 

“Remember,” Scar said, “the sun never sets here. It’s truly a place that never sleeps.”

A place where players met. A place where you could talk in-between worlds. A place with the sun never sets. It was all so strange, a foreign idea, and yet, it all felt so good. Dangerous, but good. Cub didn’t quite know how to describe it. “So where do we find a place to sleep?”

Impulse stood up, with a slight smile on his face, “Follow us!”

Scar and Cub shared a confused glance, before standing up as well and following the duo out of the woods.

None noticed the white and black figure who followed as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder who would follow the group?

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been completely written. The current wordcount of the Google Doc is over 102,000 words, but this may change thanks to Ao3's formatting, and continued editing.


End file.
